[innocent_eyes]

Hi Im completely new to this but have an embarrassing problem and I need some help.
Im currently in a new relationship and started getting physical a few weeks ago. We have great communication and have already talked about this problem but felt I needed other peoples insight.
Basically during intercourse my boyfriend looses his erection and he says he thinks its because its just too wet down there and he cant feel anything. He approached the topic perfectly and although I was initially hurt in that I felt self conscious he immediately made me feel comfortable by telling me he loves it like that but just doesnt know why its happening.
Its happened a few times now( used hand and oral and he was fine) so Im thinking its definately because im too wet.
Im beginning to feel paranoid that hes going to go off me and he is frustrated because he feels he cant finish and satisfy me so please help. Does anyone have any insight or tips to help me with this problem? Has it happened to anyone else?

[Guest]

My SO gets so wet, I could go swimming... We have to share intimacy on a very absorbent, 100% cotton terrycloth towel or we/she will soak through everything including the mattress. Believe me when I say, first hand, that it beats the alternative of being too dry.

IMO - the extent of how wet you get has little or nothing to do with his ability to get/keep/or maintain an erection. If it does, then I have been very lucky as it has NEVER had any impact on me.

There is much more to making love then just intercourse. What are you trying to accomplish during intercourse? How important is it to you and/or him that he ejaculates while inside of you? This is NOT a PROBLEM...it is a CHALLENGE, at best, that can be overcome. DO NOT let it get in your head.

I believe in putting my partner's needs first, so I would suggest that he bring you to orgasm at least once (the more the merrier) first. Then you/he can focus on his needs. Have you tried to manually or orally stimulate him to the point of getting him close then having him enter you to ejaculate?

Have you thought that maybe, it's not because you're too wet, but because your expectations are too high? Pressure to perform, expectations or stress from either ("I have to make my girl orgasm or I have failed") can shorten a man's erection time quickly. So perhaps, during intercourse, he thinks to himself that he's not "doing his job" good enough, fast enough, etc. to make you happy and that causes him to lose his erection. Do you let him know, during intercourse, that he is pleasing you? Verbally? Moans? Other clues?

If I were you, I would NOT focus on intercourse and throw out any expectations you may have about intercourse and spend some time getting to know each other's bodies. Some people would call that foreplay...I don't call it anything cause it is so much more than that to me. My "very wet" SO and I often get naked and just go exploring to acquaint or re-acquaint ourselves with each other's bodies and all the "little sweet spots" that each of us have.

Often, we are so blown away by all of the play (exploration) before and the orgasms that occur that we don't even get to intercourse and if we do...woo hoo!

DO NOT feel hurt. DO NOT let it get in your head. See it as a CHALLENGE and NOT a problem. Work together on helping your partner get/keep/and maintain an erection. Spend more time exploring/enjoying each other's naked bodies.

Buy some 100% cotton terrycloth towels...

[WildChild]

Do a search. This topic has been posted many times. You are not alone in this concern.

[randomguy2011]

IMO - the extent of how wet you get has little or nothing to do with his ability to get/keep/or maintain an erection. If it does, then I have been very lucky as it has NEVER had any impact on me.

Nailed it! He may be unaware or not willing to accept the fact that they problem might be something other than you. My GF is extremely wet and i've often gotten done with sex with both of my upper thighs very wet. Never ever was it ever anything but fantastic feeling. I'm not sure what exactly is making him say that.

[innocent_eyes]

Thanks for your help.
Ive never had this problem before, and I dont think im that wet. I mean maybe a small bit more than average but nothing major. He told me its never happened to him before either so did think maybe he just wanted that attracted to me anymore. My aim is to please him so I want to make it enjoyable for him and try and help the situation.
Do you have tips on how to keep him hard and aroused? Would love to do something to make him go weak. Think I just need to do something to restore my confidence, as it is a huge knock to the ego when a guy goes soft. Any girl immediately thinks its because of her.

[maverick]

In my male mind, there is no such thing as too wet. Personally, I regard wetness as an indication that my pertner is really into it. That is a huge turn-on for me. A man losing his erection during passionate sex is not likely to be the female's fault. (It may not be his fault either.) Several things are possibilities. If he masturbates too frequently, he may not be sufficiently "recovered" to complete the act. He may have become so use to the intense stimulation from masturbation or oral that the relatively less intense stimulation of a well-lubricated vagina is not enough. If this is the case, simply stopping masturbation will clear this us. Anxiety, stress, alcohol, some prescription drugs, low testosterone, or other medical factors can contribute. You are correct in that you may need to restore his confidence. Continue to show him your love and do not make a big deal out of this unless it persists. One way that you might help to stimulate him is to caress his balls as he has sex with you. That can be very stimulating to many men and may be all he needs to be pushed over the edge. Some positions are more conducive to this than others. Speaking of which, have you tried different positions? Different positions can offer more stimulation to him and the view of you riding cowgirl might in and of itself be a great visual stimulation for him. (Of course, if he is a butt man, doggy might be best.) Personally, I find missionary and doggie to offer the most stimulation... but people are different.

So there are a few suggestions for you. Don't let this affect your ego. That will only cause more problems and from what you have written, you sound like a wonderful, caring lover. He is lucky to have you.

Best wishes and good luck!

[oxy-moron]

Have to agree with the other guys that too wet does not make it hard to maintain an erection. Try Seeker_Advice tips. Get your hands busy.
Try doing foreplay on him before the act.
Start with a massage and work your way up to talking dirty to him when you are dong the business. Take control.

[Guest]

If I were you, as I stated previously, I would manually stimulate him using your hand(s) until just before he ejaculates, then have him insert his penis so he can ejaculate inside of you.

Do NOT allow this to get into your head. It is NOT a YOU problem. IF anything, it's a HIM problem that needs to be worked on together.

Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl are two positions where you're in control.

You wanna please him? Take control.

If he's a regular masturbator the "firm grip" most men use cannot be replicated by most vaginas. Ask him to stop masturbating for a while, like a few weeks, while you continue to share intimacy, so he gets use to ONLY the feeling of you and your vagina and not the vice grip of his own hand.

RE-read Maverick's post above...he had some great thoughts/ideas/suggestions and I want to be sure that you didn't miss them. NOr was I trying to steal his thunder...

[innocent_eyes]

Thanks everyone!!
Meeting him this weekend so going to try yer tips and hopefully it will help. Look forward to trying them anyway

[Texinator]

he says he thinks its because its just too wet down there

The dummy is trying to divide by zero. Tell him to knock it off. Women don't get "too wet." If anything, he should take your wetness as a compliment, because it is a sign of your arousal.

If the balloon deflates during sex... that's on him, not you.