[bunnyrunner]

I have been dating the same guy for about 4 months now and he is perfect. I could spend the rest of my life with this guy and be completely and entirely happy. He's perfect and wonderful in every single way except for one. We're both early 20's, we've already had sex and messed around and stuff, and neither of us are each other's first time. When we have sex, it's wonderful!!! He's amazing and he's always very romantic about everything, very kissy and intimate and it's always "making love" never just banging for the sake of it. All sounds good right?

anyway, the problem is the times we do anything are very few and far between. We are young!! Young guys are supposed to have crazy sex drives right? The guys I've known/dated in the past have been very into sex and like to do it pretty frequently but we can go 3 or 4 weeks and never do anything other than snuggle... which, I do love snuggling but sometimes I'd like to do more!

My most recent problem was last night. I woke up to him "taking care of business" right next to me in bed! I was kind of shocked and didn't know what to do so I just faked sleeping and when he finished he went to the bathroom, cleaned up, came back and snuggled up really close like he does right after sex and not that I didn't enjoy that, it's just that I would have been more than happy to help! What guy do you know laying next to a mostly naked girl who's definitely into him and ready to go would rather just do it himself, esp after 3 weeks of nothing?

I've tried being flirty, dirty, dressing up, dressing down, dropping hints, sending sexy texts... I don't know how else to tell him that what I would like is for him to just get dirty with me! I don't know if he doesn't like doing things with me or if he's shy or embarrassed or what the deal is. It's kind of starting to give me a complex. I've never had a single complaint before but now I just can't figure this guy out! It doesn't matter if he's been drinking or if he's sober or anything, he'd rather just snuggle up and sleep than do anything it seems. ugh... Don't know what to do. Advice?

[LanaBear]

Have you talked to his about this?

[WildChild]

Yeah, start by talking. If it happens again, remove his hand and give him a hand or something else.
He may be of that school of thought that women don't really like sex and he doesn't want to bother you with it. You need to correct this thinking.

[Master Bruh]

Hey Mostly Naked lady bruh

The thing is bruhs will want to handle it themselves because they can do it quick and be done with it while not having to warm up or anything like that. It was probably a sexy dream he had woke up from had morning wood took care of it went back to sleep while not bothering you from your sleep or anything. While he'll keep doing it no matter what, if you want to have more sex...have more sex. Tell him to put a condom on or put one on for him and get to it. No need for flirty dresses and all that just walk up to him pull it out and get to it. Unless he's super busy chances are he wont mind or he doesnt naturally last then he might have to worry about that and not fully satisfying you and might be more reluctant.
But yea talk to him lol

[rcoreyus]

Maybe he just didn't want to bother you - if so, let him know that you are happy to help. Maybe though he isn't that interested in sex with women - this seems true for some men (see other threads here). There are a number of women posting here whose SOs just don't seem to want to have sex with them, even though they masturbate regularly.

[bunnyrunner]

I haven't talked to him about this specifically. It just happened last night. We have talked before about a couple things bc he does things like if I'm helpin' him out, he'll just kick back, put his hands behind his head and cover up his face w a pillow and he's SILENT... it's kind of weird... I can't even tell if he's breathing sometimes he's so quiet. The only way I know he's not just passed out sleeping is he snores when he sleeps. So we talked about that kind of jokingly and he just said he didn't realize he did that but he was sorry but we haven't done anything since then. I'm worried that I scared him off? I don't know how to talk about it... "hey remember when you were doin' your thing and thought I was asleep? well I wasn't and it's makes me sad you don't want to have sex." lol. ugggh. My family does NOT talk about these kinds of things EVER. I learned about how sex worked through friends my junior year of high school! So it's really awkward for me to talk about it with anyone else... I always feel like I'm being gross or rude or something. My mom and I especially are awkward. We just act like no one any where is ever having sex, especially not any one in our family! haha

[bunnyrunner]

Howdy Master Bruh

I'm fine with the quick handling of things! by all means!! And it's very sweet and considerate of him not to want to wake me up. I'm worried about the "just do it" approach though. The other night I pretty much took his clothes off for him and mine and did what I never do (I don't like having to always be in charge) and I just hopped up on top and all I could get out of him was "... I'm really tired... " and that's fine too. sometimes. but EVERY day!? I've tried doing that before and he's just not into it... it really bothers me. Not really sure what to do. He's too nice to instigate anything but I feel like I'm putting him in an awkward position by starting it myself. idk :/
-lady bruh

[bunnyrunner]

Howdy Master Bruh

I'm fine with the quick handling of things! by all means!! And it's very sweet and considerate of him not to want to wake me up. I'm worried about the "just do it" approach though. The other night I pretty much took his clothes off for him and mine and did what I never do (I don't like having to always be in charge) and I just hopped up on top and all I could get out of him was "... I'm really tired... " and that's fine too. sometimes. but EVERY day!? I've tried doing that before and he's just not into it... it really bothers me. Not really sure what to do. He's too nice to instigate anything but I feel like I'm putting him in an awkward position by starting it myself. idk :/
-lady bruh

[Guest]

"I don't know how else to tell him that what I would like is for him to just get dirty with me!" How about just telling him?