[Guest]

Hi

This is my first post I would appreciate any help or advice people could offer.

I am a virgin in my 20's, Ive been out with guys before and been in a couple of relationships but for some reason just never felt comfortable enough to take it that step further.

I am really scared about the whole first time thing. mainly the penetration side im worried im too small. And basically it wnt fit.

I actually on the advice of a friend purchased the rabbit( vibe) I have been using that, but I am worried that the avg man is much larger.

Is it normal to be this worried or is there something wrong with me??A few freinds have been telling me to purchase larger vibrators such as the thruster and the platinum but they look very large and quite painful I am not even sure it will fit. Please any help or comments

[tinkerbell930]

The first time can be scary to think about...but if you are with a guy that is caring and you trust it makes it not so scary.
Using a vibrator is not the same as being with someone. It is weird that your friends tell you to buy "bigger" ones....I don't quite understand what that purpose is.
Are you seeing someone right now? Or do you just want to get it over with?
If it is just to get it over with, I would recommend waiting for the right guy. Sex can be a wonderful thing, but if you are with some random guy that "gets" to take your virginity and not cherish it, you will always feel like you cheated yourself and a future man that you love.

[chldofGOD]

stay focused

My advice to you is this. not to focus so much on sex, wait until you are actually engaged to the one person that should only know that side of you. Then when thoughts of being scared and afraid of pain and the uncertainty of it dawns try some things with your soon to be mate. I would say not to be too blunt but "fingering" from you fiance' will easily open you up. Also with doing that he can learn more about your body and what you like and don't like. This way when you do get married you will feel more comfortable and he will know just how to handle your body. So that's my advice to you. Hope it helped God bless!

[GentileBen]

I think you need to find a guy who is very gentle and caring, sex can either be a beautiful experience that two people can share together or it could be a nightmare.

Its just finding the right guy.

Don't let the guy enter unless you are wet, and it probably wouldn't hurt to use a water based lubricant initially.

[juley]

1st timer

I was 20 when I lost my virginity, and it was with some one that new me very well, and we had been together only 6 + months but I was really into him and he into me. He respected my body and new how I liked things from playing and petting before. I wont lie it hurt bad, but he stopped when I said stop and we tried again later, I thought at the end what the hell is all the hype about, but we did it again later, and again, and it becomes less akward and more enjoyable.
Its better with the real thing than will a toy or a vibe, with someone that you can trust and respects you to know what your feeling, it makes wanting to do it again worth the sharing of the moment and the pressure worth it. Find the right person and it will be easy to want it, in might hurt at first but it gets way better!!!. Good luck!

[petite25]

My first time sucked lol I didn't think it hurt at all...I felt a little pressure but didn't hurt. Everyone is different though. I also remember lying there thinking "what the hell is the big deal about sex? this isn't what they make it out to be at all!" haha!!

[Irelandlover]

Some really good posts here, particularly tinkerbell's. It does hurt for some women, it hurt for me. But its sometimes because people think they are relaxed but when the penetration comes they get tense again thinking it will hurt and the wetness goes away quickly.

You need to wait for the man who deeply loves you and you him. So you feel as relaxed as possible.

Don't try a bigger vibrator, if you're using a smaller one already then it probably won't hurt, why not let a man who loves you go in there with something bigger rather than a piece of plastic.

Plus I always think that I might stretch myself so its not so good for the man.. but maybe thats not right as it is very elastic down there! One thing for sure though if you did buy a bigger one it would make you feel more relaxed that you can go your own speed feel what its like and then when your man goes in you will know before hand its not going to hurt and therefore not feel tense.

When I was hurting down there I used a vibe and then I got to know better what was making it hurt and what wasn't.

[vamp2110]

no worries

hey dont worry it's not that bad and u really have nothing to worry about but doing "it" with the right guy , dont be in a rush either ( i didn't have sex
til i was 20 and i was scared about it for a long time ) stop with the vibrators it's not going to work that well , dont get me wrong it will get u off but it will be nothing like the real thing . when u find the right guy believe me you wont be scared , when my boyfriend first tried to make a move on me , i told him i was a virgin and i was also scared about the whole thing , but he gave me time and was very understanding and he used his hands ( fingers) to and before i knew it i was okay with it.

the key is to do it with someone u feel very comfortable with ,other wise it wont be something beautiful it will just be a oh my god why did i do it with him lol . also just give it time get to know the person. that's all i can really say , just dont worry so much about it , it's more scarier to think about it then actually doing it .

[ejreams]

Hi

This is my first post I would appreciate any help or advice people could offer.

I am a virgin in my 20's, Ive been out with guys before and been in a couple of relationships but for some reason just never felt comfortable enough to take it that step further.

I am really scared about the whole first time thing. mainly the penetration side im worried im too small. And basically it wnt fit.

I actually on the advice of a friend purchased the rabbit( vibe) I have been using that, but I am worried that the avg man is much larger.

Is it normal to be this worried or is there something wrong with me??A few freinds have been telling me to purchase larger vibrators such as the thruster and the platinum but they look very large and quite painful I am not even sure it will fit. Please any help or comments

One comment.
"When you are truly ready, I dont' think you'll have to worry about the fitting."

[nuno2502]

Losing your virginity is a monumental event in your life. You will remember it forever. Make sure that the person you choose to lose it to is someone who you won't regret. Many girls I know wish that they could take it back and do it over with someone else. The most important thing to remember is choose the right guy. You want a guy who you feel absolutely safe with no questions asked. A guy that does exactly what you want him to do when you want him to do it. If you have someone like this you won't have any problems. If you go VERY slowly and take it bit by bit you'll be fine. If it starts to hurt tell him to pull back and wait a while. DO NOT have the local neighbourhood stud "pop" you because you're scared. This must be done on your terms and conditions, it is after all your body. It is quite normal to feel apprehensive about it but if you feel scared about doing it then you don't trust that person enough. This is a very important factor. You don't need to do it once and get it over with. If you are sore then stop, wait a little bit and try again. If it gets worse then stop. Let him try his fingers for a while and try again. Your nervousness will play a large part in this because you will tense up. If you keep on at it over a few days you will become less anxious and you will be able to relax. It will most probably hurt and you might very well bleed but if you take it really slowly this will be minimal. Also bear in mind that once he has fully entered you it might still hurt a couple of times after. I know I sound very glum about the whole thing but rather do it right and not have any problems later. Take it slow and at your pace and use lots of lubrication. NOT VASELINE.