[jtb]

Sex is very painful for me. I've only had one other sexual partner before my fiance. I've always been very tight, so sex is painful and not at all enjoyable for me. We use condoms but I still worry about getting pregnant. I'm thinking about going on birth control, but I have a neurological disorder and going on the pill may excel my mild condition.
I'm not at all interested in having sex. I mean, I want to be a sexually active person with my fiance and I want us to have this sexual relationship, but I'm so, so tight! If I don't finish under a few minutes it starts to hurt, and then I'm upset and in tears. He's understanding, and I let him finish by letting him grind me while I'm on my back. But we both acknowledge a sexual relationship is important in a marriage.
I've talked to my gyno last year and she said everything looked as it was supposed to be down there, but she said I have a tilted uterus....Which I admit I didn't remember until just now....So any input? We use lotion and condoms, and try different positions, but they're usually painful. I feel like I only have one day a month in which I want sex, and even then I need to be a little tipsy so my body can relax enough.
The other parts of our relationship are really strong and great, so the sex isn't really a big deal....but still! I want to have sex with my fiance and future husband without having to go through all these hoops for myself.

[GoddessOfLove]

I can't really relate because my vag is pretty much like the sleeve of a wizard. But honestly from what you said... it sounds like you just need to relax. Maybe have a few drinks before you do it and see if you can let your hair down a bit.

[maverick]

Welcome to the forum, jtb. A tilted uterus has the effect of "shortening" the vaginal canal. So you might want to try some positions that do not penetrate quite as deeply. Try spooning or with you lying on your stomach. You might even be able to tolerate doggy or downward dog, as that shifts things around a bit, but again it could make things worse. You will just need to experiment and see. Try using some lube too. That can reduce friction a lot and alleviate the "tightness". It's normal to tense up when something hurts (or you expect it to hurt) but you really need to force yourself to relax. That's a lot easier to say than to do, but it will help. Maybe you are wondering why a guy knows anything about such a topic? Well the wife and I went through a similar period early in our relationship. Lube does help as does relaxation. 25 years later she is still tight. But after a couple of strokes she is just perfect. You will be too. It just takes a while to learn each other's body in a new relationship.

[CandieBear]

Try a glass of wine and focus on relaxing during sex. as cliche as it sounds... close your eyes and imagine those muscles relaxing and not being so tight. The other thing you can do is go to the GYN they actually have instruments that you use daily to "loosen it" or as much as i hate to say it try a dildo. This way its on your terms and you can learn to control muscles and figure out which angle is best for you! Hope that helps!

[waya]

Feels like I've said this a lot but try non-latex condoms in case you're sensitive to latex, makes sex much more painful.

[jtb]

Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate all of it.
Drinking sometimes helps, and I've tried relaxation stuff, everything from massaging the area with lubrication, to basic yoga stuff. It just takes me awhile to warm up to sex. I did that stuff on Thursday and it seemed to help.
These threads are just kinda new to me, so it's a little weird to discuss my sex life with people. But I think sex is so unattractive to me and so tight and painful because I'm a little uptight about sex and the whole tilted uterus thing. If I relax I think/hope a lot of my issues will lessen.