I'm 22. When I was 18, I was dating my first boyfriend. When we'd been together for 4 months, I started to feel different. I didn't "feel" those butterflies in my stomach, but I took this as a normal evolution of the relationship. But with that, my sexual desire started to wane too. Actually, I started worrying about those things and suddenly I became apathetic about everything so I went to therapy 'cause I thought I was depressed. It didn't really work for me so I stopped. I just thought it was a "phase" because I was starting university. Suddenly I started feeling "normal" although now that I think about it I probably just got used to that. My sex drive went from "horny all the time" to "nonexistant" in a period of about six months. But I thought it would come back, so I waited. Nothing turned me on... not even fantasies, nor porn, nothing.... thought sex had lost the "novelty" factor. I feared losing my boyfriend because, being a young guy, I'm sure he'd left me over something like that so I started faking it all the time.
I don't know if it's depression or it's just that I became desensitized to sex. Last year there was a time in which I hooked up with a new guy and it felt like it came back but it was very, very mild, and I only felt turned on after kissing or touching, fantasizing did nothing for me either. I hooked up with another guy a couple weeks ago and not even kissing or any of that turned me on, so I'm back to "nonexistant". If I really make an effort I can orgasm, I just never get aroused naturally. I don't masturbate because I'm horny and need a release, I masturbate (rarely I must add) to check that I can still orgasm.
I think I may have caused myself depression by self suggestion and now I don't know how to snap out of it, I mean, I don't really feel passionate about anything, it's not just about sex. But then again it may not be depression, maybe it's hormonal or maybe my body just doesn't respond to sex anymore. All I know is it's distressing, I'm 22 and I feel like I'm missing out, especially with the attention I get from cute guys. I just feel too embarrassed to tell anyone, even my gynaecologist or going to a therapist, I'm scared that there may be no solution.
I don't know if it's depression or it's just that I became desensitized to sex. Last year there was a time in which I hooked up with a new guy and it felt like it came back but it was very, very mild, and I only felt turned on after kissing or touching, fantasizing did nothing for me either. I hooked up with another guy a couple weeks ago and not even kissing or any of that turned me on, so I'm back to "nonexistant". If I really make an effort I can orgasm, I just never get aroused naturally. I don't masturbate because I'm horny and need a release, I masturbate (rarely I must add) to check that I can still orgasm.
I think I may have caused myself depression by self suggestion and now I don't know how to snap out of it, I mean, I don't really feel passionate about anything, it's not just about sex. But then again it may not be depression, maybe it's hormonal or maybe my body just doesn't respond to sex anymore. All I know is it's distressing, I'm 22 and I feel like I'm missing out, especially with the attention I get from cute guys. I just feel too embarrassed to tell anyone, even my gynaecologist or going to a therapist, I'm scared that there may be no solution.
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