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  • ZAIRA
    Junior Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 6

    Race to have an Orgasm.....

    First, I would like to say that i'm new to this site, and I would like to thank the Moderators and Creators of this website, because this is a FANTASTIC resource for woman looking for help and 2nd opinions.

    I myself am looking for some advice and different opinions.

    First, I have to regrettably admit that I have never experienced and an Orgasm from Oral Sex, in fact the only time I have had an Orgasm is when I "get on top". This unfortunately can get a little frustrating, and boring, for both me; and my boyfriend. This is NOT my first partner, and we've tried a few different positions, but lately I feel that I've given up my "sexual exploring" and it's more just a race to have an Orgasm. I don't want to be selfish in bed, but I do want to Orgasm.

    Any Hot tips?
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    Originally posted by ZAIRA
    First, I would like to say that i'm new to this site, and I would like to thank the Moderators and Creators of this website, because this is a FANTASTIC resource for woman looking for help and 2nd opinions.

    I myself am looking for some advice and different opinions.

    First, I have to regrettably admit that I have never experienced and an Orgasm from Oral Sex, in fact the only time I have had an Orgasm is when I "get on top". This unfortunately can get a little frustrating, and boring, for both me; and my boyfriend. This is NOT my first partner, and we've tried a few different positions, but lately I feel that I've given up my "sexual exploring" and it's more just a race to have an Orgasm. I don't want to be selfish in bed, but I do want to Orgasm.

    Any Hot tips?
    What is it about being on top that causes the sexual excitement to be high enough for you to orgasm? Can you incorporate something in other positions and in oral or manual stimulation. I have never thought having a woman on top enjoying herself was boring. Why do you and your bf think of it as boring? Is your bf good at oral sex? How does he go about it? Is there anything about it that gets you sexually excited. How about with masturbation by you bf or by your own hands?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • ZAIRA
      Junior Member
      • Jan 2011
      • 6

      I can easily orgasm through masturbation. As far as Oral sex goes, I would tell him what to do....... If I myself understood what I wanted during Oral, I honestly don't have a clue what goes on down there during oral.

      Comment

      • jns
        Assistant Admin
        • Mar 2010
        • 8398

        Originally posted by ZAIRA
        I can easily orgasm through masturbation. As far as Oral sex goes, I would tell him what to do....... If I myself understood what I wanted during Oral, I honestly don't have a clue what goes on down there during oral.
        Why don't you start by you masturbating with him giving some oral at the same time. If your masturbating is directed toward your clitoris, he can direct the oral toward the labia majora on either side, the urethral sponge, the perineum and your anus (if he is adventurous). All of these areas can get sexually aroused. At the same time that he is working on arousing you, he can be seeing what you are doing with your hand or hands and can start helping out.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment

        • sungem77
          Member
          • Feb 2010
          • 39

          Originally posted by ZAIRA
          I can easily orgasm through masturbation. As far as Oral sex goes, I would tell him what to do....... If I myself understood what I wanted during Oral, I honestly don't have a clue what goes on down there during oral.
          its funny because i always say that i dont know what goes on during oral sex either but just dont stop doing it.
          first of all, you need to relax, it will happen. getting stressed out about it can add to tensing up. sex requitres a weird mixture of relaxation and tension. what i would do is, continue to try but dont get so attached to the outcome for a while. what i mean is ,just try to enjoy what you do experience during oral sex as much as you can. sometimes it just takes a really long time to get there. i've had boyfriends complain of lock jaw, but its well worth it in the end!
          secondly, let him get you really aroused with oral and then have an orgasm thru intercourse, theres no law about how you have to cum.
          thirdly, my last boyfriend and i were togther for 2 years and i could only orgasm thru oral, not intercourse. he was way more upset about this than i, but suddenly i started to have vaginal orgasms and that was that. so it can take a while, just be patient with yourself. how old are you btw?

          Comment

          • cathygirl
            Senior Member
            • Dec 2010
            • 108

            Of course everyone is different. Unfortunately, a lot of guys get their "technique" from porn movies, which are probably the worst place to learn about actually gratifying a partner. For me, oral sex on my is not very pleasant with the tongue flicking you see in the movies or the fast licking and so forth. It takes more of a sucking action, and only after I'm really ready for it. Slow, gentle, etc. and then building in intensity. But as I say, everybody is different. Your man cannot possibly know which motions feel best to you, and what feels best at the beginning may not remain the same as the intensity builds. A little "oh yeah, do that" works wonders. A little shifting and some guidance away from less pleasurable actions are good too, as long as you don't make it a big negative. I think all men want to make their woman feel good when they do this, but they aren't mind readers. We have to let them know and that sometimes takes a lot of experimenting. I would share more, but I sense that there's a bit of a taboo against being too graphic here. But if you search, I'm sure you'll run across some detailed technique descriptions that might help both of you.

            Comment

            • oxy-moron
              Veteran Member
              • Oct 2010
              • 551

              Try what JNS suggested with you on your back -legs in the air while he is on his side french kissing and tonguing your bits.

              Comment

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