[Lenore411]

My BF and I seemed sexually compatible when we met. Sex had been a huge factor in past disappointments for the two of us, and we both liked a little of everything. Well, he was used to being in charge, so I've gotten used to not being so aggressive lol he compromised a little in not telling me no every time I initiated.

However, hes telling me no a lot. Flat out, doesn't do anything but say no. I'm perplexed, hes always wanted a girl with a high sex drive, yet he can't handle it. He says hes satisfied, and maybe the fact that he knows it's there that it's not as urgent.

I've expressed my unhappiness and frustration to no avail. Sex ruled his life before, and he even had a FWB for a whole year. He tells me not to compare myself and that it's a good thing. i told him I'm happy but I enjoy sex and everything else and just don't understand how I managed to tame him!!

I'm ready to break up, but I am madly in love and happy with everything else. noones been able to keep up with me, and the one guy who couldve is content. I see him on the weekends, and it happens maybe two times... When we first met It was twice a day (and in some unique places A lot more oral and non sex stuff.. 5 months in to each this is not good!. Oh and I'm capricorn and hes aquarius. I so believe what they day about astrology lol do I try and tame myself as well and focus on the love, or break up?

[Guest]

Well, for some man, having such an aggressive high sex drive woman is not a turn on - they want to be in charge, a submissive woman is more what turn them on. Why don't you have an honest talk with him, just tell him what is going on flat out...be honest let him know how much you need to feel desire and wanted. For those of us who have a very high sexual drive, is very important that we explain to the best of our abilities why is so important to us feeling desire and wanted. After talking to him, compromise, role play being a submissive wife....give him something that when he thinks about it, get horny and start looking for you.....good luck!

[Little]

So, you're not sexually compatible, and he's perfectly okay with that. It's not a unique story. There are posts like this all over the board, and I don't know of one that resolved 100% well.

This is a power play, and not necessarily a healthy, "fetish" kind. It's likely this won't change in the future, and certainly won't change after marriage. You're better off getting out before you get too invested.

[Lenore411]

Thx... I have played submissive, and the sex was amazing. But ivfeel like not having my sexuality appreciated. I have toned it down, but sometimes it's ok sometimes it's not. I hate feeling sexy then being rejected. I feel as if sex has to be on his terms.

I've talked to him, and it's barely changed. I want sex to be equal. Not he'll tell me yes when he feels like it's ok it's my idea. Or at least if I try to inniate I would like him to do something. it's all confusing, and I'm not ok with it... I guess I'm not focusing to much on the sex,i do appreciate the love, but I'm tired of feeling like this.

[stressed]

Sexual compatibility doesn't change, it's either there or it's not. He's not going to improve and you're not going to stop thinking about sex. This is a thorn in many relationships these days. Break up over sex? Definitely. I've done it. And it sounds like so should you.

[jns]

Your bf and you both may have a change in your sexual desires in the future. As long as one doesn't cut off the other entirely and both are willing to compromise, a medium that both can live with should be able to be found. It this case, it doesn't seem like the bf wants to compromise, but you are willing to, to a degree. This is the compatibility mismatch that should cause you to look elsewhere.