[caster]

Two questions:
How many here take the time to pleasure their spouse without getting or expecting gratification in return?

My wife enjoys doing me, and I enjoy receiving. And while I thorougly enjoy doing her she doesn't like it. No matter what we do or try she honestly doesn't like it, but won't give me any explaination other than she prefers me in her.
She prefers intercourse to any other stimulus. Anything I do to her is merely foreplay to intercouse. But she likes to use a toy on her clit to reach her O during intercourse.
She also does not masturbate.

Not that I've done a poll or anything but I've never met another woman that doesn't like to Orgasm unless it's during intercourse. Any others out there?

[Guest]

I get quite a bit of gratification when I know that I am pleasing my SO and there are never any expectations or strings to my pleasing her.

I can't speak on the orgasm only during intercourse, sorry.

[ItsASecret]

Yeah I do no reciprocation. I am fine with giving my bf a bj or whatever without him needing to do anything to me. If he feels good then mission accomplished. It is not like he expects me to do things but I would just rather he ask me for things because I honestly do not need anything for myself. He will ask "do you need anything?" and I will almost always say "no I'm good". For me it is because nothing works, he can give me oral for 6 hours and I will be no different than the start...the soft feeling of a tongue or lips does nothing, zero zilch nada. Same with touching, no rub combination causes any special arousal feeling. So I simply do not ask for anything and will say we should have sex instead because for me that is when I can at least feel something. So I prefer him in me on almost any occasion. He is still free to do whatever he wants if he wants to though, I will not stop him I just will not tell him or ask him to do anything very often.

As for orgasm, I rarely do. It feels great when it happens but it is not a required thing for me. When I do orgasm it is because I am rubbing myself during sex. Will not experience an orgasm from oral (too soft), and touching requires too much pressure for too much time, I have never even come close to orgasm with that. Vibrators, on the clit does not work, but in me makes it go a lot faster but I rarely use one...maybe once or twice a year. And I hardly if ever masturbate.

[waya]

I'm kinda the same way. I really like internal stimulation. Cunnilingus is enjoyable, manual stimulation is enjoyable, but there's nothing as satisfying to me as the man I love inside me with a full body press and being able to watch his face (if I can keep my eyes open through the pleasure.) Maybe she's just a g-spot girl like me.

[LilahX]

If she's using a vibe on her clit then she masturbates. Just b/c its during penetration doesn't suddenly make it not masturbation.

I've known of someone who wouldn't let her husband give her oral and insisted she orgasm from intercourse only so that's all he ever got. He resents this greatly as not only is it boriing to do the same old thing every time, but it puts great pressure on him to get her there only that one way.

If you're happy to comply with her wishes, and she's happy then there's no problem but the fact that you're here asking about it makes me think it's not totally ok with you and that you'd like more. Unfortunately if she's not willing talk about it or try and think about why she has that attitude then its doubtful things will ever change.

[waya]

Maybe she doesn't care for it all that much. It's not unheard of.

[Texasred]

The OP should be thankful; his wife could be like mine - the exact, diametrical opposite of his...

[kira]

I mostly just prefer penetration with my husband even though it doesn't give me noteworthy orgasms. Fingers are an ok warmup but I'm going to get sore and he's going to get cramps before it really gets anywhere. I've been masturbating for majority of my life and my own fingers can't get me anywhere near orgasm. Life was very very frustrating before vibrators. Oral is slightly better but it's still not going to get anywhere close to causing an orgasm and I've gotten infections from oral bacteria before so I don't prefer much of it most of the time. I do like him to use toys on me but that's mostly because my sex drive is so much higher that he cannot have sex nearly as many times as I want it. I usually end up slightly sore either from too much friction on my urethra opening (leads to urination problems sometimes) or hitting my cervix and I don't think any amount of explaining anatomy is going to help because he can't feel it so sometimes I don't want that either. When I use toys I don't move them in and out. I wiggle them around until I get the right spot and then I just increase and decrease pressure. That way there is no friction or chance of it sliding in to the wrong spot. I started masturbating young enough though that I had no preconceived notion of what I should do such as moving things in and out. If I had I might have given up because of the discomfort and lack of orgasm that would cause. The best feeling with the least problems is penetration and him finishing and semen hitting my cervix causes good contractions even if it isn't an orgasm. They've found the cervix will dip up and down when exposed to semen. Probably to increase the odds of pregnancy. Some women can really feel that and some can't. Some find surgery that removes the cervix to have a huge impact on pleasure from sex and others don't notice. Everyone is an individual. For some the only good way to get pleasure is actual intercourse.

[mandygarratt]

I have had a hysterectomy and have no cervix and sex is great

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It depends to me what you are referring to "Pleasing"...

I am feeling like people are referring to oral in your question....

I can say that my fiance is not selfish his whole thought pattern is about me, but I've learnt what he likes and so, i ensure that's in it, as well until, the finally....

I don't expect, he doesn't expect, it's called equality and respect in our household.

CW