[Guest]

I am engagged to a wonderful man and we have been together a year and a half. We used to have sex five times a day. Even pull the car over to walk into the woods to get busy! Now, we have gone way down to once or if I am lucky twice a day. I for some odd reason am ALWAYS in the mood! He says he is exhausted and wishes we could just have sex like 3-4 times a week, but I like having sex at least once a day. Isn't it supposed to be women that cut women off, not the man that cuts a woman off? Why am I always in the mood and what can I do to put him in the mood? I buy lingerie, and sexy little outfits, and everything to turn him on, but he seems to be exhausted. What can I do? I HATE getting cut off but at the same time I HATE having sex when he is not in the mood and punishes me by just laying there and watching tv. HELP!!!

[lizzardb63]

Well, have you ever heard, "too much of a good thing can be a bad thing?" Maybe by having sex every day that often it takes away from the excitment and anticipation of having sex. He just knows, yep here we go again, but if you wait a day or two its like, YEAH LETS GET THIS ROCKIN! It might not have a lot to do with not WANTING to have sex with you, but if you do it that often, what makes it so special or fun. Sex then is just sex. To give yourselves a break a little puts the excitement back. If you're that horny maybe you can get a vibrator for the days he doesn't feel like it. Also don't think he doesnt love you less or anything. That's crazy talk!

[Guest]

Thanks for the advice! I do have lots of vibrators, it just isn't like the real thing though! I will try what you said and just give him a day or two break... It just seemed strange to me because he has no problem bragging to the guys that he gets it all the time, and then they tell him to quit complaining about how often he gets it, because their women won't put out for 4-9months. I just thought any man would be happy to have a woman that has it all the time... Why is it ok for men to cut women off but then get upset when a woman cuts them off? I think that is ridiculous!

[Hopeless Dork]

Having sex as frequently as you have been having it can make it mechanical, even if you wear a different outfit each time. Its expected, there is no element of surprise, no build up of anticipation. You might love steak and lobster but if you had it 3 times a day all day every day, eventually it would be as exciting as meatloaf night.

Instead of just changing up outfits you can try changing up the way you seduce him, make HIM want it... give him some teases then pull back and go about your day. Put some spice into WHEN you inniciate, if you do that every day at a certain time change it up and pick a different time of day. If you are always in charge, take a step back and let him lead... if he always leads, charge in and take over. Go for oral instead of intercourse some days. Put on a different personality or character than usual. But most importantly give him some time to recoup after sessions, factor in his stress levels, his job and cut him a break a day or 2 a week and you'll find him reering to go.

What you don't want to do is turn sex into a chore like taking out the garbage, something he cringes over rather than gets excited about!

[Guest]

Thanks! He oral twice a day, I do tease him and string him along and most times he goes for it, and others it is just "honey, I'm watching tv, not right now!" I guess I can try to obstain from putting the moves on him everyday... It is not easy and he used to love it but I do see your point. I will try it and see if it puts him in the mood. I just thought he would like it because there is not a single day that he does not look up porn on his computer, so I figured well if he is looking up porn on a daily basis he must want sex on a daily basis...

[lizzardb63]

I agree!

The bragging is a definite guy thing! My man brags too, when he turned me dowon 3 days in a row. Its just how they are. And yes, it is sort of a double standard that if we turn them down its the end of the world but if they turn us down its okay. Its just how it works. Its dumb but, guys are weird too lol. I agree though, make HIM want you. Tease him. Start rubbing him and then just walk away like "Eh, no not today"... he'll be like "what....really....okay" lol. and he will think about it the rest of the day. Sometimes to get my man excited i send him a sassy picture text and act like i didnt do it. Very randomly though. All kinds of fun stuff you can do! Like walk passed him in just your bra an undies and pretend he isnt there. He'll start to wonder "hm, why isn't she trying to get on this"

[Guest]

Haha you're funny! Thanks for the advice. I got ****ed at him a month ago because he thinks it is ok to cut me off. So I went in the bedroom and left the door open a crack and brought out b.o.b. (battery opporated boyfriend! heehee) and enjoyed myself knowing he was watching. He said he enjoyed playing peeping tom, but when I wanted him to be the one pleasuring me, he wanted no part of it! I know he brags by saying, "man Amanda is always horny and it wears me out! I have to cut her off as much as possible!" Makes me want to smack him but his loss I guess... I was exhausted last night so I cut him off, so this morning he wanted it, but I guess I just get irritated that he doesn't do it when I want it, and he doesn't do what I want sexually (there is only so many times you can be on top and get sick of doing all the work!)! Aren't men supposed to be horny everyday though???

[Hopeless Dork]

Aren't men supposed to be horny everyday though???

Thats just a myth. Men are no more horny than women in general, some less some more, but no , they are not all the sex maniacs the media and society has lead us to believe they are. You would think they want it all the time and ones that don't get it routinely often don't turn down a free meal... but men in committed relationships with sexual women, that know they can get it whenever they want -- their true drives reveal themselves to be pretty normal, not oversexxed or undersexxed, just right in the middle like people assume women to be.

I can see where him looking at porn every day would make you think he wanted it every day, I'd be miffed by that too. Is he just looking? Or masturbating to it? Because it would feel pretty insulting if he was too tired for sex but not too tired to jerk off.

If he says he only wants sex 3 or 4 times a week, but looks at porn every single day... have you asked him about that? If hes not in the mood why he still wants to watch that?

[Guest]

It does tick me off that he watches it everyday. He said he just watches it and is not jerking off. He said he watches it for different sex position idea's (which I looked up the video's he watches and there is nothing on there that we have not already tried!), so he is lying about that. He always complained that he is used to jerking off at least once a day (when he was single or with other women that didn't put out), but he is upset that he doesn't get the opportunity to masterbate while he is with me (I told him not to waste a boner on himself when he can use it on me.) so he got aggrivated that he "wasn't allowed to masterbate when he wants to." Then has the nerve to complain that he gets sex too much. He def. sends me mixed signals and I don't know how I am supposed to read him when he does/says these things.

[jns]

I have never hear of a guy doing it 5 times a day for the long haul. So, maybe yes, too much sex.