[justy]

I'm 21 years old, female, and a virgin. This has happened to me for a good few years now, when I try and masturbate, I just can['t seem to do it. I'll tell you more in depth what and how it happens for me. Basically I don't feel horny constantly or anything, I can go without masturbating for a few weeks but sometimes when I do have the urge I seem to be at it for a few days. Now me masturbating, I don't put my fingers inside my vagina, i just basically rub my vagina under my underwear, so my fingers never actually touch my skin. I rub and push in a circular motion, and within a minute my climax has gone and finished, and I get this excruciating pain in my lower abdomen, I end up stopping even though the urge has gone and i don't get no pleasure just pain, I end up being in pain for 3-5mins during this I just stay still taking a few deep breaths, it's a lot of sharp pains and feels like it's pounding in my lower abdomen. This has happened to me for about 4 years now, I don't want to go to the doctors about it, as I don't want to say anything about it to them and also wouldn't know how to as I would just feel very uncomfortable and I would back out of saying it.

[Guest]

A) Do a search in this forum on this subject. There are probably thousands of psots discussing it.

B) Discuss it with your physician. They've heard everything before and if you're not comfortable with your physician, who are you comfortable with? What else are you keeping from your physician because you're not comfortable talking openly with them?

Get over being "uncomfortable " with your physician. That's a YOU problem and not a THEM problem.

No one can help you if you can't be open and honest.

[jns]

I'm 21 years old, female, and a virgin. This has happened to me for a good few years now, when I try and masturbate, I just can['t seem to do it. I'll tell you more in depth what and how it happens for me. Basically I don't feel horny constantly or anything, I can go without masturbating for a few weeks but sometimes when I do have the urge I seem to be at it for a few days. Now me masturbating, I don't put my fingers inside my vagina, i just basically rub my vagina under my underwear, so my fingers never actually touch my skin. I rub and push in a circular motion, and within a minute my climax has gone and finished, and I get this excruciating pain in my lower abdomen, I end up stopping even though the urge has gone and i don't get no pleasure just pain, I end up being in pain for 3-5mins during this I just stay still taking a few deep breaths, it's a lot of sharp pains and feels like it's pounding in my lower abdomen. This has happened to me for about 4 years now, I don't want to go to the doctors about it, as I don't want to say anything about it to them and also wouldn't know how to as I would just feel very uncomfortable and I would back out of saying it.

Masturbation for most women is centered on the clitoris, where the folds of skin and the labia come together above the vagina and where they pee. Under the cover of skin there is what is called the clitoral glans which has a very high concentration of nerve endings. The cover of skin is called the clitoral hood. When the clitoris is stimulated it can give pleasure but it can give pain if the stimulation is too intense or too direct. The clitoris is erectile tissue that becomes engorged with blood and increases in size with pleasurable stimulation. It can stick out from under the hood with enough sexual excitation.

What I suspect is happening is that that you are creating sexual excitation with rubbing and it is stimulating the clitoris enough for you to reach orgasm. However, the clitoris also engorges and sticks out. The motion causes your panties to come in contact with the clitoris and since they are dry, rough for such sensitive areas and not slippery enough, they irritate the clitoris. When the pleasure chemicals released by the orgasm wear off, you are left with the pain caused by this irritation.

The solution is simple, do not masturbate through the panties. Also masturbate through the clitoral hood. Maybe you can take direct clitoral stimulation with lubricated fingers or a tongue, but you will have to experiment on that.

[spsmith]

jns,

I have a guy question based on your last post. Based on what you say about the comfort/intensity of direct clitoral stimulation, what is the most comfortable way for a woman to have a guy use his hands on her? If a guy puts his fingers down there, is it more comfortable for the woman if he massages on the surface without parting the folds of skin and rubbing the area just above the vaginal opening rather than directly stimulate the clitoris?

I know all women are different, but your post got me curious about how to do this right since I sometimes feel like I do not have a good plan of action when I try to manually stimulate my wife. I would love to know some tips for using my hands and fingers in a way that will make her want more!

[jns]

jns,

I have a guy question based on your last post. Based on what you say about the comfort/intensity of direct clitoral stimulation, what is the most comfortable way for a woman to have a guy use his hands on her? If a guy puts his fingers down there, is it more comfortable for the woman if he massages on the surface without parting the folds of skin and rubbing the area just above the vaginal opening rather than directly stimulate the clitoris?

I know all women are different, but your post got me curious about how to do this right since I sometimes feel like I do not have a good plan of action when I try to manually stimulate my wife. I would love to know some tips for using my hands and fingers in a way that will make her want more!

Start by massaging the clitoris through the hood. You should be able to feel the bump of it through the hood. You may not even need to initially lubricate your finger if you gently slide the hood back and forth. When your lady starts feeling it she should self lubricate and you can use that. If that doesn't happen you can use store bought lubricant. I would suppose that if your finger(s) are soft, you can use somewhat less lubricant, but if they are rough, you may want to use more or use lubricant and/or a lubricated glove(such as latex or nitrile) so as to not damage delicate areas. You can move carefully to the front area when your finger is lubricated taking note of what she is saying and expressing through body movement and nonverbal sounds. Back off if there seems to be pain.

Directly above the vagina is the urethra surrounded by the urethral sponge. Above that is the clitoris. The urethral sponge has nerve endings and the stimulation of it can be pleasurable for some women. Rubbing the labia minora and having them stimulate the urethral sponge may be pleasurable.

Some women may allow the man closer inspection of the vulva and others may be shy about it. A woman may like a man paying attention to her lips and breasts as well as other close by areas while using his hand and finger(s) to find the proper place to stimulate. In such a situation I would suggest moving between areas for kisses on an irregular basis unless one area has shown to be especially sensitive. The guy should also do some research, such as on Wikipedia so he knows the various parts of a woman's vulva. Mix things up once in a while by occasionally brushing and massaging other erogenous areas such as the buttocks and the inner thighs, especially if the other hand is free.

[curiouswife]

First, your wife thanks you for asking. Yes, it is better to massage the clitoris hood with lips closed. With lips open, it can burn or irritate her instantly killing any chance of pleasure she might get. Once she is arroused you can gently slide in and when you pll out each time massage the hood and outer lips again before sliding back in. Thats what works for my husband and I. I love it. God luck with your wife!

jns,

I have a guy question based on your last post. Based on what you say about the comfort/intensity of direct clitoral stimulation, what is the most comfortable way for a woman to have a guy use his hands on her? If a guy puts his fingers down there, is it more comfortable for the woman if he massages on the surface without parting the folds of skin and rubbing the area just above the vaginal opening rather than directly stimulate the clitoris?

I know all women are different, but your post got me curious about how to do this right since I sometimes feel like I do not have a good plan of action when I try to manually stimulate my wife. I would love to know some tips for using my hands and fingers in a way that will make her want more!

[janieboo]

It's pretty much impossible to masturbate without a clitoral vibe, well I should correct myself - you can use Vaseline and your finger but the action of a vibe really does help. Women need much mroe stimulation then that. TheAdultToyShoppe.com is a good place to pick up smaller ones, it will be your saving's grace to a good strong orgasm. If you don't want one of these something at home like a shower head also works just fine.