[Shayboogie12]

Well im 23 and my vagina is really tight and when my boyfriend try to put his penis in it hurts really bad......could this be because i havent had sex in about 4 months?




somebody please help!!!

[Guest]

Welcome! This is a great place.

Could be from a lot of things...Stress, pressure to achieve certain results, being tense and not relaxed enough for intimacy, not nearly enough foreplay/lubrication, etc., etc.

I would suggest spending much more time in foreplay, as it serves two primary purposes; 1. Gets you both relaxed and in tune with each other, and 2. prepares your bodies, especially women's bodies, for the act of intimacy. While there is no exact time frame, I would allow/plan on spending 30 minutes or more in foreplay. If your partner can't wait that long then you need to explain to him that it takes your body that long to get ready...and good things come to those who wait!

Also try and leave your expectations or desired results at the door and just let your intimacy take you where it may. A lot of people have preconceived expectations about results and what they need to achieve and doing so can really mess things up.

If you have no expectations, other than spending more time exploring each other's bodies during foreplay, then it's all good during intimacy!

[jns]

Lubrication always helps. Foreplay always helps. You having an orgasm or several before he tries penetration is something that will also help. Can he bring you to orgasm with his hands or orally?

[BasketCase]

Lube, and forplay. WILL MAKE BIG DIFFERENCES THERE. The vagina expands when you are aroused. The more aroused you are the more lubricated you will become naturally. If you are trying foreplay and it's still to tight a fit. You can always buy over the counter lubrication. To help things along. If he is a large man then you may need to try different positions. Some positions open the vagina more than others.

[SaharaJim]

Just guessing here; but at 23..I would be willing to bet that your boyfriend's engine is "racing" and yours hasn't even "turned over" yet. Most guys in their 20's are testosterone driven and even when "well-meaning" forget about their partner's needs. Tell him it's just like everything else for a gentleman: LADIES FIRST! If he "slows down' and stimulates you to orgasm first- I think the pain problem will "go away". Plus nothing will stimulate him more and make him feel more manly than pushing his partner over the edge!Try telling him the joke about the biker and his first date with the locksmith's daughter. Over the dinner she said:" i watch how a man uses my key to unlock my door when we get back to my place after a date. if he just 'jams it in' he is a lousy lover; if he misses the keyhole he is a clumsy lover, if he slides it in smooothly he is probably a 'good' lover" Said the Biker; " i always like to lick the lock first". )

[kristalyn_04]

Try telling him the joke about the biker and his first date with the locksmith's daughter. Over the dinner she said:" i watch how a man uses my key to unlock my door when we get back to my place after a date. if he just 'jams it in' he is a lousy lover; if he misses the keyhole he is a clumsy lover, if he slides it in smooothly he is probably a 'good' lover" Said the Biker; " i always like to lick the lock first". )

I want a date with that biker.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Yes like others are saying its preparation before penile penetration, without that your going to be dry and well it just gets worse because pain makes you clamp up.

Spend a lot more time on things that turn you on, like kissing and cuddling, and make very sure you are dripping wet before he enters you.

Other wise it will go from bad to worse.

Nip it in the bud, so to speak.

[Trying Hard]

(I want a date with that biker :-)

Jesus Christ! Take my dates keys and open their doors for them?!
It never even crossed my mind; perhaps it would be too invasive.
I do open car doors for them, walk on the street side of sidewalks,
help them with their chairs when getting up or sitting down,
hold doors open for them.
I also give my seat on the bus to old ladies;
never got lucky with those, though… :- )

[randomguy2011]

Seems like good advice so far. Use lube and maybe you should try being on top so you can control the penetration.