[jns]

i underatand that 90% of erectile dysfunction cases are mental not physical blocks....its pre meditated....ive gone limo in the past because my mind was somewere else and then it happened again the first time i was with a new girl and at that point i was REALLY worried cause i thought it was going to be an ongoing thing....then i met a girl who i really developed a loving relationship with and the sex has been amazing since day one because i think in my head i wasnt worried about my "guy" working but truly enjoying her and her body.

The reasons for and causes of ED are not well known. I'm not sure if the 90% is a quote or what, but I consider it a reckless statement since so little is truly known about human sexuality.

In every orgasm, be it male or female, there is a psychological and a physical component. ED can happen due to the failure of one, the other or both. I suppose since female genitalia can become engorged with blood and turgid, if it doesn't become so from reasonable physical and psychological sexual stimulation, it could be considered ED also.

The physical component seems so easy to figure out, but that is not so.This is due to the psychological component being able to compensate for inadequate physical stimulation. Ask yourself how a wet dream comes about, if you need an example of this. Then when the psychological stimulation is strong, but not able to overcome the physical inadequacies, the problem is labeled a psychological problem.

The best way to attack the physical component in men is to use Viagra and the like if they are indicated, or some other herbals that do much the same thing. Try exercise. Try losing weight. Try altering other drug use.

The best way to attack the psychological component is to not dwell on past results and see them as a problem. To not have the other partner seem disappointed in that aspect of the sexual encounter. To be good at oral and manual sex. To make sure the other is satisfied, at least to some degree. To continue working on improvement. To use whatever level of erection you have to please the other before you please yourself.

[stressed]

Tolerate ED with one man I love, yes. Tolerate it with the next guy for a second time in my life, no.

[PandaPaws]

I think if there is a strong emotional attachment it would be a non-issue, especially if you were willing to please in other ways... But I think a lot of women have a lot of their self-esteem wrapped up in being able to turn a guy on -- so communication would be really important on your part to explain to her the medical aspects of your ED and how it has nothing to do with how attracted you are to her, how much you desire her... etc.

I think sometimes when a guy has ED, whether its a one-off, intermittent or a long term complication... they can get so wrapped up in their own ego, feeling embarassed etc... that they can forget to comfort their partner, most women don't think badly of a man with ED - they think badly of themselves, that they weren't sexy enough, not arousing enough, that its their fault.

I think as long as you can find a good woman that is interested in YOU as a person, as long as you are able to make her feel wanted and sexy and communicate to her whats going on when there ED issues come into a play, that you could have a healthy, happy, intimate successful relationship reguardless of your ED status.

Wow, really well said! Yes, definitely would require patience and understanding on both ends. Be open and honest with your girl, and what you're going through. If you shut her out about it, that's where those insecurities on her part will likely come into play. Do be sure to see your doctor though! Good luck

[evaone]

It will depend on how you really love your bf. did you consult a doctor regarding this matter?

[sarahlee20]

I am very happy i found this post. :-) My SO and I are currently trying to solve our ED problem. We haven't been together all that long but I feel such a strong connection with him. As others posted he's tried to pleasure me in other ways as well. It feels amazing, However the fact is that neither of us are being able to have that "special bond" and being able to connect with eachother. It really sucks but i am willing to stick it out with him. I know he would for me. In fact he is seeing a dr thursday. I hope they can help us and our relationship. If anyone is interested in reading my story the title is "why is this happening again?"

[Trying Hard]

I posted the following in another forum, and I guess it would be useful here too.

"Hi,
forgive me for maybe saying the obvious, but here it goes.
Is that physician of yours a specialized urologist? You should be having your pipes tested with a penile Doppler, as well as having all the necessary blood tests- glucose, triglycerides, etc, in case you haven´t.

I´m sixty now, and I remember the first change that happened to me was that I no longer maintained an erection going during all of the foreplay; it kept coming and going but when it was time for penetration, it was there all right, and I guess that´s part of the ageing process.

Losing some weight, you know, lifestyle changes, exercise, healthy diet, etc, won´t hurt, so go for it. Kegel exercises are helpful to some men, strengthening their pelvic floor, so give them a try, anyway. I do them on a daily basis, at least twice a day.

Hypertension medication has a reputation of causing ED; when I replaced my diuretics for Losartan, 50 mg in the morning and 50mg in the evening, I had the next morning a.m. erection so hard
it hurt!! :- ) I don´t think it was a coincidence. If you aren´t having your morning erections, that may be a sign of physiological ED, although men with depression may sometimes/temporarily lose theirs.

Psychogenic ED is a fact, so you gotta take that into consideration. Also,are you sexually attracted to your partner? To some men, having sex with their wives has become a pleasant obligation now… (and vice-versa, I might add)
Read the “Combination therapy: VIGAMED + Cialis” thread, it may work for you.
Hope that helps, and good luck to you."

[alicat]

the word "tolerate" sounds so intolerant. I am the wife of a man who suffers from ED and we have had actual intercourse only a few times in our marriage. His ED stems from the serious back injuries he has sustained and there are times that an internal switch is flipped and the erection goes off, when this happens we deal with it. Viagara is an option for most people, but only something we resort to on a very rare occasion because of the side effects; if he is suffering from a migraine then sex isn't going to be very good for either of us. Lack of penetration does not mean lack of sex life, we have a highly satisfying sex life both in frequency and intensity.

[evaone]

how about medication? as long as i still love this person maybe i can tolerate his ED. theirs a lot of means for me to satisfied and he should know it... we will work it out. but if he will just ignore it and did'nt care for it i will definitely live him for being so selfish.