[lizzardb63]

My boyfriend is always wanting to have anal sex. We've tried it like 3 times now, and I am not comfortable with it, but I love him and want to make him happy too. I just found pain from it. We use lubes, but he is very large. Will it ever NOT hurt? Its just painful, but I wanna make him happy and find pleasure in it too. Any advice?

[WildChild]

If it hurts you aren't doing it right. Period. It shouldn't hurt. Slow down, you sould be very aroused, have had an orgasm or two already. You may need lube although I've done it many times without and no pain or problem, you don't need tons of it, you just need to be ready.

He needs to tease and arouse, then gently enter just past the first band of muscles. Then he needs to stop and wait for you to tell him it's ok to go a little deeper. You need to just let your body adjust a bit, this may take seconds, or a minutes, that is up to you. Then he should just get the head past the second group of muscles and stop and wait again until you give the go ahead. After that it should be all good. It should NOT hurt. The only time I've had it hurt was when my first husband just forcibly shoved in without warning, preparation or arousal. It's never hurt since. This is an erogenous zone and should be something you do because it lpleasures you, not something you tollerate to please him or keep him.

[lizzardb63]

I know that if I don't want to do it, he's not going to leave me. I guess I just want him to be happy. Is there a certain position that could help? We;ve tried missionary and I think maybe I can fully relax myself in that position. Maybe thats why? But he is VERY large too... maybe we just dont "fit" together for that kind of activity.

[sallywi2003]

I again would suggest more lubrication like astro glide. I would also have him manual diapate you with his finger or fingers first theis seems to help. Before I have anal sex with my BF he diapates my anal opening with 2 to 3 fingers then we go spoon or doggy style. It seems to work for us. If it continues to hurst so much I would stop.

[YourHotKitty]

The thing about anal sex of any sort weather its with your partner or with any type using a vast varaiety ofsex toys that you need to keep in mind is to take it slow, and be comfortable. Don't over do it and take it slow, make sure you use lubricant at all times.

[Allie602]

Had a bad one: pushed into my anus by "mistake", extremely painful, my body shook all over, started sweating profusely and nearly pasted out. That's bad when you trust someone. I was too young and inexperienced to know that mistakes like that don't happen. When I think of it and I try not to, I realize how evil and abusive that was. Be careful ladies, just say no and if any "mistakes" are attempted get rid of the guy, he cares more for his pleasure and will watch you suffer to have it. If your partner is pressuring you to do it, buy a dildo about the size of his package and offer him the pleasure first. Every time he mentions it, take that bad boy out and wave it around. Res ipsa loquitur.

It is a vile act, that has unfortunately leaked onto the sexual landscape from porn. It is another sexual demand with nothing in it for women - lets see we got anal, deep throat, facials, swallowing, bj's, hand job's. Hope I didn't forget anything, I like to keep a catalogue of the latest porn acts, don't want anyone sneaking one in on me, don't like surprises.

[WildChild]

It is a vile act, that has unfortunately leaked onto the sexual landscape from porn. It is another sexual demand with nothing in it for women - lets see we got anal, deep throat, facials, swallowing, bj's, hand job's. Hope I didn't forget anything, I like to keep a catalogue of the latest porn acts, don't want anyone sneaking one in on me, don't like surprises.

I would qualify this statement and beg to differ. Any forcible sexual act is inappropriate and unacceptable, perhaps even vile. However anal sex can be very pleasurable for women and there are women who prefer it to vaginal sex. Done right, it is not painful and not necessarily messy either. In is unfortunate that you had this negative experience with anal. I understand the pain associated with it, I had a similar first experience with anal but I was willing to try again later with a more caring partner and found it enjoyable then.


Many of us also enjoy giving a giving man the pleasure of a bj or hj and some of us like to swallow. You cannot judge only by your experience.

[rcoreyus]

Um, mistakes can happen. I'm not saying that men never pretend to make mistakes (which is inexcusable), but depending on the position it is possible to aim wrong.

[Allie602]

Um, mistakes can happen. I'm not saying that men never pretend to make mistakes (which is inexcusable), but depending on the position it is possible to aim wrong.

What you say is untrue and perpetuates a myth that supports men who try this trick and float the mistake ****zz.

THERE IS NO WAY That a man cannot notice that there is a difference between the force required to enter a yielding vagina and the force to enter an anus. It takes some concerted hard pushing believe you me. And there are no soft moans but screams and pleads to STOP. MISTAKES LIKE THAT DON"T HAPPEN.

No excuses - no prevarication - truth. It's ugly but some of us have to deal with it we might as well all deal with it. A burden shared is a burden halved right.

BTW, have you ever had your anus penetrated by mistake, you seem to know so I thought I would ask, maybe there is something I don't understand about my experience, some mistaken notion that fear and pain may have put in my brain I don't know.

[Allie602]

I would qualify this statement and beg to differ. Any forcible sexual act is inappropriate and unacceptable, perhaps even vile. However anal sex can be very pleasurable for women and there are women who prefer it to vaginal sex. Done right, it is not painful and not necessarily messy either. In is unfortunate that you had this negative experience with anal. I understand the pain associated with it, I had a similar first experience with anal but I was willing to try again later with a more caring partner and found it enjoyable then.


Many of us also enjoy giving a giving man the pleasure of a bj or hj and some of us like to swallow. You cannot judge only by your experience.

Well you are clearly a better woman than I. My anus is off the table so to speak. I cannot not see why anyone would try something that hurt when there is a perfectly good vagina in the vicinity. Help me out - what would entice you away from the pleasures of nice vaginal sex to have something stuffed into your anus. To say nothing of the long-term health risk, anal stds, cancer, tears, infections, incontinence.

What is worth all of that risk? Does it feel so much better than vaginal sex that it's worth the risk, better and more consistent orgasms? boy if that were the case I might try it again to - that's one of my problems inconsistent orgasms. Is anal sex the hole...y grail of the female orgasm can 100% of woman orgasm 100% of the time with anal penetration? Do we finally have an organ that is the equivalent of that reliable orgasm organ the penis? I await you answer.