[JRod]

I guess what I mean is, is anal something that YOU were curious about and desired Or were you "talked" into it by your partner and only did/do it for His pleasure and don't really care for it. Reason I ask is my gf is dead set against it. And Im ok with it...I REALLY am. I don't push the issue anymore. I asked 2 or 89 times and she said no. So I respect her and I dropped it. Yet I remain curious about it. So....do I continue to talk to her about the possibility perhaps researching techniques online together to relax her or is it more like once you ladies make up your mind that it's a no go, then thats that and there is no changing your mind? Thanks!

[ItsASecret]

If she is absolutely dead set no without the remote possibility of curiosity on her part then continually asking and asking can create resentment. That resentment can further create issues for other sexual situations because she may not like that you will not respect her dislike (not saying you are disrespecting her I am just saying that she may see it that way if you keep pushing the issue).

[rcoreyus]

Long long ago this was something my wife and I did. I suggested it, and she was willing to give it a try - though she didn't think she would enjoy it. Turned out that she did really like it and it became something she would ask for frequently. It got to the point where we were mostly doing it to please her (though I certainly didn't mind).

Having done this some, I can tell you that for the man, it really doesn't feel very different and It really isn't worth pressuring her. For the woman I presume it feels completely different, but if she doesn't want it, you honestly aren't missing anything important.

[Guest]

Drop it.

The entire subject matter isn't worth revisiting, especially if you have already done so "2 or 89 times and she said no"...

[Cheyenne]

Going along with Seeker, Drop it!!

If she has told you no to your "2 or 89 times" then she means no! It doesn't mean to keep asking or look up things and ask her. If she says no, then drop the issue and stop asking.

[darcdante]

When we first started dating, my (now wife, then girlfriend) said that she liked anal. She'd only done it a couple times before (both times with the same guy). It was never my thing, but I wanted to try it because I know she likes it. We've tried it twice and didn't get very far either time lol. The butt is tighter than the vagina...a LOT tighter. And in a slightly more awkward position. The first time it was just taking forever to get it in, and I finally started getting frustrated and going soft. The second time I got like...half my head in and she said "ow," so we stopped.

So in your head, if you're picturing a porn-like anal scene, forget it. That doesn't exist in real life. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of lube, and a lot of gentleness. I'm sure we'll try again in the future, but my experience with it thus far has only been that it's a bit of a hassle just to get into a hole that seems uncomfortably tight anyway.

[Guest]

Well, my experience was 2000 times no.....one day, we did it, she didn't like it, so we dropped it, time went by and someday, we talked. I explain her that to me life and our marriage was about feeling happy and alive and that now that our lives were much more settle and children older, that I wanted to feel like both of us wanted the same from life. In my case was being exited of experiencing with my wife as much sex as possible. She was not up for it, so we had to go through a lot before found a common place. Today, she allows me to enjoy her behind 3 times a month and I always double penetrate her so she is always stimulated. Today, she shows me a mix of pleasure and pain that she says is okay.....so we went from no no...to I am started to relax enough to stop feeling pain down there........so my point is that is about education, communication, and both wanting the same from life.....all can be done with success if both parts want to try to do their best in showing the other a great time....at the end of the day is about love.....

[rosekitten]

Drop it. It's very similar to regular sex, in the fact that it hurts a lot, until you get used to it. Some women are simply disgusted by the idea, others are just against the pain of it. Either way, attempting to pressure your SO (asking a lot is pressuring) into things they are not comfortable with, is not healthy. I've had anal in the past and enjoyed it, but it was because I didn't get any warning that it was going to happen, so I wasn't tense. My husband wants to so that he can "claim his territory" which I told him was BS and wasn't going to happen. She may come around in time, but constantly asking/begging is just going to push her away from it more.

[Elanor-Jane]

My first long term bf and I tried it a few times (the thought of it has to b a turn on I used to b dead against it, but found other stuff brought my attention down there and the naughty feeling that comes with it is a real turn on) his penis however was too thick and this together with his lack of patience (some guys just know how to do it! Others no idea!) it was usually very average and we'd have to stop. My current partner is alot more patient and knows that once he gets it in comfortably ( very very slow for the head with us then after the initial ridge were generally all good to go and I can often need it faster and quite hard to make me cum but it does it for me in minutes or less (usually takes me 30min-2hrs to come other ways with rare exceptions.) I'm 26 and only just appreciating how awesome it can be, don't pressure your gf cos it's only something she will want if there's a possibility that it turns her on in a fetish naughty sort of way (because it is very very invasive) and look me years to gain the confidence. Also if u have no idea it will b a disaster and she will hate it and the idea of it forever

[Elanor-Jane]

For everyone ive spoken to and incl myself..Initially it can be uncomfortable or even painful to start. It's a penis going up a cavity that is made to push stuff out! How can u make that assumption for all? How are people supposed to do it right the first time and everytime?! Lol having it hurt a little initially is what makes it good! Not actual serious pain however. Ever considered that some bums may be tighter than others? some cocks are too big for some spaces and it can be a little painful at the start? It's about stretching it out really and getting very aroused so it feels amazing to have it there as opposed to akward and wrong which it will be if you or your partner arent stimulating your clit or vagina. And yes some people arnt as up on things as others but I think that's why they're here, information and discussion.