[newmommy532011]

I appreciate everything you guys are saying. I feel much better now. You're right, they aren't married and one of my so called "friend" had a husband, lost their virginity to each other and then he cheated on with a prostitute after a few months of being married. They were married before she found out. She found out when she went to the hospital and found out she had Herpes. :-O So I think she has it classified in her head that all men are cheaters. But you're all right, I think they are jealous. I totally forgot one Christmas party me and my husband were throwing and my one friend Natoshya (she was always jealous of me in school) went up to my husband in the kitchen while he was getting more wine and my husband told me that she was "hitting" on him. She was telling him all these dirty things. Things she wanted to do with him and how he should be with a real woman like her. She grabbed his manhood and whispered in his ear "baby, you know where to find me..." and licked his ear and she walked away...he told me as soon as it happened. I was furious. I kicked her out and she says to me "I don't know why you are mad at me. I didn't do anything wrong. I was probably playing around and he took it the wrong way..." wrong way my ...touching my husband...I should have knocked her out! But my kick-boxing teacher told us we should never act out unless they lay a hand on you first. After that, me and my husband grew closer and I trust him more. Thank you all. I know we all can be great friends on this forum. I am very lonely since I no longer have a job. :-)

[Mouse37]

I think it is beautiful that you two are each others first. In all honesty, I think it is something everyone wishes to have. Who wouldn't love to say that, "Yes, my husband is all mine. He has never shared this part of himself with another woman, and I with another man. We are completely unique to each other."

If anything, I believe they wish they could have something just as special.

Do not let them ruin the beautiful relationship you have with questions that have no true ground to stand upon.

[mbgirl]

And as a married gal of 14 years, does it really matter if you were each other's firsts? I mean, my husband and I have only had eachother in the sixteen years we've known one another. I would think the same risk applies to any long term relationship on whether or not your mate is bored/curious. I am very happy with our sex life because it's considerate, passionate and loving. So the fact that you're virgins doesn't mean you have this looming dark cloud over your head. I think every relationship stands the risk. I hope that makes you feel better with the fact that you're not alone with these thoughts!

[newmommy532011]

Thank you ladies. I feel better. :0)

[ayushi daswani14]

OMG i find this way too cute... you both have been together from your teen years.. i mean everyday we see relationships breaking some in just a few months while some in just a few years... you people have been together all these years and you are both happy .. so forget what your friends are saying if you both are happy together.. he wont cheat..

[newmommy532011]

He is my best friend. He and I can tell each other anything...I am lucky to be the only woman he has ever had...and he feels the same about me. I am so glad I found my soul mate on the first try lol <3 We have been though a lot and because of that we are stronger. We went through a tough time when I miscarried in 2008. It happened to fast. His father died and my baby died a week after...I was 8 weeks pregnant. That was the first time we ever got pregnant. We had a lot of problems in our marriage. I almost committed suicide and if he didn't stay around to save me, I wouldn't have my angel now. The drs told me because of my health and the way my vagina is, it would be impossible for me to get pregnant...well after a few years, we stopped trying and look what I am blessed with? A beautiful baby boy Jude Dominick Chavez <3 I believe that God wanted me to wait to have a baby. I now realize that everything happens for a reason. If that baby lives, he or she could have been ill or I could have lost the baby at a later date, and I would not have my beautiful son now. I am grateful for the people in my life that have stayed by me through it all...and that person was my husband. I owe him my life. I don't know what or where I would be with out him. He is my life and my love. I hope we die old together and that we lived our lives to the fullest. :-)

[jns]

Me and some of my friends were talking about when we lost our virginities. I lost my virginity when I was 16 to my husband, my husband was 18. My friends make fun of me cuz I've only been with one man and he's only been with me. Why is that so bad? They say I am missing out on experience. Well what if I'm ok with that? Why do people have a problem with me being with one man? They also say that my husband probably cheats on me cuz he is a man and men want to explore new things. Do you think he would do that to me?

You should tell your "friends" that they are missing out on having a husband that loves them and wouldn't cheat. Tell them that you are sorry that they haven't found "the one" for each of them.

[Evolve]

Statistically speaking, being high school sweet heart PLUS each other's first put you at the highest percentage of marital survival. In other words, you guys have what most only dream about. I think all will be well, don't forget to cherish and respect each other, also be choosy with your friends..

[Hugo-B]

I'm a 32 year old man.

I was raised by parents with traditional values, my mom and Dad didn't even live together until they were married (I couldn't ask them if they waited to have sex until marriage the answer would make me sick). I grew up with security, love, and had traditional values instilled into me by parents in a healthy, functional relationship playing the role of the traditional archetypical mother and father. This led me to expect my first relationship to work out in a similar way.

I wasn't very confident when I was younger and waited until I was 19 (or at least it took me that long until I was ready) before I finally got a GF and went any further than kissing, 3 months later I started having sex with her (she was more experienced than me and still not over her last BF IMO). We tend to judge people by our own standards and I (out of inexperience and naivety) assumed she would have healthy boundaries like me, unfortunately this wasn't the case, quite the opposite in fact, her dad was an alcoholic and left when she was 5, leaving her with abandonment issues and a myriad of other insecurity issues.

I would have been more than happy to stay with her (at the time) and not even look at another woman. I stayed with her much longer than I should have and I knew of at least one instance when she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. I contracted a (sexually contracted) urinary infection when I lost my virginity to her. She was also crazy, jealous, insecure, and a complete drama queen. When I met my first GF we got on like a house on fire, but before long the cracks started showing and she'd have jealous, irrational pouting fits, accusing me of wanting to sleep with other women and all sorts of nonsense to the point she virtually drove me mad. She was also impatient and uncooperative regarding my sexual inexperience.

I could have left any time but out of what I think were self esteem issues, naivety and general all around cluelessness I put up with her behavior for about three and a half years. It took me about another 3 years before I went into another relationship which only lasted 3 months or so, then I immediately met another girl who was just as crazy (though I believe faithful) and I spent a rocky three and a half years with her.

In short I exercised poor judgement in partners (as in I chose women who weren't suitable for me). To date I've slept with over 100 women (I don't know the exact number) and I'm 32 now. I've become jaded (I think) and quite intolerant by the poor choices I've made and the way I've let some women treat me. For a while I found it much easier to be single and just have casual sex when it suited me.

I never had much aptitude with women when I was younger (hence the poor choices and self esteem issues) and I was certainly not fortunate enough to find a partner when I was a virgin with whom I was compatible with AND who shared my values and ideals. I've been with my current GF for a year now and it's the best relationship I've been in, I always maintained I would never punish a woman for something another woman has done to me, so she definitely doesn't take the heat for any of the shot I've put up with from other women.

I'm saying all of this firstly to offer some more male input, but also to show I can speak from the perspective of a male virgin who would have been more than happy to stay with his first partner (even though I wasn't hers) and I'm now someone who is now more in the situation your friends are in - though hopefully anyone who has read any of my posts hopefully knows I'm not jealous and/or bitter/potentially destructive like your friends - I'm more than happy to see people (in fact I'll help them to) suceed where I have failed.

I can tell you with certainty that having sex with someone you love is infinitely better than a threesome (MMF or FFM), more satisfying than having sex with 2 different women in a day or having three woman on the go at once or having a threesome whilst another couple are watching you. Precluding couples who go swinging these are the behaviors of people who have no one who loves them that they can go home to each evening.

It's completely and utterly plausible that your husband has not, will not, and has no intention of cheating on you. It was interesting to see CW point out that your friends are jealous and would like to take what you have away from you, and then to read one of them tried it on with him.

It's hard to find someone to love who'll love you back, and your 'friend' is acutely ware of this, though trying to sabotage your marriage for her own selfish gain and out of jealousy, spite and bitterness is unforgivable. JNS is correct (as usual) she is worthy of pity, but I'd stay away from her; luckily your marriage is strong and your husband couldn't be led astray.

If my first GF had shared my values and ideals and was in the right lace emotionally to have started a serious long term relationship then we may well have still been together today. Your 'friends' need to accept they are somewhere closer to where I am, and they need to learn to stop envying you because of what you and your husband share.

[TJPatriot]

I'd say the only real reason for such "experience" would be if you're in a sexual relationship where you're not willing to try new things and expand your boundaries. If your one and only sexual relationship is fulfilling and both sides try to get better as time goes on I don't see a point in ever having other partners.

Though personally for myself, I lost my virginity to some girl I only slept with a few times after that, and ever since has been my girlfriend of 2 years. But I do have a bit of curiosity in having sex with someone else, because she has a chronic illness and cannot or will not go 'above and beyond' for her side of sex because of fatigue and such. I'm interested in how sex might be with a "normal" girl, though I don't see myself ever acting on this feeling, I have a fulfilling sexual relationship, but there is a "what if" bit in my head.