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  • Ishii_Ren
    Junior Member
    • Jan 2011
    • 4

    Young and no sex drive

    There are probably many different threads in this Forum about the loss of a sex drive. I've read a few, but unfortunately since I don't have my information in there, the advice, doesn't work for me. So perhaps a little info might help.

    I'm 27 years old and I lost my sex drive (again). Let me explain. I met my ex 11 years ago, was with him for 9 years, but at about year 3 I lost my sex drive o_O. I went to my doctor, gynecologist and even a sex therapist and didn't receive one single possibility. I've had blood tests (galore), physicials and any other nasty bit of testing possible to look for the answer.
    The time came when I left my ex and suddenly I had my sex drive back in (raging) full!
    Recently I met this fantastic guy, whom I love and have so much fun being around him anytime I can. I was raging horny and we had sex 6-9 times a week.
    Unfortunately, it seems my raging hormones have left the building (so to speak). I no longer feel sexual. Not even when I'm alone. I do not live with him, but see him about 5 times a week.
    Does anyone have any advice (non-doctor related) for me?
    Thanks
  • WildChild
    Banned
    • Sep 2008
    • 14142

    How is he treating you?
    Do you feel loved and cherished or like a booty call?

    Comment

    • oxy-moron
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2010
      • 551

      Hi
      what you have experienced is the Coolidge effect.

      From Wikpedia is the following description-

      "In biology and psychology, the term Coolidge effect describes a phenomenon—seen in nearly every mammalian species in which it has been tested—whereby both males and females exhibit continuous high sexual performance given the introduction of new receptive partners".

      The original experiments with rats followed this protocol:[4] A male rat would be placed into an enclosed large box with four or five female rats in estrus. He would immediately begin mating with all of the female rats repeatedly until eventually exhausted. Although the females would continue nudging and licking him to continue, he would not respond. However, if a novel female were introduced to the box, he would become alert and find the ability to mate once again with the new female. This phenomenon is not limited to Rattus norvegicus.[5] It is attributed to an increase in dopamine levels and its subsequent effect upon the limbic system.[6]

      Human males experience a post-ejaculatory refractory period after sex. They are temporarily incapable of engaging in sex with the same female after ejaculation and require time to recover full sexual function. In popular reference, the Coolidge effect is the well-documented phenomenon that the post-ejaculatory refractory period is reduced or eliminated if a separate female becomes available.[7] This effect is cited by evolutionary biologists as a reason why males are more likely to desire sex with a greater number and variety of partners than females.[7]

      While the Coolidge effect is usually seen demonstrated by males—that is, males displaying renewed excitement with a novel female—Lester and Gorzalka developed a model to determine whether or not the Coolidge effect also occurs in females. Their experiment, which used hamsters instead of rats, found that it does occur in lesser degrees in females.[8][9]

      This effect has been know for at least a few thousand years- many societies have applied tricks to get around it.
      To sum it up they make slow love without orgasm. Sounds a bit of a let down I know but after a few months things start to change in a big way. - Google the Coolidge effect.

      Comment

      • Ishii_Ren
        Junior Member
        • Jan 2011
        • 4

        Originally posted by WildChild
        How is he treating you?
        Do you feel loved and cherished or like a booty call?
        He treats me very well, but like most men, once they discover what gets you going, they tend to overdo it. So a little talk about that is in order I think
        Otherwise, we get alone great, he's very nice, funny, patient, witty etc. etc. He's very attractive and attentive as well.

        Comment

        • Ishii_Ren
          Junior Member
          • Jan 2011
          • 4

          Originally posted by oxy-moron
          Hi
          what you have experienced is the Coolidge effect.

          From Wikpedia is the following description-

          "In biology and psychology, the term Coolidge effect describes a phenomenon—seen in nearly every mammalian species in which it has been tested—whereby both males and females exhibit continuous high sexual performance given the introduction of new receptive partners".

          The original experiments with rats followed this protocol:[4] A male rat would be placed into an enclosed large box with four or five female rats in estrus. He would immediately begin mating with all of the female rats repeatedly until eventually exhausted. Although the females would continue nudging and licking him to continue, he would not respond. However, if a novel female were introduced to the box, he would become alert and find the ability to mate once again with the new female. This phenomenon is not limited to Rattus norvegicus.[5] It is attributed to an increase in dopamine levels and its subsequent effect upon the limbic system.[6]

          Human males experience a post-ejaculatory refractory period after sex. They are temporarily incapable of engaging in sex with the same female after ejaculation and require time to recover full sexual function. In popular reference, the Coolidge effect is the well-documented phenomenon that the post-ejaculatory refractory period is reduced or eliminated if a separate female becomes available.[7] This effect is cited by evolutionary biologists as a reason why males are more likely to desire sex with a greater number and variety of partners than females.[7]

          While the Coolidge effect is usually seen demonstrated by males—that is, males displaying renewed excitement with a novel female—Lester and Gorzalka developed a model to determine whether or not the Coolidge effect also occurs in females. Their experiment, which used hamsters instead of rats, found that it does occur in lesser degrees in females.[8][9]

          This effect has been know for at least a few thousand years- many societies have applied tricks to get around it.
          To sum it up they make slow love without orgasm. Sounds a bit of a let down I know but after a few months things start to change in a big way. - Google the Coolidge effect.
          That's certainly an interesting reply. I get the coolidge thing, but what i'm getting from it is this: That I am one of those "lesser degree" females that require more than one sexual partner?

          Comment

          • WildChild
            Banned
            • Sep 2008
            • 14142

            Originally posted by Ishii_Ren
            He treats me very well, but like most men, once they discover what gets you going, they tend to overdo it. So a little talk about that is in order I think .
            LOL
            Yes, when they find something that works they tend to want to stick with it until They get bored with it.

            Comment

            • ItsASecret
              APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH
              • Apr 2009
              • 3721

              LOL
              Yes, when they find something that works they tend to want to stick with it until They get bored with it.
              Or they still do what they think would work even when you tell them it doesn't. Shaking your head during oral does not work if I say it doesn't!! Porn girls are paid to ooo and ahh with that lol. Arrrgg...
              There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

              Comment

              • Ishii_Ren
                Junior Member
                • Jan 2011
                • 4

                Yes, but I really need to figure out how to fix this. How to get my desire back?!!?!?

                Comment

                • Texasred
                  Veteran Member
                  • Oct 2009
                  • 1216

                  What else has changed? Did you suddenly begin taking a different birth-control pill? Because the pill can cause some to lose their libido.

                  Comment

                  • bunnysavedme
                    Junior Member
                    • Feb 2011
                    • 4

                    I find this really interesting that you posed this question because the SAME thing has happened to me .... happened with my ex -relationship as well .... all I could think of was that I miss the excitement of the new relationship and how great all that was (because at the beginning I was horny and loving sex) and now I'd rather do anything but ...
                    I'm sorry I don't have any answers, but I do know how it feels. ..

                    Comment

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