[Angel4party]

I have read one of the older threads about men wearing female panties. I'm so lost I don't know what to do.

My fiancee of 2 years just told me a few days ago that he likes wearing female panties and skirts. I don't know how to respond other than I don't like it, but he just went out and bought himself some female clothing and he didn't really tell me straight up that he did. He was asking if it was cool of he got some clothes but I didn't know that he went out and got some already. I really don't know what to do.

Can someone please help me?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Angel...

I understand your confusion and also how upset you may be...

I am not adverse to anyone discussing something and hoping that it will work itself through but 2 years have gone by and he's now decided to let you know "a side to him you didn't know, wasn't aware, that he hid" most certainly that is something that will at least be the "later" to discuss because if he just met you would you understand and accept? Would anyone?

What I don't like about this is that, he told you a few days ago, after 2 years, that's along time, then he went out and bought outfits, without discussing it further.. as if, you will accept it bad luck... That shows someone who is either, trying to show you this is who he is, blatantly or, ignoring you as a person, not allowing time for it to sink in and you see how you feel.

In addition 2 years is a long time in my opinion to "hide " something and not discuss with the person you love, let them decide on how they feel it's selfish in alot of ways...

He has hidden things from you one that you have established, anything else?

He has stated something, if he confided, he would wait and see how you feel, however, he stated and then bought clothes, that's like I can't hide any more, an what ever happens happens....

If a person loved so much, they "may" finally fess but talk, wait, try to let her/him see He seemed to have spoke and acted to me there is no consideration about you what so ever...

There is alot more to this, your lives together over that time, laughter, communication, intimacy, honesty, trust, friendship, way those up as well....

It would be hard to share a fantasy that someone else may not see as theirs, but to go out and buy clothes after stating it and you knowing to me shows dis-respect... just telling you this is me bad luck.

CW

[Guest]

Hmmm, does he have good taste in clothes ?? Maybe you could share..

im only kidding, sorry..

Has he explained just why he likes to wear womens clothes ???

[WannaBee]

Hi Angel:

I suggest that you ....... relax.

Yes he didn't tell you about it and it makes you uncomfortable. But you are in a longtime, from what I gather, stable relationship. So your man loves you, never forget that!

After a longtime you learn about a side of his you didn't know about before. I imagine that it is not that easy for a guy to tell his girl: "Babe I'm really into female panties. I'm soo sexy wearing them!" So eventually he worked up the courage to tell you. He probably had some, to him!, appealing fantasies of how you would react once you saw him wearing those panties.

Things did not go for him quite as planned. Well, these things happen. I suggest you take a deep breath and you guys talk it over. I wouldn't think that it's such a big deal. I mean, wearing female panties is not in any way threatening your sexuality nor is it aggressive in any form. If you don't like to see your man wearing female undies then that's that.

When you talk about it remember he loves you and it's not easy for him talking about his dressing style. If it were easy for him you would have known about it a long time ago. Maybe this chat will be a good opportunity to talk about aspects of your relationship and lovemaking as well. If you grill him only on this issue you definitely make him feel uncomfortable (and you don't want to do that!). Talk also about what you really like about him and maybe share a secret fantasy of yours.

Communication is key.

[Angel4party]

Thanks you guys. You are really helpful with all of this. ^.^

It is hard to talk to him about the clothes. He just asked me one day if he could wear one of my short skirts during sex. I was so confused and scared that he was gay or bi (which I don't have a problem with) and never told me. I almost started crying. I know that there are a lot men that are like that but I don't know anyone... I think.

I'm trying to accept the fact that he likes them and trying to be supportive for his sake. I love him with all my heart and I always will, but it's just hard to accept. I'm sure that I'll "warm" up to the idea that we can now match our panties. Which does seem kind of fun now that I think about it... HMMMMMMM pink or green, silky or cotton... lol

[rcoreyus]

His wanting to wear women's clothes doesn't in any way mean he is gay. If it bothers you, you don't need to go along with it of course. Maybe it is something he do occasionally to fulfill his fantasy, is there something special you would like to ask him to do for you?

[Colorado]

Yikes!

Yea, that would be somewhat of a surprise for sure.
I personally will never understand that type of fetish, but as someone above said - "as long as it's really not something that is threatening to your relationship", maybe you can indulge him every now and then. If he start to make it a primary routine and can only get his jollies that way - I think he should maybe seek some councelling or something. I guess all of this really depends upon you; can you live with this and accept his fetish?

[Angel4party]

I don't think that this will hurt our relationship. We have been through worse. But this is a bit different than anything that we have had to do in a long time.

I think that I might be warming up to his little change. Its still a bit odd but I might be a little better. I don't know. I'm pretty sure that I can live with this fetish. He has a few others so it shouldn't be to hard... I hope.

Thanks for all your help everyone. You all are very helpful.