[sandman24]

mess-t...r u staying in ur body?

Mess-t,

do u think its a physical problem or do.u" get all up in your head" & mentally block ur orgasms? I have been in situations where I couldn't cum when I don't stay in my body & in the moment. I discovered that it happens when i'm uncomfortable w/ the person i'm b/c either a) I feel insecure that I am being judged b) focus too much on what i'm doing & not the sensations i'm feeling c) have been purposefully holding back until I have satisfied her, & then feel like she wants me to "just cum already" bc she's done & is losing interest.

If u can cum through masterbation then it prolly isn't physical.
Try a) deep belly breathing
B) mapping ur vagina W/ him, kinda like going to the eye doctor, telling him what pressure, tempo, & location u enjoy. Once he finds the right combo don't be afraid to take the reins & tell him to maintain it, & don't let him try to sprint to the finish b'c he's excited ur about to cum. Hope it helps...

[Hopeless Dork]

I don't wanna hear u talk bad about everyone u've been W/ to make me feel better b'c it takes almost as much time & energy to dislike someone as it does to really like them, & shows that ur still thinking of them. I'd rather have a girl I like hate me than be indifferent about me; if i'm on ur mind I can influence u.

I couldn't agree more. I don't like talking about guys I've been with because they don't even cross my mind... one way or the other, I am not mad at them, or happy at them... I could care less about them.

One time my boyfriend mentioned an ex that broke his heart and actually seemed STILL upset at her... and that hurt my feelings, because like you i feel such a strong dislike shows emotion is still present, even if its a negetive emotion.

[LanaBear]

To clear up any confusion, I make it a point not to ask about past relationships & don't wanna talk about mine either...I don't wanna hear u talk bad about everyone u've been W/ to make me feel better b'c it takes almost as much time & energy to dislike someone as it does to really like them, & shows that ur still thinking of them. I'd rather have a girl I like hate me than be indifferent about me; if i'm on ur mind I can influence u.

Thanks for the clarification! Now I really think it is a cheap shot for her to say those things. She sounds a bit insecure and her way of dealing with it is to try and make you insecure as well.

[grrrr]

Sandman, first of all, it's really brave of you to open up on a forum that's mostly women (although men are always welcome, and it's refreshing to have a male perspective!)

I agree with Lanabear. She's not being very nice, and is totally taking "cheap shots" at you.

I don't think that "healthy" relationships are born when there's a comparison that either party cannot live up to. I hate the whole "penis size" thing - it's something that you're born with! It's not something that's "earned by good behavior!" - embrace it what you have. I think you should embrace a new woman, though. That's mean, but I don't she's worth your time. She sounds meaner than I am!

[darcdante]

I've been there, Sandman, and it ain't fun. My ex once told me that one of her exes was "soooo sexy" and how he went on to be a model with a masters degree. She also mentioned how another of her exes touched her like no other man ever had. I told her how those things made me feel, and she'd tell me I shouldn't take it so personally because she loved me and not them, but those things eventually drove us apart, and I never got over them until I met my fiance.

You shouldn't have to put up with stuff like that, and a part of you might be hurt by those comments for a long time to come. You deserve better, and I think you should let her know as much. Comments like that on a regular basis become verbal and mental abuse.

[MoonBunny]

I have a Bullet and sometimes when things seem really slow, i'll grab it and Wile my BF is in me, I hold it to my clit and it makes me come like none other having the two working together like that. Plus I get the warm closeness of him at the same time which is always a big turn-on. perhaps you should suggest to her something along those lines. She wont be disappointed and you can feel more a part of it with her.

[sandman24]

moonbunny

Moonbunny,

we have used a. Silver bullet while having sex & ur right, she does cum like no other. The problem is that since we started using it she has a hard time cumming without it & it makes me feel like I'm not able to satisfy her W/o using her toy. I want her to be satisfied but I feel like a spectator rather Than the source of her orgasm.

[sandman24]

Sandman, first of all, it's really brave of you to open up on a forum that's mostly women (although men are always welcome, and it's refreshing to have a male perspective!)

I agree with Lanabear. She's not being very nice, and is totally taking "cheap shots" at you.

I don't think that "healthy" relationships are born when there's a comparison that either party cannot live up to. I hate the whole "penis size" thing - it's something that you're born with! It's not something that's "earned by good behavior!" - embrace it what you have. I think you should embrace a new woman, though. That's mean, but I don't she's worth your time. She sounds meaner than I am!

grr,

I agree. since we've been together she has been insecure about her breasts. I admire them, pay them extra attention, & let her know how sexy she is b'c I love her & don't want her to feel that way. That's why I don't understand why she would tell me about Mr. 10 incher, tell me i'm the shortest guy she's ever dated, & say she wishes she could wear heels but doesn't wanna b taller than me???
do u think she could actually love me when she's trying to make me feel insecure?

Also, how do I deal w/ passive agressive behavior? What about the double-standard that since she's got three brothers & has been raised around guys that I should b ok with her having guy friends but I can't even talk to women W/o upsetting her?

[sourpuss]

Sounds like she's really insecure. There definitely should not be a double standard when it comes to who can have friends and who can't, that's extremely controlling. It seems like she's trying to cut you down to her level of insecurity with all the comments.

I don't know how you would deal with that, I'm not sure those kind of people ever change. Are you willing to live with it?