[rosekitten]

Had you considered the fact that she may be shy, and that the whole thing is awkward to her? You mentioned originally that she was very conservative. While she may have ordered them with the best intentions, the fact is people don't change that quickly (especially when it comes to sex). How about instead of being mad/assuming she's just masturbating behind your back, you just drop it? If she wants to change, she will over time, but not if her husband is uppity about the whole thing, and is irritated that his sex life isn't more "fun." Even if you think you're hiding your feelings very well, it's likely that you aren't and your wife is picking up on the irritation. Let it go, if she comes around great, and if she doesn't, well, it's really no different than when you got together, is it?

[Tod121]

Good reply and thanks! To be honest her being shy wasnt really on the top of the list (as you would have gathered) but I didnt encourage her to initially rent naughty films or buy a porn DVD, I had got used to her not being that interested so had no expectations or demands. As she bought the DVD, I couldnt really see her as being scared about it. As for me being uppity, quite possibly if I am honest BUT I am not the one wanting to up the stakes and push things to a new level - I wouldnt have dreamt about putting a DVD under her nose or encouraging her to order a sex toy but as SHE has, I was naturally keen to encourage their use. Letting go of the subject is what I was suggesting when I said about sitting back and waiting but also aware that by switching off the topic completely may make her think that Im not interested in being naughty to think that I am boring and to not bother any further.

[Needahand]

Dude, sweep her off of her feet by suprising her with something completely non-sexual, flowers, a nice meal with just the 2 of you...some real alone time. At the end of the evening, or day, you initiate but make it all about her first...maybe give her patient sensual oral and then try the new toy. Pamper her and take it slow. Maybe she can sense your anticipation and is disappointed you aren't doing all of that? Good luck.

[SexKitten]

Hi, not sure if this will help or not but speaking from my own personal experience recently, I was like your wife and bought some toys for my husband and I to enjoy but was a little apprehensive as to how he would take it. I soon worked up the courage to introduce them into our sex life and we have never looked back and even graduated onto watching sexy films together. I'm thinking that she may be nervous of how you will react as may be in her life she is perceived as being a prude but really she is not. It really is down to her to give you the green light but you could suggest that you watch the DVD (or go out and buy another one) to 'get you in the mood' prior to making love, that way she will be aware that this is a turn on for you and by the sounds of it for her, she just needs to feel comfortable discussing and acting on her feelings/fantasies as girls have them too!!!

[Tod121]

Thanks for the feedback, very much appreciate as much feedback as possible!!

Hi, not sure if this will help or not but speaking from my own personal experience recently, I was like your wife and bought some toys for my husband and I to enjoy but was a little apprehensive as to how he would take it. I soon worked up the courage to introduce them into our sex life and we have never looked back and even graduated onto watching sexy films together. I'm thinking that she may be nervous of how you will react as may be in her life she is perceived as being a prude but really she is not. It really is down to her to give you the green light but you could suggest that you watch the DVD (or go out and buy another one) to 'get you in the mood' prior to making love, that way she will be aware that this is a turn on for you and by the sounds of it for her, she just needs to feel comfortable discussing and acting on her feelings/fantasies as girls have them too!!!

--

Hi, many thanks for your comments, sounds like your experience is exactly what she\we are going through. The trick is waiting for her "green light" or not. Its been almost 3 months and have not watched the DVD yet and only played with her toy the once. When she produced the toy I was like "wow, this looks like fun", I used it on her and then let her take over and really go for it. All very positive vibes (pardon the expression) but when I prompted her to get it out again she ignored me and then another time just said it was too noisey, which I disagree with, it just gives a gentle little hum and I dont think anyone would hear it in another room, so I felt this was just an excuss. I mentioned the DVD and she said the kids were upstairs, which I can understand her caution but it is rare they would come down stairs and we would hear them moving around first before we were caught out so have no idea when she was planning on watching it if she is waiting for that "perfect moment". Since she told me she had bought these things, it encouraged me to find and download a few naughty films and short videos myself, I was going to wait for her to produce her DVD and then show what I had but I am now very tempted to say to her, to break the ice I have something for us to watch but I am also nervous of timing it right, I dont want to be too focused on show n tell if she has other plans for the evening. I am very tempted to give it a go tonight! I have purposely chosen movies that I think she will like, many are slow, gentle and loving but are still very graphic while others are typical hard core porn (without being too disgusting or kinky). Slow n gentle may be a good start or still wait for her?

[Tod121]

We were texting and being a bit naughty and I thought Id grab my chance to test her interest in the vibe and DVD by mentioning them, I asked if she had found the opportunity to have a play by herself since the kids were back to school (when she would normally send me dirty texts) and that I hadnt forgotten about the DVD. She said she hadnt used it alone and said it would be more fun if I was there and said nothing about the DVD. I thought that night may have produced some bedroom magic but instead she went to bed early while the kids were still up and we havent talked much since. I reckon I may as well do my very best to forget the whole thing as Im not sure if I can have any further influence on this.

[Tod121]

My wife and I are both 40 and back in July this year without ANY prompting by me, my wife bought some new sexy and riskque lingerie, a porn DVD and a vibe. Maybe we are on the cusp of a new beginning but she has only worn the naughty undies twice, only dared to get the vibe out once and I have never seen the DVD.
I thought I have been VERY encouraging about all 3 but now we are in Novemeber I am disappointed the "Promise" has never really taken off. I have texted her and said face to face that we should use the vibe and watch the DVD because it would be great fun but now only get vague excusses. I wouldnt mind if it was my idea and now realise that I am being pushy but I struggle to understand why if it was her idea and I am encouraging her why things havent taken off. Can only imagine she is nervous about it now and having second thoughts. Do you think we will go on and make the most of what she has bought in time?

**Mod moved to an already existing thread by poster to avoid hijacking another posters thread.**

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Tod....

Her mistake was telling you what she purchased.

You are hounding her in my opinion, texting, telling her face to face, is "me, me, me," stop struggling to understand anything, it's her body, her decision, if she ever wants to bring them out it's because she wants to share this with you, if not so be it. You are not only being pushy, but obsessed with the reasoning of why she hasn't and to me that would definately turn me off on both accounts...

Concentrate on loving her instead of all the sexual desires for a while and see where that takes you.

[DreamP346]

My wife and I are both 40 and back in July this year without ANY prompting by me, my wife bought some new sexy and riskque lingerie, a porn DVD and a vibe. Maybe we are on the cusp of a new beginning but she has only worn the naughty undies twice, only dared to get the vibe out once and I have never seen the DVD.
I thought I have been VERY encouraging about all 3 but now we are in Novemeber I am disappointed the "Promise" has never really taken off. I have texted her and said face to face that we should use the vibe and watch the DVD because it would be great fun but now only get vague excusses. I wouldnt mind if it was my idea and now realise that I am being pushy but I struggle to understand why if it was her idea and I am encouraging her why things havent taken off. Can only imagine she is nervous about it now and having second thoughts. Do you think we will go on and make the most of what she has bought in time?

Since your wife took the vibe out last time, maybe its your turn to take it out this time. Maybe set up a romantic evening in, YOU put the DVD on. Or during regular forplay, YOU take the vibe and start using it. Could be she likes the idea of it, but is still hesitant to be the one to initiate it.

[ItsASecret]

Maybe set up a romantic evening in, YOU put the DVD on.

Have to be careful with that, she could be simply too shy to initiate it like you say or actually disinterested and now regretting her previous decision of buying it in the first place, getting caught in the moment to purchase it, and now she may honestly not want to watch it. If the woman is not interested enough to put it on herself than a guy just getting up and starting up a porn movie saying "lets get busy cause this is hot sex" can result in her just getting up and leaving the room because she was not asked if she wanted to watch it. I know I would do that exact thing if my bf just randomly put it on and said "this is awesome lets watch it" without at least asking me if I want it on.