[summer44]

Hi not sure what to do here I have been married for almost 25 years i have two adult kids with a family of there own. In the 25 years that i have been married not all have been great i have never forgot about my ex (my first love) the guy i lost my virginity to... we dated for like 3 years and i only had sex with him one time. I broke it off but we still remained friends then at 19 i got married and he sent his way and had a kid to. So now the kids are growen and we got in contact with each other again and started talking and found out that neither of us had ever stopped loving the other one. We did meet and yes we did have sex and we talk everyday and tell each other we love them. Now as for my husband I do love him but im not in love with him...we have prob. and he always say's he will change and he never does stuff like showing me affection and having sex and just doing little things together like even go to a movie (which never happens) he hardly ever wants to have sex like maybe twice a month he say's its not me its him and after the first of the year he would go to the doc. which has not happened yet and by the way he is only 45. And yes i have cheated on him before and he knows about it but i have told him that when the kids grow up we have nothing.. he does nothing but work and watch tv...and here we are the kids growed up and im not real happy and then my ex gets back in touch with me i am really confused right now oh and my ex lives in another state so we have only seen each other 1 time in six months. But the thing is ...is that we have never stoped loving each other.

[CandieBears]

you never stopped being in lust with him. I hate to say it.. if you loved him and he loved you ... as you say you do you probably wouldn't have maried other people. And cheating is never ok. Make up your mind. Dont string him along, its not fair. either be committed to him(YOUR HUSBAND.THE MAN YOU MARRIED)... like you should have been when you took your vows or get divorced. and just because he's 45 doesnt mean he isnt having "male" issues.. you should be talking to him to work it out.. not with your ex or on the computer looking for answers... the answer you want... lies within your husband, not the www.

[summer44]

You are right CB cheating is never ok and i made a huge mistake by doing that..Just to let you know that me and my husband have already talked and he knows that he has not been treating me right and that we are not going to give up just yet. Over the weekend we went out to dinner and went shopping and talked and really had a good time something thats has not happened in like forever...he also told me that he would be a fool to let me go....that really made me feel good. So we are together and life is not easy but i think we will get thru this.
And as for the ex i do care and i will prob always "love or lust" him....but i married my husband and we have been together almost 25 years so something must be there right!!!!! i just want him to show me love and that does not cost a thing and he knows that now.... we have had a long talk and i think things will be fine. I just needed somewhere to vent my feelings so thanks for your honesty and for listening to me