[Magnetism]

One of the best advice I've heard was to never listen to an ex. I feel you, because it's hard not to let those words affect you. Realistically though, I think it's a bunch of crock. Sounds like your ex isn't happy with himself or is holding some resentment.

The guys I know mean it when they tell someone she's beautiful. I also know guys that can't stand plastic breasts on a thin body (playboy models, etc). Guys like your ex try to justify themselves by saying that all men think like that.

I have my own body image insecurities too, but I was thinking that how many extremely good-looking people aren't happy. They still endure bad relationships, rough phases, etc. I've had a problem where my obsession with my looks ruined my relationships, so it's not where you want to end up.

[Texinator]

my ex told me once that guys do think that porn stars have the hottest bodies, but that when guys are in love they settle for imperfect bodies. He also once mentioned he thought my breasts were too small and also asked me if there was anything I could do about my cellulite.

Maybe you should ask the mental midget if there is anything he could do for his pea brain.

There is no such thing as the perfect body. Things like breast size and butt size are simply features that you can't honestly rate in any objective manner. For example, how can someone say a square is better than a circle? Blue is superior to red? How would you measure these thing? You can't.

Many people have preferences, but those preferences vary so much that you can't say one particular size or shape is better than the rest. There are people who think smaller butts are more attractive, and there are people who think the opposite. There are men who obsess about breasts, and then there are cultures in the world where breasts offer no sexual attraction at all. How would you decide who is right? You can't.

Besides, when you truly love a woman, you love everything about her. You don't tell her that her breasts are too small, not only because it would be rude, but more importantly because the thought never even crosses your mind. For you, she has the most beautiful body, because the body belongs to your beloved girlfriend, fiance, or wife.

[Guest]

Confidence, in oneself, is the sexiest part of a woman...the rest is just icing on the cake!

There's a reason he's your ex...because he's history! There's a reason it's called porn...because it's fantasy.

Now go out and find someone who loves you for you...that's called L-O-V-E !!

Where women see bumps, bulges and imperfections...the men who love them see nothing but curves!!

[prettylights]

I just don't understand why I care about this stuff so much, why I want validation from my looks, or why do I feel ugly all the time. I know I'm not the smartest girl in the world, I even know I'm not the smartest girl among my friends, and I don't really care. I know I can't dance, I know I don't have great talents, despite having friends who really work the dancefloor or being friends with many musicians and artists. And these things don't bother me. People could call me stupid and talentless and I wouldn't really care because I know that despite not being the smartest or most talented, I'm neither stupid nor talentless, and I'm OK with my brains and talents (though there's always room for improvement, but it's not a requirement).

However, with looks it's a whole different story. I just can't feel comfortable with how I look, I can't! I know I'm not gross, but I'm also so unremarkable and receive such little attention compared to my friends or strangers that I just feel unappealing, and that hurts so much. Funnily enough, I also know that looks are the most inane and useless part of a human being. Yet it's so valued... today I had an uncomfortable moment in which I was standing at the street, waiting for someone. A couple pretty, or "hot" girls came one way and a man came the other way... he rubbernecked very obviously to check them out and started wolf whistling and saying tings like "d**n!" wery loudly so they could hear him until they were out of sight. They seemed to enjoy the attention a bit, but I felt so uncomfortable because I hate creeps like that but then again I also know that I'm not "hot" or pretty enough because I never receive that sort of attention, I feel invisible. And no make up or clothes can fix that, because it'd also be a cover up. I'm not pretty. I don't have a nice body. And that bears no reflection as to who I AM, but people, especially men, seem to pass me by in favor of better looking women. And that hurts so much. I just don't see the point in being with men right now, because I'm afraid they will all think I'm nice and everything, but secretly wish I looked more like a sexy woman.

I'm also having problems with hair acceptance, because I have long, thin hair, and I hate having thin hair so much! most women I know have very abundant manes, and no woman I know has as little hair as I do. It's not thinning, it's not a disease, I haven't been losing hair, I've always had little hair and a tight scalp, and there's no fix for it. I don't wanna wear my hair short because it wouldn't flatter my face, and I like long hair better but I hate that you can notice how little hair I have. I just feel like a failure of a woman, like a cheap imitation of what beautiful women are supposed to look like, 'cause I have curves but I have cellulite, I have a thicker frame, I have thin hair, I have traditionally "pretty" facial features like big eyes, plum lips and high cheekbones but the "composition" doesn't look good. I'm so tired of this. And I feel so undesirable.

Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest.

[Texasred]

Be confident and smile, the rest will follow.

Words to live by!

[ska1331]

I must really be missing something. Everytime you give a physical description of yourself I fail to see how you are ugly. I do see how you lack confidense in yourself tho. The type of guy that whistles out and makes lewd comments towards women is truly a schmuck. There are probably guys checking you out,just you don't notice because they are quiet about it. There are a lot of us that don't care for "little" women. I have to have curves. Really I still fail to see your lack of beauty.

[rcoreyus]

A lot of boys and young men who lack confidence are attracted to women that fit a particular mold. They are worried that they might be attracted to the "wrong" women, and be ridiculed by their teenage peers.

Men who have confidence in themselves are happy to be attracted to women who don't fit some exact body type. They learn that there are very many varieties of beauty, and are happy to express their appreciation for all of its forms.

You can't compare the beauty of different women - it would be like asking which is better - chocolate, or fresh strawberries, or good wine, or hot spiced cider. They are all wonderful (or if not, substitute your favorite foods ), you can't, and there is no reason you should judge.

I'm not saying that ALL women are beautiful - but a lot of them are, and the beautiful women come in a wonderful variety. If you boyfriend finds you beautiful, then believe him. If he doesn't then find someone who does.

[cocoa]

I never felt entirely comfortable with my appearance either but my partner doesn't seem to mind. He is very appreciative. When someone likes you, they like you and won't care about whether you fit an ideal image. I never used to believe this, but now I do. All the best.

[Elanor-Jane]

I don't think men asking u out is a reflection of your appearance. I've never had men persue me, even after I gained confidence and accepted my body and face. Everyone has hang ups, it's how u deal with them that gets u where u need to be.

I don't believe that your unnactractive as many people can describe themselves and believe they are unattractive in the process. So please list some things that you like about yourself.
If I were in your frame of mind I would describe myself as having bad skin (moderate adult acne), a jelly tummy, cellulite on the back and insides of my thighs bad skin on the top of my back nanna legs with kankles and no definition, short thin hair etc etc. Truth is all of us have imperfections and if u watch a broad range or porn the women arnt perfect. Not all have big boobs some are tiny and some of the fake jobs are really bad. I personally wouldn't want to look like the ideal when it comes to pornos they're so fake! They look like something off a show on too much surgery! Almost like trannies! The more realistic looking women in porn have many imperfections but they're still attractive! Personally even after listing those things that make me sound very average, I still think I'm attractive! It's all about changing what u concentrate on. Concentrate on the positive aspects

[cherry2]

I used to feel that way, but as an art major I was required to take figure drawing (drawing nude models). We had this female model that was awesome. She was SO comfortable with herself. I envied her and respected her. On first glance, she wasn't hot or sexy, but he was so comfortable and confident and that made her so beautiful to me. She would talk to us afterwards as if we hadn't been very critically eying and drawing her for the past 3 hours. I felt like for the first time I could be beautiful too. It was like if this girl could be stunning, why not me?

I started looking at myself naked more, and drawing myself. Now I feel like a guy would be lucky to see me naked. I'm proud to show my boyfriend everything I've got. Things that I KNEW were ugly I now think are beautiful.

Guys can think what they want, but at the end of the day you're stuck in that body and you're the only one who can validate it's beauty. Small breasts? Like a ballerina, they exude femininity to the extreme! large areolas? I've got them too and some guys think it's super sexy! Thick thigh? Some men might say more cushin' for the pushin'. You won't be perfect for every guy, but they won't all be perfect for you. it matters more what you think. Start with what you already think is beautiful and then go from there.