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  • LanaBear
    Veteran Member
    • Jul 2009
    • 8373

    Originally posted by rcoreyus
    If he complains about what you are doing for him, he's welcome to date his right hand for a while.
    Excellent!

    Comment

    • Texinator
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2009
      • 5556

      Originally posted by rcoreyus
      If he complains about what you are doing for him, he's welcome to date his right hand for a while.
      Haha...

      Comment

      • oxy-moron
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2010
        • 551

        Aside from the shear rudeness of the comment it does say a bit about him as a future partner.
        It sounds like he might be selfish, controlling, uncaring and offensive.
        Is this what you want for your future?

        Comment

        • LittleAdventures
          Member
          • Jul 2011
          • 11

          As another commenter has already said, practice is key! How can you get good at something if you aren't getting any helpful criticism to improve, negative feedback is just poor taste. There are a lot of factors in oral sex such as: speed, suction, tongue, rhythm, and most importantly timing, you know you ain't gonna suck at snails pace the moment before he climaxes, or else he may never reach it! Communicate and ask him what he likes and doesn't like, it's not just all about deep throating, in fact I have such powerful gag reflexes never in a million years could I deep throat my bf, yet I can still please him by doing other things, remember this is not a porno this is reality... Also before he criticizes you you should ask yourself are you satisfied with him, it's not a one man show here.

          Comment

          • Guest

            Stuffed,

            From a man's perspective, what he said to you was rotten. There is never a reason to hurt another's feelings. If he's comfortable with you, his right approach would have been something to this effect, "I love how you do it, but I was wondering if we can try it another way?"

            I do not expect your relationship with him to last. You will find a man who treats you respectfully and is always aware of your feelings.


            Good luck,

            Taos

            Comment

            • Ashlee T.
              Veteran Member
              • Dec 2008
              • 6412

              You have every right to feel the way you do about this. It makes you doubt yourself, hurts your self esteem, damages your feelings of sexuality and desire with him. It seems to me that when it comes to oral, the harder a girl TRIES, the worse it is for HER and for him. The key is relaxation of the mouth neck and head. If you're feeling like you're performing for a judges score, it's VERY hard to relax. Especially if you are getting ZERO feedback other than "you're not good at it you need to practice more". As one of the previous posters said, he's using this as a way to "get more" from you. He's being incredibly selfish at your expense.

              My first reaction is that you need to get rid of the guy. But since you most likely won't.......I'll say that you should have a talk with him too. "Honey, I have been thinking alot about what you said. I've never had any complaints before but I realize all guys are different and I want to make you happy. I'm actually glad you said it because I've been dying to tell you that you need a little help in that area yourself. Perhaps you could start practicing a bit more?"
              "Be what you're looking for."

              Comment

              • sallywi2003
                Senior Member
                • Jul 2010
                • 103

                That is awful what he said. If things are not going right there should be discussion not hurful words. It would make me want to say forget you. Sexual pleasure is a mutual discussion and suggestions by your partner if he is not willing to talk the nget out soon.

                Comment

                • irischef
                  Junior Member
                  • Aug 2011
                  • 3

                  Has he been able to get off on blowjobs before? Some man can't and haven't realized it yet and blame the girl for "not doing it right" Also what works great for some men can be useless to others. There are a lot of tricks, if you can't fit it all in your mouth (you don't need to) try using your hand to jerk the rest, try different rythems, and don't worry about being gentle. Also the head and frenulum (the little seam of skin under the penis head that goes down the back of the shaft) are the most sensative parts so good tongue stimulation on those can be good, don't be afraid to play with his balls, he might like that. I'd also recommend the Guide to Getting it On, which is the best sexual health and education book on the market and has a great chapter on blowjobs.
                  Also if he's gonna be an about it, tell him to suck his own

                  Comment

                  • Firefly3
                    Junior Member
                    • Aug 2011
                    • 7

                    My boyfriend said something like this to me last night. He said "it's not that your bad at it, your just not that good". That really hurt. We've been together a year now, and we never really talked about our sex life, until last night. I was a virgin when we met. He told me I should know his every hotspot, and what gets him off the best. I know some, but for some reason it's just hard for me to talk to him. He's a very strong minded person. I just feel a little....smaller when we talk. But I would like some advice on, anything. And stuffedbunny, at least he didn't say it right after you two had sex.

                    Comment

                    • Texinator
                      Veteran Member
                      • Sep 2009
                      • 5556

                      Originally posted by Firefly3
                      He told me I should know his every hotspot, and what gets him off the best. I know some, but for some reason it's just hard for me to talk to him.
                      He needs to communicate those things to you. "You should know" isn't good enough, otherwise you could open up a psychic hotline, if you were able to read his mind.

                      ...and as with Stuffedbunny, don't forget that your boyfriend should also know your hotspots and what gets you off best.

                      Comment

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