[JRod]

Our sex life is amazing. Last night I was a little tired, it had been a long day, and frankly I wasn't in the mood. My gf initiated and had orgasmed and I was taking a long time so I just faked. This never happens for me and now I feel guilty. Should I? Or do I just chalk it up as a rarity and get back in the saddle. Guys-has this ever happened to you?

[pretzel]

Personally, I look at it this way, you weren't in the mood, but your gf was. You took the time to please her and make her feel good. What's wrong with that?

[Guest]

No, being dishonest with the woman I love is not a big priority for me.

Faking, IMO, is not being honest with your partner. Honesty is one of the building blocks to a solid and long lasting relationship.

The fact that you feel guilty about it says a lot (IMO) as that's your conscious talking to you. Listen.

[Caregirl]

I think I'd feel pretty bad if my bf faked it for me, but the fact that you wanted to please her is good. If it happens again maybe you're better off about being honest that you're not in the mood yourself but you'd love to make it all about her

[pretzel]

I think I'd feel pretty bad if my bf faked it for me, but the fact that you wanted to please her is good. If it happens again maybe you're better off about being honest that you're not in the mood yourself but you'd love to make it all about her

I think there in lies a question that more than likely has been discussed but for purposes of the thread and to JRod's situation may help.

I know over the years I've faked orgasm for a myriad of reasons which did include just not being in the mood. However, if your overriding personality trait is one where your partner's pleasure is as important, if not more important, than your own (and that's not to downplay the importance of your own pleasure) would not totally being in the mood and your own orgasm being first and foremost, then is faking an orgasm really being dishonest with oneself? Would being "honest" and telling your partner your either not in the mood or you did it just for her/him create some self doubt that may not exist?

Sometimes we're not always on the same mood level or sexual desire level as our partners on any particular day. But we do things that make them feel good about themselves and the relationship because we care about them.

[waya]

It might be difficult for a woman, particularly if she's inexperienced, to understand why a man wouldn't orgasm during sex. It's not something you really hear about. So, being told that right after she's had an orgasm could be not so good. I would think it best to bring it up outside the bedroom and assure her that it's a normal thing that happens sometimes and that the sex is still enjoyable for you even if you don't orgasm.

[Jim60]

No you shouldn't feel bad.

You looked after her. Strictly it is dishonest, but way down the scale. Not a problem unless it becomes a habit.

[WildChild]

I think it depends on how and why. If there is a problem with sex in the relationship, faking it, by either partner, is a really bad idea. Orgasming during sex is a powerful level of communication and says that this works.

Its funny that various surveys have found that most women do or have at some time, faked it. Virtually all men, however, will swear that a woman has never done so with them. Even when told that virtually all women admit to having faked it at least once, men will still insist - not with them. (I've put this to several men, including the one I'm currently seeing and confirmed this result LOL). This would seem to support the idea that for most men it is important, if only for their own ego, that the woman orgasms. On the flip side, I think very few women are aware that men can or do fake it. My guess is that this is becoming more common as women and men become more aware of women as fully sexual individuals who not only want their own orgasm but want to pleasure the man in their lives.

I agree with Pretzel that sometimes, even if you aren't really into it at the moment, you should willingly gift your partner. Hardly a sacrifice. If you have a good relationship, if it's balanced, this shouldn't be a problem. I've been there on both sides. Its a rare thing for me to turn down sex in a relationship but there have been times when I haven't cum. That's ok, so long as it isn't a regular thing. If I feel like my head just isn't in it, I may just get him off with a bj (pun intended, this is not the same thing as being with a man who wants nothing but bjs and leaves me repeatedly to my own devices). If a man has taken care of a woman and then just lost steam and appologized and been concerned that she would be upset. She should tell him, it happens, next time is his.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's the little white lie, that is told to ensure you don't hurt someone's feeling....hense why it's called a white lie, so in-significant, small, because it's done with love...

Same thing.

However, I agree that sex between the two of you, should be discussed also outside the bedroom, comments of joy, sexiness, pleasure, what you liked, what she liked, general so he/she feels good and understands the partnership, souls connecting, bodies connecting and comments of problems so he/she understands it's not him/her, it's normal or a situation that can occur...

I don't usually write personal stuff on sex Because to me it's personal...However, one thing that is sexy if your not in the mood and you're tired, and she's satisfied is to exit, grab her hand or your own and masterbate to the ending, looking into her eyes... Although some people may disagree with me, view it porn like...But, I find it sexy...

[jns]

Our sex life is amazing. Last night I was a little tired, it had been a long day, and frankly I wasn't in the mood. My gf initiated and had orgasmed and I was taking a long time so I just faked. This never happens for me and now I feel guilty. Should I? Or do I just chalk it up as a rarity and get back in the saddle. Guys-has this ever happened to you?

I don't like the idea of faking it for either party. It gives the other person the idea that everything is OK when it may not be. Ultimately, it is a failure of communications. If you are going to be dishonest with each other, where are you going to draw the line? Are you sure your gf couldn't handle the truth?