[ren_07]

I'm sorry if this was asked previously. I searched around and couldn't find anything but I find it hard to believe no one else has this question lol

Anyways, how long should a girl wait to have sex when she begins dating someone?

And I ask this because I can't seem to get it right. I know it's different for every situation. So maybe could you describe to me your situation/relationship and how long you waited?

[kristalyn_04]

There is no magic number. It's when the time feels right for both of you, just let things progress naturally. What makes you say you "can't seem to get it right"?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

View the guys you are dating...If they are ditching you because you had sex with them, be it the first night/date, the second, fifth, then that's all they were after.

How you tell? Is how much they really want to know about you, not sexually, you.....

[oxy-moron]

If you want them as keepers make them wait. How long?-until they have worked out that you value yourself.
I am a man by the way.
Men are sub-consciously going to evaluate you as a mother and if it was easy to get you in bed they will think another guy could easily get you in bed. They would not then have confidence that any future child was theirs.

I know this sounds bad but guys think- easy come- easy go.

[ren_07]

Well, I've tried to go with when it "feels right." Sometimes I try to wait until a man has committed and asked me to be their gf, but I'm not sure that's right to do?

And when I say "I can't get it right," I mean I've tried putting it off, tried doing it when it felt right, done it right sooner than later, and the relationships have yet to turn into something meaningful, even if they seem to be going that direction. My main problem is I had long-term relationships in HS that carried into college without sex bc I was saving myself, then ended up losing it to someone I just hooked up with bc I was sick of being a virgin/hurting from a cheating lover who I never slept with. I'm completely okay with this, but unfortunately I now have no idea how to incorporate sex into a real relationship the proper way.

[ren_07]

If you want them as keepers make them wait. How long?-until they have worked out that you value yourself.

I really appreciate this insight and your response as a man. How will I know when they've valued me? It can be hard to tell, bc they'll wine and dine me, contact me constantly, go out of their way to see me and spend time with me, then when things get physical, it burns out whether it's been a few weeks or a few months.

[kristalyn_04]

Relationships that don't work out aren't usually a result of WHEN you have sex. More often than not, it's a compatibility issue, which would have surfaced regardless of when you decided to have sex. So it has nothing to do with that, it was simply because they were not the right person for you.

[oxy-moron]

It is going to vary from man to man- however there are going to be other factors at play.
Are you choosing men because of their looks.
If they are good looking the chances are higher that they will be superficial.
If you are good looking you will be able to attract more superficial men.
It is almost like a penalty.
Same applies for the opposite sex.
Look for self effacing humour and someone who likes to touch you. ( but not in a manipulative salesman kind of way)
Good luck.