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  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    Originally posted by somedude
    I'm in the middle of a possibly temporary break up and I'm basically waiting to move out of the house to finalize it so we can take the time we need to decide if we want to continue on together permanently. The question I have is: is there a good way to go about proposing break up sex? I'd like to be seductive with it but going about it the wrong way will do more harm than good. I just don't know how to be seductive when everything feels awkward right now due to the situation. Does anyone have any ideas? Is there a way I can find out if she'd be open to it without putting myself out there for rejection? Or is there a way I can initiate it and if she's not into it I don't lose face? There are plenty of articles on the interwebs about the rewards/risks of break up sex, but nothing about the right way to broach the subject.
    It would be better to let the past and all of it's glory be just that. Sex for just one last time without any other feelings will feel empty and tarnish your memories of being in love together. If you both work on yourselves and find your futures intersect, fine, start building a new future together at that time, but without the baggage of this "break up sex".
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • somedude
      Junior Member
      • Jan 2011
      • 6

      Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH
      I don't think you really are after break up sex at all.

      I think you are after 1) leaving her with the touch, the thought, the intimacy one last time....that will remain on her mind throughout this, instead of just walking out the door and her last memory is of say, a simple word, bye.

      If that is the case, tell her you would like a date, take her to dinner, buy her a dress to wear, give her a rose, talk at the table over wine only of past fun, happy things that happened, things that made you laugh and don't talk about the future.. Talk about the hobbies your going to start, but don't talk about the negatives, or past..... Kiss her and look into her eyes at the end of the night and tell her, she has been the most beautifulest person / journey in your life...Ask her, " I want to spend this last night with you " ..... and we can take our break and re-discover and grow..If she says yes? Then you can fullfill your emptiness of this "break-up" as much as she can...

      CW
      Wow... you not only explained my mind in a way that I couldn't put it in several paragraphs of several posts, but your insight into the kind of ending I think we deserve sounds absolutely perfect; as if it were hidden away in my mind the whole time and you plucked it out and showed it to me. Even if I don't go so far as to propose we spend one last night together due to the responses I'm getting from the other members, the rest stands on it's own so strongly that I know it is how I want us to remember each other. I'm completely taken aback. Thank you so much for understanding.

      Comment

      • CHANDLERS WISH
        • Mar 2008
        • 22440

        Wishing you well....

        You don't have to go to the end, like I said, I felt it was the "intimacy" you wanted, something beautiful, not actually "sex" and intimacy comes in many forms...

        We'd love to know if she accepted your "date" dinner.....and how it all went...

        Just be clear to her, that your not changing her mind, you do understand the space, and growth but you'd like that last memory to be with laughter and a good dinner together...

        CW
        PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

        Comment

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