I have been having trouble with my boyfriend for a WHILE, but the story is kind of long. If I don't cover it well enough please ask questions because I need help.
First, I believe that when I switched birth control my sex drive lowered. The reason I think this is because before the birth control I was pretty wild with my boyfriend, and during the placebos I am almost always horny until the new pills start again. I feel bad, and I feel responsible. But I'm trying very hard to put those feelings past me because when I concentrate on them it puts a lot of pressure on me and makes me reluctant to have sex.
Second I have been trying to talk more openly with my boyfriend about sex. Am I always successful? No, but I'm doing my best. I have tried very hard to tell him what I like for him to do and what turns me on. I know it hasn't been perfect, but I also know that he gets it, mostly because of how much and often I've gone over it.
The problem is that my boyfriend doesn't care to get me in the mood AT ALL. It's really frustrating. It's like he will be in the mood, but I am not. I like helping him out, I don't mind. I love him and I like making him feel good. But it's like it never crosses his mind to maybe try to get me in the mood, like he's partly getting what he wants so that's good enough? I'm not entirely sure how to interpret these actions or how to confront the problem.
I have talked to him about these problems before. I have told him that he's going to have to at least put forth a little effort, but he just shuts down. If the conversation comes up he immediately becomes silent. I don't want to feel bad, and I have told him that. I don't care about before as long as we can do something different now.
All suggestions are welcome I just want to make this better.
First, I believe that when I switched birth control my sex drive lowered. The reason I think this is because before the birth control I was pretty wild with my boyfriend, and during the placebos I am almost always horny until the new pills start again. I feel bad, and I feel responsible. But I'm trying very hard to put those feelings past me because when I concentrate on them it puts a lot of pressure on me and makes me reluctant to have sex.
Second I have been trying to talk more openly with my boyfriend about sex. Am I always successful? No, but I'm doing my best. I have tried very hard to tell him what I like for him to do and what turns me on. I know it hasn't been perfect, but I also know that he gets it, mostly because of how much and often I've gone over it.
The problem is that my boyfriend doesn't care to get me in the mood AT ALL. It's really frustrating. It's like he will be in the mood, but I am not. I like helping him out, I don't mind. I love him and I like making him feel good. But it's like it never crosses his mind to maybe try to get me in the mood, like he's partly getting what he wants so that's good enough? I'm not entirely sure how to interpret these actions or how to confront the problem.
I have talked to him about these problems before. I have told him that he's going to have to at least put forth a little effort, but he just shuts down. If the conversation comes up he immediately becomes silent. I don't want to feel bad, and I have told him that. I don't care about before as long as we can do something different now.
All suggestions are welcome I just want to make this better.
), but I actually take birth control because I do not have periods without them. Also, when we have sex I make my boyfriend wear a condom anyway because I am amazingly paranoid about getting pregnant. So that really isn't his fault.
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