[anygypsy]

I'm 25years old and my boyfriend is 34. I always want sex from him but he seems to only want it once a week. It also seems like once I get it I only want more. I try seducing him all the time and he always seems to have an excuse. I feel hurt by this rejection. We've only been dating about a year and a half. I feel like a raging hormonal teenager. Is this an age thing for both of us or what?

[Bellalla]

Nope.

I've had the opposite in fact.

Incidentally, only the men I've dated OVER 30 have had enough sex drive and virility to keep up with me. My 20-something exes resulted in me owning a very extensive collection of high-end vibrators and investing a lot in batteries.

[Colorado]

I agree Bellalla,

With the exception of one medically related period in my life, it has all been uphill, and only gotten better, with age - I've contatntly wanted it more as I've gotten older (again, barring the medical issue I had).

Is it an age thing for you anygypy? I cant answer that as I am not him... but for me and others I talk with, he is kind of 180 degrees out. As you starts getting older and getting to know youreself better, and caring less about what others think (other than the wife of course), you start loosening up and really losing all your hangups and inhibitions - especially when you know that the trust is there between you and the wife (you and the BF in your case), sex is sooo much better and you can really start enjoying yourself without fear of being judged and just have a good time. I think you will find that almost any guy you speak with who has had a relationship with an older woman will always appreciate it more than a younger one - being as the older woman has lost her hangups and inhibitions and just gets downright freaky (not a weird freaky - but a lets get it on! freaky) into it. The same with the guys, as we get older it's like - yea, we're gonna swing from the curtain rods tonight baby!

Now I dont mean to insinuate that this is the case with him or that you are prudish in any way - only you know that for sure, but have you really tried getting wild and mixing things up to keep it interesting with him, and is there a sacred bond of trust built between you both? If the answer is yes, I would start having some concerns about some medical issue he may be having, if that comes out fine... you need to consider the long term ramifications of continuing on in that type of a relationship. Life is way too short for you not to be happy and have the wild "throw the inhibitions out the window" sessions you deserve.

[Hopeless Dork]

Do you know if he truly only wants a sexual release once a week or if he is just masturbating the rest of the time? If he's only having the desire for one orgasm a week... at his age that would be a bit unusual and he probably should have a physical. If its just that he is releasing on his own because he is too tired, too stressed from work, bad -timing for when you guys can be intimate, etc... then you guys should sit and talk about ways you could compromise so that you both get your needs met... TOGETHER.

Most guys that are doing the once a week thing at that age, its not that they don't WANT to come more than once a week... its that they feel they only have the energy to PERFORM for YOU once a week. If sex is always a big production that has oodles of foreplay and he's doing a lot of the physical aspect... maybe he just feels like he doesn't have it in him to put that all together on a wednesday night afterwork. This is where communication has to come in... where you can talk about how open you would be to middle of the week quickies or just manual/oral play on each other intermittantly between your more major love-making sessions.

[Texasred]

Do you know if he truly only wants a sexual release once a week or if he is just masturbating the rest of the time? If he's only having the desire for one orgasm a week... at his age that would be a bit unusual and he probably should have a physical. If its just that he is releasing on his own because he is too tired, too stressed from work, bad -timing for when you guys can be intimate, etc... then you guys should sit and talk about ways you could compromise so that you both get your needs met... TOGETHER.

Most guys that are doing the once a week thing at that age, its not that they don't WANT to come more than once a week... its that they feel they only have the energy to PERFORM for YOU once a week. If sex is always a big production that has oodles of foreplay and he's doing a lot of the physical aspect... maybe he just feels like he doesn't have it in him to put that all together on a wednesday night afterwork. This is where communication has to come in... where you can talk about how open you would be to middle of the week quickies or just manual/oral play on each other intermittantly between your more major love-making sessions.

Everything you said is absolutely right-on - I can only perhaps add a little bit: It's possible that this guy is just not in very good physical condition, and would benefit from strength and conditioning (aerobic) exercises, a program that would make him feel a lot more energy and keep him from tiring quickly, if that is his problem.
More than once when I was in my 40s I had girlfriends who were in their 20s, and I had no trouble matching my desire to theirs. Often, the reverse was true, in fact; so, entertaining though the young girls were, women my own age (and often, older) were much more fun!
.
But having an office job, I had to work diligently to keep in shape, at least 8 hours a week of running and lifting.

[WildChild]

Have to agree with Colorado and Texasred, as you mature, you should have less concern with what anyone thinks and more about flat out pleasure.

Gypsy, I do think your man should get in for a check up. My current lover is about his age and when we see each other sex is at least once a day but usually more, depends on what we have going on. Once a week is pretty slim pickings.
How is he about pleasuring you in ways other than intercourse?

[maverick]

This age difference is not significant as far as sexual interest goes. If he only wants sex once a week or so it could be caused by one or more of several factors. His sex drive is way lower than a typical 34 year old, he has health problems, he has high stress in his life, he is taking matters into his own hands way too much, or he has another friend with benefits. You need to start by having "the talk" with him. Guys hate the talk so keep it upbeat and non-threatening. I'm going to guess that there is something causing this such as excessive masturbation, stress, low T, or high blood pressure. The good news is that once any of these are addressed, his sex drive will improve.