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  • wishy0uwerehere
    Member
    • Mar 2011
    • 63

    I can come, but not with him :(

    I've been with my boyfriend for half a year and I love him very much. I have only had 2 partners other than him, and with him sex is incredible...it was so boring with the others, but I love doing it with him. He does whatever I want, and puts my needs before his. It always feels so amazing, however, I've only ever come once. I can come easily when I masturbate and watch porn, but with him it's very difficult. I've gotten close a couple of times, but I can't make it happen. I've been faking it, because he would beat himself up over it if he knew he couldn't get me to come. Since I know I CAN come (through masturbation and once with him) I don't know what to do. The sex is great, so why can't I come all the time?
  • oxy-moron
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2010
    • 551

    Possibly the worst thing you can do is fake it. It will do is reinforce the wrong behaviour.
    Stop watching porn. It is bad bad bad. It will only make reality harder.
    Have you masturbated for him- so he has an idea of what works on you. Get him to play with your labia while you do your thing. If you can come like this it will help release any performance anxiety you are feeling. Get him to talk dirty to you while you are doing it if you are comfortable with it.
    Get into massage before sex.

    Comment

    • irish angel
      Member
      • Mar 2011
      • 15

      What positions do you try? Try girl on top then you can control everything.

      Comment

      • Texasred
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 1216

        Originally posted by irish angel
        What positions do you try? Try girl on top then you can control everything.
        Little secret here: he'll like it too!

        Comment

        • wishy0uwerehere
          Member
          • Mar 2011
          • 63

          yes, we do woman on top a lot. we both love it. that is how i came the one time, and thats how ive come very close many times. and yes, ive stopped watching porn for that reason. i feel like since i know i CAN come, this isnt a big deal. its not like its impossible, i just need to figure out exactly what i want. but i still find it strange that i can make myself come so quickly when masturbating, but during the sex which is really good, it is very difficult

          Comment

          • WildChild
            Banned
            • Sep 2008
            • 14142

            When you masterbate are you using a vibrator? If so that can make it more difficult to respond to the different stimulation with a man.

            Comment

            • wishy0uwerehere
              Member
              • Mar 2011
              • 63

              nope, i just rub my clitoris. this is why i also dont intend on using a vibrator...ever. lol

              Comment

              • wishy0uwerehere
                Member
                • Mar 2011
                • 63

                and that is what frightens me. the sex is SO good, so why cant i come from that?...but i can come from rubbing myself for like 2 minutes?

                Comment

                • wishy0uwerehere
                  Member
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 63

                  i think a lot of times i have a hard time just letting go. he rubs my clit, and sometimes it feels so good that i cant handle it...its too much sensation. so sometimes i just ask him to stop because i dont see it happening. maybe i just need to practice relaxing more?

                  Comment

                  • Guest

                    I will assume that you desire a clitoral orgasm during intercourse? If that's the case, try this; When in basic man on top missionary, have him move up towards your body a bit in order to increase the friction on your clitoral hood and clitoris too. It may help.

                    It may also help to extend foreplay to the point that it brings you to the edge, so you can finish during intercourse.

                    Teaching him to masturbate you helps too, in that he learns the specific area, movement, pressure and speed necessary.

                    I have to ask, as an oral enthusiast, is he into giving you oral?

                    Comment

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