[simply.arie]

I just got done reading another post from another lady on here. My question is along the same line and I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me..
So I have only had sex with one man and it's been about a year since we have been together. My question is, I feel like I am never in the mood. I feel like he always has to get things going and turn me on. But once we start I love it, I just have no idea why I can't seem to want to do anything sexual. I thought maybe it was him but it's not, I love him and he's such a great guy and i don't crave anything sexual at all and that is my biggest question!! Why? And we have fought in the past and stuff but things are good now, so I am just very confused!
I'm changing my birth control I thought maybe that was it so we'll see. But if anyone has any ideas or advice let me know!

[oxy-moron]

Birth control is always the best place to start.
Also make sure there is lots of physical contact going on in the relationship. Touching, cuddles and massage.
This type of activity should make you interested in having more intimacy with him.
Intimate behaviour causes intimate feelings. - Intimate feelings cause Intimate behaviours- Intimate behaviour causes intimate feelings.
A self feeding cycle!
It doesn't happen by magic- make it happen.

Good luck

[WildChild]

Chemical birth control seems to work as much by killing the woman's desire as it does by preventing conception. Talk to your health care provider and see what other options you have.

[simply.arie]

Alright! So it is normal to feel this way?.. and I will do more physical touching
But is ALL birth control a killer for woman's sexual desire?..

[ItsASecret]

But is ALL birth control a killer for woman's sexual desire?..

Nope, they are not designed in any way to purposely kill sexual desire. On the box it will say "may increase or decrease sexual desire" in order to cover any symptom that could happen. Taking birth control does not automatically mean you are doomed for sexual desire, it simply means if you have a bad side effect with one brand there are countless other ones to try out.

[Guest]

My wife was on birth control and it killed her sex drive and now that she has been off of it for a year or so, she still has no desire until things get heated between us. She said that she never even thinks about sex at all. I wonder about it all as I sit here and hear of all you Ladies that seem to have such drive and vigor in the bedroom and all the things you are so willing to do with your boyfriends and husbands. It makes me feel like I'm missing out on some really good times with my wife. I can say that I'm even a bit jealous of the men in your lives. Nothing works for my wife to get her to the point where she is so worked up that she can't control herself. God, how I pray for that!

[anne100]

It may not be just birth control though. A ton of woman actually need physical stimulation to become aroused and begin persuing their partner. Like other people said, increase physical touch in the relationship, hugging and holding hands are a great start.
You can initiate foreplay without being already "turned on" anyway. When its a good time just start kissing him or touching him. Pretty soon your body will react and so will his.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you do enjoy sex once it has started so you just have to get over that little starting bump, plus if you initiate at the same time on a regular bases (For example right after waking up) over time your body may treat it as a habit and automatically wake up ready to go!

[simply.arie]

I will start my new birth control and hopefully the desire will return! and I will continue to have plenty of physical touching! And I will start doing physical activity on a regular bases!
I wish you luck MarkT!

[Guest]

Thank you, but I think I know where I will always be in this situation. Still doing housework and got physical one time. Kisses are even dropping off now. Lucky to get a kiss and a hug when she leaves for work. Feeling like maybe she just has no desire for me or I turn her off visually. Oh well, I always have my tractor, truck and tools to play with-
Putting a toilet in the garage and have a sink to hook up, I'm thinking Man Cave with a cot -

[simply.arie]

haha I'm sorry MarkT! What I realized.. was that there was deeper feelings in my old relationship with this guy that I didn't realize I had until I was out of the relationship. I never wanted to do stuff with him because I really was not as attracted to him as I thought I was.. and we would always fight and argue which turned me off even more. I am with a new guy now and to be honest.. I cant get enough of him...
now I'm not saying that your woman feels the way I did.. but I would sit down and have a nice long talk and get all the feelings out in the open.. cause if you guys barely kiss.. that can't be healthy for the relationship.
I wish you luck