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  • WildChild
    Banned
    • Sep 2008
    • 14142

    That or she can treat it like an ice cream cone. Licking up one side and down the other, tounging around the underside of the head, getting it nice and wet and using her hand to stroke, would be a good starting place.

    Comment

    • LilahX
      Veteran Member
      • Jan 2010
      • 291

      Talk to her about this in a non-threatening, non-judgemental way. Ask her about her feelings about giving head. She may have ingrained belief that it's dirty or have had previously bad experience, or fears you coming in her mouth or might just feel she doesn't really know what she's doing. Don't expect to solve it with one talk, but open the dialogue. Be patient with her and don't judge. YOu may not understand her reluctance, but it's valid to her and that needs to be respected.

      If she comes around to being more interested I second Tiny's comments - don't ever push her head (but hands gently in her hair can be a turn on), don't let her try to deep throat (that's really advanced stuff and not for everyone), don't expect her to take semen in her mouth at this stage. The more you make it about what she enjoys doing for you rather than what you want from her the better chance you have of ending up with a mutually enjoyable experience.

      Comment

      • Allie602
        Veteran Member
        • Jul 2010
        • 324

        Originally posted by ami
        Thank you all for your advice. I am just worried that i am the only one who gives but not getting it. May be I will try to stop for a while giving her BJ and see what happens. What do you guys think?
        This would be bad. You are getting an attitude that may get you into trouble. You are having sex with the woman you love and I assume having orgasms each time. 1) does she orgasm from oral or vaginal sex or both. 2) is her sex drive as high as yours 3) why are you giving her oral, to please her or to get something back?

        As far as orgasms go if, by denying her oral she does not orgasm or has a harder time having an orgasm, she is far less likely to have sex with you especially if her drive is lower than yours so make sure you are not cutting off your nose. You can orgasm easily from vaginal sex, can she do the same? Oral sex for a man is an extra way of having an orgasm for 70% of woman, clitoral stimulation is the only way, so you can do it by mouth or hand but if the mouth is more efficient then you got a problem.

        At any rate, don't get a punitive and entitled attitude about this one act and screw up you sex life. If you are having orgasms vaginally and she get them by clitoral stimulation and you like doing oral, why would you stop? You have to look at things in balance, don't let your pursuit of your pleasure eclipse the pleasure she gets out of having sex with you. If you are having all of the orgasms and she has few, she is not likely to keep having sex with you so be careful to keep things balanced.

        Off course I don't know what the quality of the sex is for her and you so I may be way off base.

        Comment

        • shweedart
          Veteran Member
          • Feb 2008
          • 679

          I started a thread about something similar to this, my bf got loads of blowjobs and I got nothing in return. I agree that holding oral sex hostage is a bad way to go about it but it's exactly what I did.

          It wasn't simply because I was being childish about it. I spoke to him about it and it gave me extra leverage to make my point (not start an argument)

          The only thing off-putting for me is cum. Some days I just cant handle the texture/taste so I dread doing it...other day's im all over him like stink on a warthog. Maybe your gf feels the same?

          Heres a quote from sex and the city
          'You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing!'

          True sometimes it can be tricky but it needn't be any of those!
          simple licking, kisses, hands and a lot of saliva usually does the trick.

          Comment

          • stressed
            Veteran Member
            • Jun 2009
            • 1914

            Am I confused, did I get it wrong, or are we talking about a lesbian relationship? Not that it would be any different, but it's what I perceive by the posts/language used.

            I apologize if I got it wrong, it would just make it easier for us to give advice if we knew.

            Comment

            • stressed
              Veteran Member
              • Jun 2009
              • 1914

              Another thing... in 2007 you posted that you've been in a relationship for 4 years... now you claim it's 5, when it should have been either 7, or 3...

              Maybe I'm being paranoid, but something doesn't add up here...

              Comment

              • ami
                Member
                • Sep 2007
                • 14

                Originally posted by stressed
                Am I confused, did I get it wrong, or are we talking about a lesbian relationship? Not that it would be any different, but it's what I perceive by the posts/language used.

                I apologize if I got it wrong, it would just make it easier for us to give advice if we knew.
                Don't be so confused. This isn't about lesbian relationship and as to the language, English is not my native language. I am still working on my language skills and i don't think this is an issue here.

                Comment

                • ami
                  Member
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 14

                  Originally posted by stressed
                  Another thing... in 2007 you posted that you've been in a relationship for 4 years... now you claim it's 5, when it should have been either 7, or 3...

                  Maybe I'm being paranoid, but something doesn't add up here...
                  we met in 2004 so it should be 6 years now. Thank you for reminding me.

                  Comment

                  • ami
                    Member
                    • Sep 2007
                    • 14

                    Originally posted by ami
                    she did orgasm from both oral and vaginal. my sex drive is more higher than hers. I am giving her oral because it is a turn on for me to see her orgasm and she really loves it.
                    she did orgasm from both oral and vaginal. my sex drive is more higher than hers. I am giving her oral because it is a turn on for me to see her orgasm and she really loves it.
                    Last edited by ami; 12-08-2010, 04:36 AM.

                    Comment

                    • ami
                      Member
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 14

                      Originally posted by Allie602
                      This would be bad. You are getting an attitude that may get you into trouble. You are having sex with the woman you love and I assume having orgasms each time. 1) does she orgasm from oral or vaginal sex or both. 2) is her sex drive as high as yours 3) why are you giving her oral, to please her or to get something back?

                      As far as orgasms go if, by denying her oral she does not orgasm or has a harder time having an orgasm, she is far less likely to have sex with you especially if her drive is lower than yours so make sure you are not cutting off your nose. You can orgasm easily from vaginal sex, can she do the same? Oral sex for a man is an extra way of having an orgasm for 70% of woman, clitoral stimulation is the only way, so you can do it by mouth or hand but if the mouth is more efficient then you got a problem.

                      At any rate, don't get a punitive and entitled attitude about this one act and screw up you sex life. If you are having orgasms vaginally and she get them by clitoral stimulation and you like doing oral, why would you stop? You have to look at things in balance, don't let your pursuit of your pleasure eclipse the pleasure she gets out of having sex with you. If you are having all of the orgasms and she has few, she is not likely to keep having sex with you so be careful to keep things balanced.

                      Off course I don't know what the quality of the sex is for her and you so I may be way off base.
                      she do orgasm from both oral and vaginal sex. my sex drive is more higher than hers. I am giving her oral because it is a turn on for me to see her orgasm and she really loves it.

                      Comment

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