[AprilC]

So my boyfriend and I don't have sex very often because we live 3 hours away from each other. When we do see each other, we generally have sex once or twice. When the sex is initiated, it generally hurts on entrance, but I chalk this up to not getting any for up to month at a time. But after a while, even with lubrication, I start to get really sore. It almost feels like friction burn, and I have to stop completely. He always ends up giving me oral sex and I orgasm but I can never get him to that point when I perform it so I don't bother (this sounds wrong, is it?) But anyways, we try multiple different positions but this happens every time and I just feel bad that he never finishes. Has anyone else experienced this? I don't know what is causing it or what I can do. Also, we've tried different condoms, and the latex/non latex doesn't make a difference. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I just want to have a good sex life with my boyfriend. *so frustrated at this point*

Thanks!

[waya]

Have you had this problem before and how well-matched are you size-wise?

[oxy-moron]

Hi
Something that comes to mind is that if a BJ is not working he may have caused his Penis to be conditioned to rough stimulation by the way he Masturbates.
If he is away from you for a while he may be doing it a lot too.
Get him to change his technique to thumb and first finger only while he is away form you.
It will take a lot longer at first but he will adapt- also nothing for the last week before he sees you.
Good luck.

[anne100]

Have you tried different types of lube? I know some people have reactions to certain types of lube even if they are non flavoured and such.
You could also try using a vibrator between seeing each other but Im not sure if this will actually help depending on what the actual cause is.
Also, pain during sex could be caused by STI's but simply getting testing could help clear away any of those worries. When was the last time you so a gyno? If it was not within the last 3 years its recommended you go in anyway.

[AprilC]

Um, size wise, I think we're well matched. We've been together 3 years and this has been going on for a little over a year (I've been living far from him almost a year). We've been having sex for about 2 and half of those three years. The guy before me was pretty small and we only dated a few months so this definitely never happened.

As far as the BJ not working, I honestly think it's a technique issue. I've never been amazing at it, but I've gotten him close a couple of times I'm just...shy when it comes to that. Maybe shy is not the answer, but I just don't particularly enjoy semen. I know that sounds a little odd putting it that way but it's the truth.

An STD is not the problem, or shouldn't be. I went to the gyno almost two weeks ago and everything came back normal. He has herpes, but we always use a condom and he hasn't had a breakout since long before we were together. I try to get tested for that every couple of years JIC but didn't get one this year due to the fact that I'm going to a college campus doctor for my yearly visit. But the lube thing, we used KY for a while, but we've now been using "Wet". I like it better because it's water based and isn't as sticky. But that might be the issue. Hmmm

[AprilC]

We haven't really discussed his masturbation habits...not exactly sure how to bring that one up to him.

[oxy-moron]

Ask for a show. You can reciprocate. You can see how rough he is.
Sometimes a very effective BJ is just a wet hand job with the mouth providing saliva and visual effects that make it look like a BJ. ie The mouth is there but the wet hand is doing most of the work.