[tennis8]

I have recently started dating a new guy who has had issues with being open and honest with me about his past. His ex girlfriend was in contact with me a few weeks ago and I found out some very upsetting news. She told me that my current boyfriend had given her HPV, the strain that caused precancerous lesions that she had removed from her cervix. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had slept with her less than a month before becoming sexually active with me. I asked him to get an STD test before I had unprotected sex with him but unfortunately HPV does not show up on these tests. We have had unprotected sex many times throughout our relationship as well as oral sex. The first time he had slept with his ex was over two years ago and I do know that HPV can sometimes clear up by two years of contracting it. I just want to know what my odds are of having it and what I should do. We have only been dating for 3 months and within the first month of dating I had my annual pap test which was normal. How likely is it that I have HPV now? Should I act as if I have it and continue to have unprotected sex with him? Should I abstain from sex entirely? He claims he didn't know anything about this std and there is a possibility that she got it from someone else. How long does it take for the lesions to develop after contracting hpv? Is there a possibility she caught it within the last 3 months with someone new? I am just so upset about this situation and it is really straining our relationship. If he had been honest with me about other things in his past I wouldn't be doubting him so much when he said he had no idea. If he did know about it but didn't tell me, should I forgive him? She says he knew but she is also his ex girlfriend...

Someone just tell me what to do!!!

[WildChild]

These questions are probably best addressed to a health care professional. There are over a dozen types of HPV, in many cases they will resolve without any problems. It is probably a good idea to get tested, if only to put your mind at ease. If you are exclusive and having unprotected sex then if he carries it, you've most likely got it. To quit having sex with him at this point is really closing the barn door after the horse has bolted.

You may never know if he knew. You may never know where she got it - if she's got it. All you can do is find out if you have it and proceed from there.

[FortunsFoole]

I will say first that most women actually do come into contact with HPV at some point in their life and never know it. It can also lay dormant for awhile before showing up as an abnormal pap. My own experience with it, I had it show up 2 years into my marriage and had resolved itself by the repeat pap & biopsy 6 months later. Most strains will resolve themselves, some others cause issues you are already aware of... all you can really do is call your doctor, ask about when they would like to test you again.. and keep up on your regular visits.

It's really up to you whether you want to continue to have unprotected sex with him or not. If he really did give it to her/get it from her it wouldn't be surprising if you had it(it may not be detected for awhile yet though). It's just a matter of when it might show up and how. If you keep up on regular visits it shouldn't cause any major issues.