[CateyJ]

Hi everyone, I'm brand new to this site, I only signed up to it because there seemed to be some really helpful responses to problems I had read. I have a problem and I'd appreciate some good advice.
I'm 22 years old and have a non exsistant sex drive. I have been with my current partner for a year and a half. Before him I went pretty off the rails after coming out of a long term relationship. I was at uni and wanted to experience the world before it got real. I had at least 2 "fun buddies" on the go at any one time and set myself up on a string of one night stands over the year between partners (I could really do without any judgement on that if you'd like to hold it in please), the point is, I had a very high libido.
When I started going out with my new partner the sex was great, we couldn't keep our hands off eachother. It was the first year that my S.A.D hadn't affected me during winter. Around the same time as us getting together I was prescribed a contraceptive pill called co-cyprindiol (aka Dianette) one of the side effects is depression and loss of libido. I was prescribed this through sheer vanity as I had acne that was showing no signs of clearing up.
Around September 2010 I began to feel less happy in myself and the sex count went from 7/8 times a week to about 3. I have tried almost everything I can think of between then and now to boost my libido from underwear to even using Spanish Fly (which just makes me feel ill) but now we VERY rarely have sex. We sleep in the same bed everynight but the last time we did anything was 2 weeks ago.
Now I understand that sex is not the be all and end all to a relationship and he has been very understanding and supportive and patient while i sit and beat myself up about it but i just want to feel normal again!
And you see, as supportive and loving as he is, theres a big insecure and paranoid part of me that thinks "if he ain't getting it from me, whats stopping him getting it somewhere else.
Please can someone give me some advice, anything. I just need someone to talk to that isn't my partner, I think ive unleashed more than enough on him.

Thanks in advance.
X

[kristalyn_04]

Hi Catey... firstly there are no judgments on this forum so nobody is going to say anything negative to you about your past sexual experiences. About your problem, are you still taking that pill? It might be a good idea to research different medications that don't have that side effect, and talk to your doctor about it. You have to decide if taking that pill is worth having depression and loss of libido.

[Guest]

Welcome!

This is not a place where judgement of another is accepted. We all have things about our pasts that we would change if we could. We can't, that's why it's called history.

I agree with kristalyn04 in that the first thing that ocurred to me was, under a doctor's guidance, weasning yourself off of the medication and living with acne and/or if you're also using the meds to prevent pregnancy, change to another type of pill whose treatment effects do not include depression/low libido.

As for 'Spanish Fly' and all other like products, please consider staying away from those too, as you can never be 100% certain as to what they contain and biologically speaking, I'm not aware of any that work.

[oxy-moron]

Hi
I suppose you already know that SAD is linked to low vitamin D. There is strong evidence that Acne is also linked to low vitamin D.
Try changing your contraceptive for one without as many side effects and try going onto Vitamin D3 drops.

[Guest]

OM is right about the vitamin D. The easiest and perhaps the "best" way to make your body produce more vitamin D is to get out in the sun.

Expose your skin, like arms and legs to it for 15 - 20 minutes at a time whenever you can. The bright light from the sun is also directly linked to an increase in happiness through a message sent by each optic nerve to your brain.

To take advantage of this natural benefit go outside on very bright days, the kind of days that make you squint and reach for sunglasses. DO NOT look up at or in the direction of the sun, instead just remain in its "brightness" for about 15 minutes. The bright light gets to the back of each eye (optic nerve) which sends a signal to the brain to release more "happy" chemical (I think it's Dopamine).

Thanks for the reminder OM.

[WildChild]

Natural sunlight is a great way to get vitamin D but many people's bodies are a bit out of kilter and don't create it at the levels needed - especially as we mature. Plain old vitamin D supplement is not really accessible to the body. To be effective you need to take vitamin D3 and you need to take a good quantity. I take 8000 iu a day and feel so much better!

[Guest]

Like almost everything else, too much of a good thing can have the opposite effect.

Perhaps some further study, done by you, for you, is in order.

[CateyJ]

That would be the first thing I'd do if I lived anywhere other than the North-East of England We get mostly rain and fog... I did spend a lot of time in the sun in September 2010 when all of this started as I was in Portugal.
My Doc has told me about a special light thats available to combat S.A.D. but it costs thousands of pounds for a decent one and therapy isn't available on the NHS.

[ItsASecret]

My Doc has told me about a special light thats available to combat S.A.D. but it costs thousands of pounds for a decent one and therapy isn't available on the NHS.

There are special devices as well as special light bulbs that act in the same way and those bulbs are different in that they emit light in units of "lux". A therapy bulb emits about 10,000-30,000 lux because that is the amount that average daily sunlight or direct sunlight emits....does it work? it is up for debate in science but some people think it does.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/34801-black-dog.html

The above thread is closed, as it is the same thread as this one CateyJ....replies however are within the link

CW