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  • Texasred
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 1216

    Originally posted by cocoa
    Quite a number of people place a high importance on sex for relationship satisfaction.

    Is this true for everyone, do you need good sex to be happy in your relationship?

    Are there any here who have little or no sex in their relationship and feel satisfied just the same?
    So which is it?
    Are you asking if the sex has to be "good," or are you asking if it needs to be frequent?

    To someone who's having sex only very infrequently in a relationship, ANY sex is "good sex."

    But I can certainly imagine - well, I don't have to imagine: I was in a long relationship with a woman I loved very much, but with whom the sex just wasn't all that great. That didn't make me love her any less, but I did feel a bit of frustration. We didn't part company over the sex, but over other things, and I still dream of her.
    So I'd say "Yes, you can have a good marriage or long-term relationship without 'good' sex, just as long as there is enough sex."

    Comment

    • Texasred
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 1216

      .....
      Last edited by Texasred; 09-07-2010, 07:52 PM. Reason: duplication

      Comment

      • cocoa
        Senior Member
        • Jul 2010
        • 135

        Originally posted by pretzel
        Every successful relationship has to have a bonding mechanism. For most of us that comes in the form of intimate physical contact including sexual contact. I'm sure there are couples where that bonding mechanism isn't sexual.
        Hmm . . . good way to describe it. I agree that there can be non-sexual "bonding mechanisms" and it's probably different for each couple. For some, an emotional bond suffices, time together, and for others, it's other kinds of physical intimacy. Quite an interesting topic.

        Comment

        • kat252
          Junior Member
          • Sep 2010
          • 7

          my answer is no
          you can have a good friendship and a good partnership- but i dont think you can have a good rrlationship without good sex-

          Comment

          • kygirl
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2009
            • 1058

            I have never been married, but I can tell you that sex does not define the relationship necessarily. I've had amazing sex with someone I didn't want to be with. I have not, however, had no sex with someone I do want to be with. I can definitely tell if I pulled away in the past that was the first thing to go.

            Now, don't get me wrong. I do think age and health and work schedules etc many things can weigh in, but I do think if you arent' have sex (or some similar form of intimacy that works for you) then one person (like Rcoreyus said) might be happy, but that can be far from successful as a couple.
            If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
            -Andy Rooney


            It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

            Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

            Comment

            • Mitchel1870
              Member
              • Nov 2009
              • 52

              I don't think you can, but possibly if both people equally don't want sex or have the same equally low desire that would be the only way it could work.

              If one perons isn't getting what they feel they need it causes a lot of stress, bitterness and arguments (as I sit here alone typing on a computer). Trips to the store are becoming difficult with my wife because i see the other women there and wonder if had I married one of them would I be happier right now. That is a terrible thing to think but I have a lot of bitterness and anger because the lack of intimacy. I have thought about leaving but what do you do after 15+ years and kids? I can't bring myself to walk out on my children so I suffer in silence (and loneliness). I love my wife dearly and she says she loves me. She is a good mom and person but the girl I feel in love with and that I thought 'yeah this is the one I want for ever' has written off items in the marriage that I miss very much now and feel I have been cheated on.

              Talk to the other person and if they are okay with it good luck. If they are not okay with it and you truly love them, let them go so that they may find happiness.

              Comment

              • rcoreyus
                Veteran Member
                • Sep 2007
                • 4369

                Yes, being stuck in a sexless relationship if you don't want one is really bad. You can't leave - your SO will think you are some sort of pervert for leaving "just because of that" and you can't tell your friends or family without betraying your privacy. The longer you stay, the worse it gets.

                Comment

                • stressed
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 1914

                  Originally posted by rcoreyus
                  Yes, being stuck in a sexless relationship if you don't want one is really bad. You can't leave - your SO will think you are some sort of pervert for leaving "just because of that" and you can't tell your friends or family without betraying your privacy. The longer you stay, the worse it gets.
                  I agree. It's terrible.

                  Comment

                  • Guest

                    I think it's inposible to have a long term relationship without great sex

                    Comment

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