[rcoreyus]

It would be interesting to interview prostitutes and see what their clients mostly want. It might be simple sex, it might be dominance / control. Maybe it is just "no expectations" sex. Probably it is very variable.

[SFDad]

"After reading such stories, articles (even newspaper articles) and opinions I must say I'm very disappointed, if not disgusted, in men."

Wow. I have to tell you, your post sent up warning flags to me. First you mention lots of research but don't cite anything in particular- telling us to go check ourselves. So I really don't know the veracity of your claim.

Secondly- why are you disgusted in men? Even if most men felt this way, as long as the man you are with prefers you to his hand, why would it matter?

Look- as a long time man, I see the pro's and con's here- masturbation is easy, relatively convenient and far less work- all things you mention. But would I chose it over hot sex with my wife of over 20 years- not a chance.

[darcdante]

Considering the cases of women whose parters' spend more time watching porn than have sex with them (and not just in WH or the internet, there are articles about it everywhere) I'd say that men do feel more pressured and insecure about their performance than they used to in the past. This, in addition to widely available porn, can make certain men believe that they 'prefer' masturbation, when what they actually prefer is the safety of not being judged by their partner.

Brilliant! I mean that, I think you have an incredibly accurate theory here. I just read a post in another thread that mentioned how women are sent mixed messages regarding sex (wanting too little is being frigid and wanting too much is being a "ho"). Men are also sent mixed messages. We're told constantly that we must always be sexual conquerors, but we're also now being told to respect women and to never treat them as sex objects. I still struggle with intimacy at times because I grew up with almost an idealized view of women, and I have a hard time outwardly showing my desire for her in any way more than just a playful slap on the butt.

At the same time, men now grow up with porn. These videos play on men's insecurities by showing men with penises way above the norm and women who are ready to go as soon as the camera starts rolling. The penis size issue aside, I think the art of seduction is dying. If the woman doesn't respond immediately to a man's advances, he may hesitate and draw inward. Likewise, women sometimes want a man to pursue sex aggressively, but our society has begun to teach men that this is improper. Our schools don't differentiate between the workplace and the bedroom, so men carry over one behavior into the other, not realizing that showing sexual desire is a trait most women want so long as she knows she means more than just sex to the man she's with.

As I stated earlier, it's something I still struggle with myself. Our society sends entirely mixed signals to both men and women when it comes to sex and it's complicated the issue way more than it should be.

[stressed]

I think prostitution can involve more than just sex. There are men who enjoy the power they have over prostitutes more than the actual sex. That they pay and can do whatever they want. That's why I don't think prostitution will ever disappear, no matter how porn turns into 3D or if computer monitors become 3D.

Considering the cases of women whose parters' spend more time watching porn than have sex with them (and not just in WH or the internet, there are articles about it everywhere) I'd say that men do feel more pressured and insecure about their performance than they used to in the past. This, in addition to widely available porn, can make certain men believe that they 'prefer' masturbation, when what they actually prefer is the safety of not being judged by their partner.

[DramaQueen007]

i know this is true of my partner ...tried to sort it and just found all the naked and porn links again despite him telling me he wouldnt and would wait for me only 2 weks ago. I give up, he says its not me...i give up

[Joey]

ooooow stories like these make me worry about my relationship

[rcoreyus]

Jns:
I don't know where to get data. I've seen the Reeperbahn in Hamburg (rather an amusing place BTW), where there are both places with porn booths and prostitutes (legal) on the streets. The prostitutes seem to be doing a good business - but I couldn't guess at the relative amounts of traffic.

I guess that as porn technology gets better there may be fewer men hiring prostitutes. On the other hand, the internet has made it a lot easier to find prostitutes. Not sure how the balance is going.

I do know that for me a person would always be superior to a movie (ignoring risks, morality, etc) .

[jns]

RC: almost by definition a high official has a massive ego and many if not most high officials don't believe the rules apply to them. But assuredly, he was also paying for a relationship he could control and discretion as much as someone that excited him.

I don't know about Japan, but Thailand still has laws that makes true pornography an underground industry internally. However, calendars from machine shops and such have stunning airbrushed models that put Playboy to shame IMHO. That being said, true pornography is spreading internally, from the internet and with cell phones.

The question remains, as pornography increases, will masturbation take over and prostitution mostly disappear for the local populace?

[rcoreyus]

An interesting point. In some Asian societies though (I'm pretty sure about Thailand and Japan - NOT from personal experience though ) prostitution is still inexpensive and common, but porn is also widely available.

I think prostitution is fairly common in the US - seem to remember that some New York high official was caught with a $4000/night call girl - destroyed his career. If he preferred his hand, why spend the money and take the risk?

I think the difference in today's western societies is that prostitution is very much a taboo for most men and that pornography along with masturbation has taken over as a major form of sexual release for many men. Real sex in a relationship may be more fun, but a man is more vulnerable in it and it takes a lot more work.

Are there any anthropological looks at the inroads of pornography and masturbation in societies that still have openly available prostitution at price that won't bankrupt?

[Lovcookie]

Being with a women beats masturbation hands down. I only reason I can think of would be in a case where the women just lays there and never tries to put some effort or new life, moves whatever into the sex partnership (team work). Then i could see how his imagination and hand maybe more exciting after a time.