[WildChild]

Start with talking to him. Tell him what you want and need and remember - Guys Don't Understand Hints.

[Guest]

And you're ready to SETTLE for all of the things you wrote in your post directly above this one? Really?

It's NOT going to get any better than it is a this moment...THINK about that.

If you're NOT happy now, why on earth would you consider going forward with this or any other man?

You don't sound like a loving couple IMO you sound like friends with benefits.

BTW, how does one move in together in a college campus dorm room?

[Ashlee T.]

I agree with Seeker here.

Where's the love? Where is the passion? Where is the respect and admiration for each other? Where's the excitement and desire?

It's common I think when couples start living together to struggle keeping the spark alive. Suddenly, that person becomes "real" when you're living with them. My guess is #1, you're experiencing a lack of sex drive due to hormonal birth control. Just because it didn't cause that when you got it, does NOT mean it won't cause it now. and #2, you're experiencing a lack of sex drive due to not feeling loved, appreciated, respected etc. You're feeling like everything is about sex, and that can be a HUGE turnoff.

[dl51891]

I have talked to him about it and he says that it has to do with his weight or something.

[dl51891]

"You don't sound like a loving couple IMO you sound like friends with benefits.

BTW, how does one move in together in a college campus dorm room? "

thats how I feel our relationship is going. he's an upper classmen and i live in year round housing and i really dont have an RA.

[WildChild]

Most campuses let you do some moving around once you get past your freshman year, that's kind of a non issue.
You do sound more like FWB. Why not sit down with him in a quiet non-threatening space and talk? Explain to him that you need more connection, more nonsexual touching as well as sex. Share with him what you are experiencing and that you are looking at changing BC methods to see that will help but that you also have the very human need to feel loved and cared about and that your loving and caring is wanted and appreciated.
The worst that can happen is that he won't get it and you'll part company, you may be headed that way already. There is school of thinking that I support, that at the least when you find a relationship isn't going to work long term, you should at least leave it with both of you being better people or lovers than when you started it. Helping him understand better what a woman needs in a relationship will be to your benefit and if the two of you go your separate ways you will be sending a better loving man out into the world.

[Guest]

If that's truly how you feel, then dump this dog and find a man who loves you for you and all that you bring to a relationship.

Harsh perhaps, but accurate?

[oxy-moron]

Hi -I am a man by the way.

Relationships can drift into poor health like an unkept garden. You thing if the love is true it will magically work out OK. Unfortunately that is untrue.
Firstly do some research on Oxytocin- it is the relationship hormone - it is the hormone behind all human bonding. It is weakened by testosterone and strengthened by estrogen. When a male has sex he is rewarded by a 500% boost in Oxytocin.
A female will get a boost form strokes or cuddles or massage or nurturing.
When a relationship gets to the state yours is in someone needs to make the first steps towards getting things on track. Tell him you want regular cuddle nights- At least one date a week and if he does not deliver there will be no sexual interest from you. Do your research as well.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Loveless life ...

It's obvious to me why the sex is dead, because you don't have any passion in the relationship.

That means real love, real caring for each other, not just you or a one sided relationship.

Kissing is an important part of the relationship as is cuddling and know that he really does love you deep down in a way that makes you want to cry its so strong.

You probably feel that way underneath but for some reason are living in denial of the truth because ?

[WildChild]

Each person, in each relationship, must determine for themselves what will best serve their own happiness. The members of this forum can each only offer their opinions based on the often limited information presented by the poster.

Each reader brings to this forum their interpretation of what is posted based on their own experiences, beliefs, observations and prejudices. One person's experiences may have brought them to feel very strongly about any possibility of cheating or of a partner ignoring their partner. Another's experiences may have shown them the value a particular behavior change or action to create a positive change in the relationship.

The bottom line is that we don't ever know the full story and often over a series of posts as more information is gleaned, our views of a situation may change and it is up to the poster to sift through responses and examine their needs and situation and make their own choices.

The moderators to best of our ability and very human judgement will not tolerate incivility. Unless source backed facts with citations are being presented, opinions are opinions only.