Here's a bit of history. We've been married for 20 years, have one great 17 y-o son, and are fairly healthy in most aspects. We are in our mid-40s, and I'm in the perimenopausal phase, so my libido has dropped a bit, but that is not really my issue, since I'm very quick to orgasm, and therein lies the problem.
My husband still has the libido of a 17 y-o, but has other issues with sex. He has no trouble getting in the mood, is erect pretty much on command, but he has trouble finding release with me. Not because he finds me unattractive, but because he releases me so often, my vaginal muscles become loose, and we lose friction and he cannot ejaculate, even if he has had several dry releases. He becomes overheated after about 15 minutes of actual intercourse, and cannot find release. The overheating occurs even in the winter. I feel inadequate because it seems I have not done enough to get him his to his release.
Our relationship is healthy and open, and he has the option to persue other partners, even males, as he is bisexual. As long as any potential partners are clean, he can do what he wants, because I trust him to come home to me. We have been this way since our first year of marriage. He does not use this option, though, due to the fact that we live in a small town, and the closest place to find any kind of social clubs is an hours' drive away. He says that anal sex would be best to make him find release, but I find it painful for me. Oral sex takes even longer than vaginal sex, and sometimes he still does not find release.
Is the problem on my end or on his end? Do I need to find a way to stay tighter longer? Do we need to make love in freezing cold weather? So many issues here.
I do have lymphedema, and my feet hurt after being on them at work for many hours, but that pain seems to get in the way only occasionally.
I'm tired of trying to figure out how to make sure he finds release without causing me pain. How do I do this?
My husband still has the libido of a 17 y-o, but has other issues with sex. He has no trouble getting in the mood, is erect pretty much on command, but he has trouble finding release with me. Not because he finds me unattractive, but because he releases me so often, my vaginal muscles become loose, and we lose friction and he cannot ejaculate, even if he has had several dry releases. He becomes overheated after about 15 minutes of actual intercourse, and cannot find release. The overheating occurs even in the winter. I feel inadequate because it seems I have not done enough to get him his to his release.
Our relationship is healthy and open, and he has the option to persue other partners, even males, as he is bisexual. As long as any potential partners are clean, he can do what he wants, because I trust him to come home to me. We have been this way since our first year of marriage. He does not use this option, though, due to the fact that we live in a small town, and the closest place to find any kind of social clubs is an hours' drive away. He says that anal sex would be best to make him find release, but I find it painful for me. Oral sex takes even longer than vaginal sex, and sometimes he still does not find release.
Is the problem on my end or on his end? Do I need to find a way to stay tighter longer? Do we need to make love in freezing cold weather? So many issues here.
I do have lymphedema, and my feet hurt after being on them at work for many hours, but that pain seems to get in the way only occasionally.
I'm tired of trying to figure out how to make sure he finds release without causing me pain. How do I do this?
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