[imsoscared]

ok, so when me and my boyfriend are having sex or just playing around, for some reason i can't ever have an orgasm, but when i masturbate, i can experience one instantly... what's wrong with me? sometimes he will try to get me to have one for an hour!!

any advice or answers??

[sjtorr]

There's nothing wrong with you.... and there's probably nothing wrong with him either. I'm the opposite... I can't orgasm on my own, but almost instantly with someone else.

Could be any number of reasons... could be he's not quite doing what you need him to do to make you orgasm (you may have to speak up... tell him what you want... and when he happens to do something right, tell him to not stop!!!). I've discovered the only way to truly get what you need out of an orgasm is to speak up, be vocal about what you like... and hey, you never know... it might turn him on too :-)

[lauralight]

Being vocal..

always has worked in my book.

[swollmommy]

try both

I have to masterbate while having sex in order to orgasm. I think a lot of women need direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Try a bullet during sex!

[sweetie11]

ME too

I have a trouble with having an orgasim as well. Maybe I think he is not doing it for me, but I wonder what is it....what will do it for me. I am so embarrased but I never had one. I don't think. What are some ways to get one? (Just curious)

[lilly41]

I agree what swollmommy said thats how i orgasim .you just need to tell your parnter where,what and how you want it to be pleasured.

good luck on that one.

[Guest]

Only 20-30% of women can actually have an orgasm from penetrational sex because most of our nerve endings that give us enjoyment are in the first 1/3rd of our vagina and they sink in further. It's very normal. Clitoral orgasms are much easier for us to have. Maybe focus on the clitoral area until you two can communicate enough to find a spot that will help you get a penetrational orgasm.

Good luck, and if that doesn't work I'm a huge supporter of bringing in a sensitizer product to help you feel everything more.

Julie

[kristiemichaela]

i am in the same boat and also don't understand why?
i have heard though that physically some women are more sexually mature than others. for the other sexual maturity comes a bit later
i am not sure

[1wifee]

I can only orgasm on top. Try riding him and instead of bouncing up and down try sort of grinding front to back its the only way I can. GOOD LUCK!

[kamy]

The Grand Disillusionment

I also have this problem. I can easily do it myself, but i don't want a clitoral orgasm. I want an orgasm from him. He gets one from me, why should I get anything less? Everyone keeps telling me to do it myself while he is in me, but that seems rather unfair. Or buy a toy or do it before or after he is done. Or tell him what I want/need. It is difficult to tell him what I want or need when nothing feels like anything and I have toys that feel the same...nothing inside. What I want is someone to tell me how to have an orgasm with him in me without extra hands or toys. I feel like ripping him apart with desire but I end up trying not to cry. I don't want to hurt his feelings, he is the most wonderful person I've ever met. I can't believe how much I love him and I don't want my lack of satisfaction to start making me bitter or worse, apathetic.
If some women can have actual non-clitoral orgasms then it seems there may be a physiological circuitry that is inherent but inhibited by years of mental training or most likely lack of strengthening the synapses (I waited for marriage). Is there a mental exercise I can do that can attach/reattach the neural pathways from my reward centers to my sheath?