[BFC]

Hi
Look up informational sites by googling reuniting porn or Your brain on porn.
I know this may sound strange but it might pay to get his dopamine levels sorted out as a priority.
Dopamine provides the motivation behind behaviour.
Try getting some good fish oil capsules into his and your daily diet.
Do some research on the health sites into dietary fats and the impact on brain health and behaviour.
Good luck- I suspect you would be better off with someone else but that is your choice.

Interestingly we did recently add fish oils to his diet. I'm vegetarian, I take flaxseed, but have been for a long time. His is new. I'd be thrilled if it helps.

[BFC]

The escalation could easily just be boredom with the usual porn. You've mentioned that he's been like this since 14 (and I'll guess that's at least 10 years) so things just aren't as exciting and now what seems like escalation could just as easily be trying to find something new that he hasn't seen before.

And I do agree, hopefully therapy will address these issues.

He's 30 now. The porn has been escalating for years (hetero, tranny, gay). It's escalation beyond porn that spurred him to coming out as bi. Then my research led to a forwarded link that helped him identify as an addict. Then he contacted a specialist in that area and has started treatment. He is actively trying, I just feel the need to protect my heart. I'll feel the fool if I stick around for months or years of treatment to have him doing things I don't want to think about in adult movie stores back rooms. It's very hard to trust again.

[BFC]

Further, as he has not been indulging in porn for weeks (well, at least lots less), he is beginning to have a more normal response to me. And life in general. It frustrates him though, so hopeful that the therapist can help him come to terms with it. He got all upset with himself because he was rubbing my back on a night we weren't going to make love, and got all turned on (so we did, I told him he didn't need to feel bad about being turned on by me). He's been numbed by it for so long, that he's having a hard time with normal reactions.

I have to say, I love it. I always thought he just had a low libido, but I am finding he's just been numbing it. As a teen it was embarrassing, and the porn kept it under control. But now it's wonderful to have him be so reactive (like most of my exes), and if he can stay "clean" I can only see improvement for our sex life. But he's got to fight all his demons first, and I worry.
A lot.

[oxy-moron]

Google Dr Budwigs research into getting better access of Flax oil into cells, She was nominated for 7 Nobel prizes.
She used Low fat dairy products to transport Fax oil. There is how to info on youtube.
Nobel Prize nominee Dr. Johanna Budwig suggests that EFAs have been helpful in treating addictions to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and sex-and-violence patterns. EFAs enable a person to manage stress better: nerve and brain functions stabilize, and the electric currents across the brain’s cell membranes increase, inducing a person to feel calmer and more focused.