[LoveCatherine]

I need some tips on becoming more sexual confidant in the bedroom. Me and boyfriend have a great relationship, it's been nine months but I am a little shy and nervous about trying new sexual positions with him. I think were still working out how far each of us will go, and he was very un-confident himself at first but I can see now that he enjoys sex and get is quite 'kinky minded' which I don't mind at all. I know he wants to try toys etc. I am very open minded but at the same time I'm feeling very un-confidant. Need some help on this one, and what I need to be doing????????

Another part of it is, I think his ex-girlfriend was a lot skinner than me with fake boobs. And sometimes at the back of my mind I think, bet I'm not as sexier as her in the bedroom which makes me feel less confidant.

[LanaBear]

Just go with the flow hun... I don't think there is any secret at gaining confidence in the bedroom, just enjoy him, yourself and what the two of you are doing. Once you start having fun, confidence will come to you. As long as both parties are open and honest with each other, nothing you will do will be wrong.

Make it fun, get a book of sex positions put a bow on it and give it to him. Spend the evening (or weekend) locked away trying the positions front to back in the book. You'll laugh and have fun. Just walk into a toy store together or look at one online, with no expectations, just to find out what the two of you are interested in. Grab a bottle of chocolate syrup and go to bed, have fun, then have fun again in the shower after.

In my experience, having fun with it will lead to confidence because the more fun you are having the less you are concerned with how you look.

Don't think of the ex, he's not with her, he's with you and there is a reason behind all that. Be happy!

[Joey]

I couldnt agree more with LB.

Dont think you are the only girl to be self-concious when it comes to sexy time. im sure that all of us can put our hands up at there being a time when we didnt want our SO to see us wearing nothing but a smile. It is geniunly all about how confident you put yourself out there - when you undress and are naked in front of him - dont think of the impefections of your body - your beautiful, your guy thinks your beuatiful - so just strut around that bedroom thinking you own it!!! You are naked and being intimate with a guy you love and a guy who loves you - what could be more perfect?

Just take things slow and steady. Dont go jumping in the deep end with the kinkyness - especially if your not use to it and are nervous. Take things a step at a time. like LB said, get a book and work your way through it with him. Atleast then your trying out new things together - and its not a case of your boyfriend wanting to try new stuff out on you that you have no idea about.

seriously, dont worry yourself with thoughts of his ex. Yeah, he may have been sleeping with barbie with onions for breasts at one stage, but so what? hes with you now :-) Lifes to short to be worrying about the 'ex-factor'.

[Texinator]

Take baby steps. If you're both willing to move forward little by little, I'd bet you could 'drive' each other. With that I mean, the wilder you act, the more confidence it'll give him to be wilder himself, and the wilder he then acts, the more confidence it'll give you to be wilder yet. Eventually you'll find yourself having fun in Kinky Land.

[rcoreyus]

First - lots of men don't prefer skinny women with artificial boobs. Really - there are just as many who like women who don't look and feel like plastic.

I know its hard to be confident - but its also very sexy and fun, so it is worth a try. Has he said what sorts of things he wants to try? Maybe you could play cards for who gets to be the others "sex slave" that evening. Here by sex-slave I just mean that the other person needs to tell them what to do.