Lost: Sex drive, Found: Boobs?
so i'm not sure if this is even the right spot for this thread but i'm guessing it is the closest i can get. move if u see fit 
so here we go!
i'm very confused at this point in life. it has been a very long past 4 or so weeks.
lets start from the beginning as there r a few issues & questions i have. so on the 1st - the 5th of dec, i had my period, i stopped for a few hours then spotted all the way from the 6th - 12th. well some where around the 10th or so, i notice my bra was starting to hurt me & i was having to unhook my bra in bed to sleep (my FIL was in town, so me & my husband slept on the sofa bed so my FIL could sleep in our room, so naturally i wasn't comfy sleeping bra-less). as well as my breast were sore. i began to cramp (like menstrual cramps) on the 11th or so, sometimes the cramps were so bad they would wake me up & i would b doubled over. one the 12th wen i stopped spotting, i began to have a discharge. the discharge & cramps continue to this day. as time continued, i was getting nauseated alot as well as heartburn became more of an issue than normal. i have been extremely cranky & moody. on the 16th, i had to buy a new bra, i went from a 36B to a 36C. i have taken 3 at home pregnancy test (last one on christmas) & then on the 26th i had to got to urgent care as i had a upper respiratory infection had been trying to fight since the 14th. i saw my doc on the 22nd to try to take care of it but they wouldn't give me meds cause she had concerns i was pregnant too. so when i went in to urgent care, i had them do blood work to make sure i wasn't pregnant b4 i took meds. the blood work came back negative. so from my understanding blood work is pretty much spot on. so while i was waiting for my meds at the store, i had to go look at a bigger size bra as my breast had gone up another cup size again! now i'm up to a 36D, in only 3 or so weeks i have gone up 2 cup sizes. my breast & nipples r still extremely sore & my nipples r darker.
so now that the month has been explained......now on to the sex drive.
so i haven't exactly been in the mood to do anything sexual. me & my husband had sex on the 6th & the 17th & we only had sex on the 17th cause i had had a few shots of southern comfort (it slipped my mind that i shouldn't have drank) & i was feeling frisky. but for the most part since i had started showing symptoms of possibly being pregnant, i was trying to hold off till i knew if i was or wasn't. as time went on i became less & less willing or even wanting to have sex with every pregnancy test i took that came back negative. i began to feel like something was wrong with me. my emotions were & still r all over the map. i would b fine one moment, crying the next. or just cranky. even my husband running his hands down my body just annoys me. & every time we go to bed at night he has been trying to dry hump me, which i have been finding very unpleasant. i couldn't even lay down in bed to relax without him telling me he was horny & him rubbing my body with his hands & poking at me. i just want to b left alone, which upsets me cause i know this is not the normal me & he is just trying his heart out to get me in the mood. normally i'm the one begging for sex & he is just trying to sleep. it upsets me to because, i have been telling him that i didn't want to do it but everytime i turned around he was poking at me! which made me annoyed/feel bad. not to mention the fact that i have been sick back to back to back. i had a stomach virus the beginning of Nov, then pneumonia the end of Nov to the beginning of Dec, the finally the upper respiratory infection i have had since the 14th or so till the present moment. now today i had to deal with some depression, i have no idea y i was depressed. as well as i feel like i'm sleeping my life away, as the infection makes me tired & the meds they gave me have codeine in it so it makes me even more tired & feel very confused & lost. as well as i feel a bit down that i am not pregnant cause i kinda got my hopes up a little.
we tried to have sex tonight (with protection), & even though i really tried for my husband's sake....i just could find myself truly desiring to have sex. he fingered me for a little bit but it started to hurt after 3 minutes or so, he wanted to try sex & i let him but it hurt. we finally just decided it was best that he just beat off on my breast. i don't feel, in the slightest way, sexual. i just can't seem to find it. i feel so lost right now with my own body & what is going on with me. i feel bad for my husband because he has done nothing but be strong & comfort me & i can't even find the slightest bit of sexuality to try & have sex with him. & he has been so understanding. i feel like something is wrong hormonally, emotionally, & just with me in all. my sex drive is gone & i'm not sure what is even going on. i feel like crying right now.
should i feel bad about not putting out?
given the events of this month, is it wrong of me to not b in the mood?
what the sam hill is going on with my body & hormones if the blood work says i'm not pregnant?
so here we go!
i'm very confused at this point in life. it has been a very long past 4 or so weeks.
lets start from the beginning as there r a few issues & questions i have. so on the 1st - the 5th of dec, i had my period, i stopped for a few hours then spotted all the way from the 6th - 12th. well some where around the 10th or so, i notice my bra was starting to hurt me & i was having to unhook my bra in bed to sleep (my FIL was in town, so me & my husband slept on the sofa bed so my FIL could sleep in our room, so naturally i wasn't comfy sleeping bra-less). as well as my breast were sore. i began to cramp (like menstrual cramps) on the 11th or so, sometimes the cramps were so bad they would wake me up & i would b doubled over. one the 12th wen i stopped spotting, i began to have a discharge. the discharge & cramps continue to this day. as time continued, i was getting nauseated alot as well as heartburn became more of an issue than normal. i have been extremely cranky & moody. on the 16th, i had to buy a new bra, i went from a 36B to a 36C. i have taken 3 at home pregnancy test (last one on christmas) & then on the 26th i had to got to urgent care as i had a upper respiratory infection had been trying to fight since the 14th. i saw my doc on the 22nd to try to take care of it but they wouldn't give me meds cause she had concerns i was pregnant too. so when i went in to urgent care, i had them do blood work to make sure i wasn't pregnant b4 i took meds. the blood work came back negative. so from my understanding blood work is pretty much spot on. so while i was waiting for my meds at the store, i had to go look at a bigger size bra as my breast had gone up another cup size again! now i'm up to a 36D, in only 3 or so weeks i have gone up 2 cup sizes. my breast & nipples r still extremely sore & my nipples r darker.
so now that the month has been explained......now on to the sex drive.
so i haven't exactly been in the mood to do anything sexual. me & my husband had sex on the 6th & the 17th & we only had sex on the 17th cause i had had a few shots of southern comfort (it slipped my mind that i shouldn't have drank) & i was feeling frisky. but for the most part since i had started showing symptoms of possibly being pregnant, i was trying to hold off till i knew if i was or wasn't. as time went on i became less & less willing or even wanting to have sex with every pregnancy test i took that came back negative. i began to feel like something was wrong with me. my emotions were & still r all over the map. i would b fine one moment, crying the next. or just cranky. even my husband running his hands down my body just annoys me. & every time we go to bed at night he has been trying to dry hump me, which i have been finding very unpleasant. i couldn't even lay down in bed to relax without him telling me he was horny & him rubbing my body with his hands & poking at me. i just want to b left alone, which upsets me cause i know this is not the normal me & he is just trying his heart out to get me in the mood. normally i'm the one begging for sex & he is just trying to sleep. it upsets me to because, i have been telling him that i didn't want to do it but everytime i turned around he was poking at me! which made me annoyed/feel bad. not to mention the fact that i have been sick back to back to back. i had a stomach virus the beginning of Nov, then pneumonia the end of Nov to the beginning of Dec, the finally the upper respiratory infection i have had since the 14th or so till the present moment. now today i had to deal with some depression, i have no idea y i was depressed. as well as i feel like i'm sleeping my life away, as the infection makes me tired & the meds they gave me have codeine in it so it makes me even more tired & feel very confused & lost. as well as i feel a bit down that i am not pregnant cause i kinda got my hopes up a little.
we tried to have sex tonight (with protection), & even though i really tried for my husband's sake....i just could find myself truly desiring to have sex. he fingered me for a little bit but it started to hurt after 3 minutes or so, he wanted to try sex & i let him but it hurt. we finally just decided it was best that he just beat off on my breast. i don't feel, in the slightest way, sexual. i just can't seem to find it. i feel so lost right now with my own body & what is going on with me. i feel bad for my husband because he has done nothing but be strong & comfort me & i can't even find the slightest bit of sexuality to try & have sex with him. & he has been so understanding. i feel like something is wrong hormonally, emotionally, & just with me in all. my sex drive is gone & i'm not sure what is even going on. i feel like crying right now.
should i feel bad about not putting out?
given the events of this month, is it wrong of me to not b in the mood?
what the sam hill is going on with my body & hormones if the blood work says i'm not pregnant?
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