[earwig123]

I recently found out that my bf first had sex when he was just shy of 15, with a girl he was with for nearly 5 years. This really bothers me because he was underage. My question is, does it really matter as much as I'm making it out to? They were together until they were 18 and there were never any mistakes or anything AFAIK.

[WildChild]

I don't think it matters. Is there something that leads you to think it does?

[budd]

Why would it matter?

They knew each other, I'm assuming they both were already well into puberty at that point, and they started getting curious about each others bodies. Society might say wait till your 18, but nature says different when puberty kicks in.

Why should it impact your current situation in any way?

[LanaBear]

I don't see why it would matter. His sexual past should really be of no worry to you, as long as he is free of disease, etc. It doesn't make him a bad person. They obviously had a lot of respect and love (even young love) for each other if they were together for 5 years.

Why do you feel it matters? Does it make him any less of a man in your eyes?

[earwig123]

I think it bothers me because my mum would have killed me if I'd been having sex at that age (I was 18 when I first did). I have a tendency to be a perfectionist so I guess it makes me feel like he's not quite *perfect* because he didn't do things at the "proper" age

[budd]

The proper age is when two sexually developed or developing people decide they are ready, and not some random age set by a society.

There is no such thing as perfect, so get that out of your head if you want to have happy relations.

Good luck.

[LanaBear]

I think it bothers me because my mum would have killed me if I'd been having sex at that age (I was 18 when I first did). I have a tendency to be a perfectionist so I guess it makes me feel like he's not quite *perfect* because he didn't do things at the "proper" age

Please keep in mind that you being a perfectionist makes you not quite perfect too. So, unless you want to live a miserable life in which nobody will ever measure up to your perfect standards, I suggest loosening up a little and realizing that everybody has faults. Even you, as well as your mom. 18 was your mom's opinion of 'proper', that doesn't make it right nor wrong, just her opinion.

[Bubba J]

I was 15, my GF was 13, and it was purely oral and digital, no actual penetration. We married at 20 and 18. Too young still, and were divorced in 2 years. It was learning, it was maturing, it was growth, but it had nothing to do with later relationships. Some people get too active too young, and that can cause pain for them but I don't see any reason it should cause pain for you unless you obsess over it.