[jessikuh]

Alright, ladies. I've been googling and googling trying my hardest to find how to help my "problem" and finally, after coaxing from the gentleman, decided to try a forum for answers. Any time that I have ever masturbated and any time the gentleman and I have sex/he orally gets me going, I've had numerous times where I have felt myself get right to the point and suddenly, it disappears. It's like a tease of "OH MY" but there's no release. It's just oh my... god... really? Nothing?! Sometimes, my clit will even be sore afterward but I don't have a release. I have this buildup that just dissipates.

Here's my recent mental image that might help. If I were a guy, right before I was about to ejaculate, my penis went soft. I feel like that would be me if I were a guy and I mean this in all seriousness. I don't know what else to do. I've tried not thinking about it, I've tried thinking about it, I've tried tensing my body and not tensing my body. What am I doing wrong?? Has anyone else experienced this?

[jns]

Alright, ladies. I've been googling and googling trying my hardest to find how to help my "problem" and finally, after coaxing from the gentleman, decided to try a forum for answers. Any time that I have ever masturbated and any time the gentleman and I have sex/he orally gets me going, I've had numerous times where I have felt myself get right to the point and suddenly, it disappears. It's like a tease of "OH MY" but there's no release. It's just oh my... god... really? Nothing?! Sometimes, my clit will even be sore afterward but I don't have a release. I have this buildup that just dissipates.

Here's my recent mental image that might help. If I were a guy, right before I was about to ejaculate, my penis went soft. I feel like that would be me if I were a guy and I mean this in all seriousness. I don't know what else to do. I've tried not thinking about it, I've tried thinking about it, I've tried tensing my body and not tensing my body. What am I doing wrong?? Has anyone else experienced this?

Along with allowing your body to relax (tensing up after you hit the point of no return can heighten the orgasm) allow your mind to wander in a fantasy. If you try too hard to reach the peak, you will have a hard time getting there. Go with the flow in a fantasized ideal setting. You may find closing your eyes will heighten the fantasy and heighten the sensations. Then let everything go. Guys have to do this too.

He can help too, by realizing when you are getting close and backing it down for a little while, then building up again. If he does this several times in a row and then works on helping you relax and go past the point of no return, you will experience a life changing orgasm.

I don't know what turns you on the most, but if he is good with his hands and your body language, I would suggest that him masturbating you may work the best as he can help build your fantasy by kisses to everywhere on your face, ears, neck, shoulders and breasts while doing some magic with his hands. He should stimulate your clitoris through the hood if you are too sensitive to direct stimulation. His kisses should not be deep, rather fleeting and random. He should brush his lips against the areas instead of kissing some of the times. He can use stiff lips to lightly pinch your ear lobes, your nose, your lips and your nipples. He can use the free hand to occasionally squeeze your butt, your inner thighs, your stomach, your back and your breasts. If and when you get wet, he can use that wetness to lubricate the clitoris and hood and use faster stimulation. Stimulation includes rubbing, rubbing in circles and gentle squeezing.

[chaya]

I can sympathize with your problem. All through my teen years when I masturbated I could get right to the edge but never did have a orgasm. It would build up almost to the point of climax and a random thought would pop into my mind and cut me off without release. Then I was left with a sore clit and feeling guilty for what I was doing.

The first orgasm I ever had was with a man I truly loved and the second time we had sex. I am married to that man now and have multiple orgasms almost every time we have sex.

[Texasred]

The first orgasm I ever had was with a man I truly loved and the second time we had sex. I am married to that man now and have multiple orgasms almost every time we have sex.

Now THAT is a love story!
Good for you.!

[groupieindenial]

You've never had an orgasm via masturbating? Have you tried holding a vibrator to your clit?

[stressed]

The first orgasm I ever had was with a man I truly loved and the second time we had sex. I am married to that man now and have multiple orgasms almost every time we have sex.

What's the secret? Is it the man? Love? What?

I've always said that I'd marry the man who makes me orgasm, but I've given up hoping lol

[groupieindenial]

Yu'll pretty much never orgasm with a partner if you can't get an orgasm via self pleasure. The secret is to know your body, figure out what makes you feel good, and masturbate regularly. THey say that those who masturbate more, have more success at acheiving orgasms during sex. It is true.

[PJhavinfunagain]

I had this problem when I was younger. It was not until I began to mature and had a partner that I felt completely comfortable with and was able to let go of all inhibitions that I was able to go over the edge. The more you can let go the more orgasms you will have. Good luck!

[jns]

Yu'll pretty much never orgasm with a partner if you can't get an orgasm via self pleasure. The secret is to know your body, figure out what makes you feel good, and masturbate regularly. THey say that those who masturbate more, have more success at acheiving orgasms during sex. It is true.

I've brought to multiple orgasms a woman who had never orgasmed before and who had never masturbated before. There are guys skilled enough to do it, but what works with one woman may not work with another. It does help for a woman to know her own body and it is good if she can bring herself to orgasm. In chaya's case, the key was probably mentally how much she was into the sex and how much she loved her soon to be husband. Obviously, he knew what he was doing, too.

stressed, my hope for you is that you find a man that is compatible with you and who can play with your body like a master plays a violin, and, and, and who falls in love with you.

PJ, you described the necessary letting go perfectly.

[CandieBear]

Your too focused on the end result.. enjoy the pleasuring.. lay back close your eyes and imagine completing your task.. or try no focusing on it at all.