[headwrecked]

Hi my boyfriend wont discuss our lack of sex life!! its gone from an everyday occurance to a once every two week if Im lucky occurance!

[Hopeless Dork]

If he won't discuss it with you... theres not much you can do except to vote with your feet. More important than the lack of sex is the lack of communication. Make sure that you are using a conversation style that doesn't belittle or berate him for your lack of sex. A lot of men can feel like you are accusing them of being inadequate so be careful with your wording when you ask him why it is he he doesn't want to be close to you anymore.

How is his affection in general? Does he still hold and kiss you? Compliment you? Is there any stressers in his life right now? Anything he might be going through that is occupying his mind? Did he start a new medication? A new job? Have you guys been fighting? Is he distant in any other way besides sex or just sexually?

[headwrecked]

no hasnt really been distant in any other way, yes he works hard but that has not changed it has always been the case!! no medication no stress - Im at a loss! we havent spoken since thursday!!

[JaneC09]

I agree, this sounds like a lack of communication issue. I think you need to sit him down and just tell him how you feel. If you two can't communicate about this, it will become a huge obstacle in your relationship.

[jns]

Ask him about his work and find out if his work load has increased or he is worried about keeping his job? Make sure he knows that this lack of sex is causing you to have doubts about the relationship.

[MARIA D GREAT]

hi ................. i gues i have almost same but lil diferent problem
my husband get released so soooon n my body requires more sex
whn i strt enjoying sex my husband says em finished

[headwrecked]

thanks guys.... we can usually talk about everything and yes it is already a big obstacle now because when I want sex I feel like im pressuring him I have tried to talk he just says Im imagining things! We live in the same house but I have had to text him so I can finish what I have to say because otherwise it turns into a big row :*(

[headwrecked]

is this happening long? we used to have that problem but grew to know each others rythems and have a great sex life (well used to)

[jns]

hi ................. i gues i have almost same but lil diferent problem
my husband get released so soooon n my body requires more sex
whn i strt enjoying sex my husband says em finished

He needs to do foreplay on you to get you to orgasm first and hopefully several times. Then when he finishes fast, you will have already have had some sexual pleasure and hopefully you will have more during the penetration.

[WildChild]

Men, poor darlings, are often so socially conditioned to have their self esteem deeply tied to their sexual performance that any glitch in the system, any hint of less than optimal performance (from their own judgement - not yours) can produce near panic level responses and complete shut down of communication systems. Since many of them believe and even rely on the idea that men want sex more than women and that women don't really want it anyway, they figure when, how and where ought to be up to them.

A woman who wants it and wants it now can create a real quandry for some men. It just doesn't compute. About all you can do it TALK to him. Men don't understand hints. Get this- MEN DON"T UNDERSTAND HINTS. Engrave this into your brain. This does create a catch-22 for women though, if we are up front we run the risk of being labled a ho, if we try to be subtle and use ladylike hints we are unlikely to get what we need. This really leaves developing effective communication, or going cave woman and bashing him over the head an dragging him back to your cave - I don't think it was cave men who did this - it was the women. Otherwise the men would just sit around staring at the fire for hours on end.