[monoliths&dimentions]

I'm not sure you should be telling me not to stay with the love of my life based on this. My sex drive isn't crazy, every day would be a little too excessive for me. Maybe like 6 times a month. I think thats plenty for me. we are both really busy and like the build up of not having sex for a while. It's more meaningful to us (even if we are just ing an not making love sometimes) by not doing it all the time, sex all the time desensitizes me and I get bored of it really fast, I've had previous relationship ships were it was every day and I hated it. I think I was in a bad mood when I wrote this and felt I needed to know if there was anyone out there who felt the same as me. Now that I can think clearly maybe it's just a lack of NOT ENOUGH communication but I most certainly will not try to "train" anyone into having more sex.

[stressed]

There's a bit of a difference between a couple of times a month and 6 times a month.
As long as you're happy we're happy.
It's just a sensitive issue to many of us here, especially people who've been through what you described in your first post, and know this is not easily solved.

[Guest]

Normal healthy relationship should have sex at least twice a week - is part of being human and being in love you can't help it...is a sexual attraction...if you don't have that you are not REALLY IN LOVE......I am talking if you are young...old people usually get used to have a crazy sex live.....I hope will not be my case...

[Avitom]

Sometimes if the sex is the same, it can start to get boring and we think our drive is low when really we're just bored in the bedroom. It's amazing what a sexy little outfit can do... Try a white blouse with no bra, short skirt and pop on some stockings. It makes you feel sexier and it suddenly makes things a lot less vanilla.

You could try asking him about his fantasies, JUDGEMENT FREE, some people have some very embarrassing fantasies and just talking about what gets us hot and bothered can get us... hot and bothered.

I've had similiar problems in the past, but sometimes a little work (a chair dance, a back massage, some sexy music) can lead to a night of lovemaking that will keep you satisfied for days. Best of luck.

[oxy-moron]

Sometimes if the sex is the same, it can start to get boring and we think our drive is low when really we're just bored in the bedroom. It's amazing what a sexy little outfit can do... Try a white blouse with no bra, short skirt and pop on some stockings. It makes you feel sexier and it suddenly makes things a lot less vanilla.

You could try asking him about his fantasies, JUDGEMENT FREE, some people have some very embarrassing fantasies and just talking about what gets us hot and bothered can get us... hot and bothered.


I've had similiar problems in the past, but sometimes a little work (a chair dance, a back massage, some sexy music) can lead to a night of lovemaking that will keep you satisfied for days. Best of luck.

I agree with Avitom- mix it up. Increase the amount of massage as well. This increases Oxytocin levels which should increase the desire for sex.

[monoliths&dimentions]

Oh we have trust me, we have talked about everything. He told me that sometimes he just watches porn to "do it" and get it out of the way so he can work on other things. So basically it's a human function that needs to occur for him to focus on anything else even if he doesn't want sex. It's kind of confusing but I know my spouse very well and I think I just get a little bummed out at times and tend to post on here when in a negative mood. Thanks for all your advice though, it's much appreciated!

[DreamP346]

Maybe your boyfriend is just not into the conventional. Since he likes to masterbate and watch porn, maybe he gets turned on by other stuff like watching porn when you are having sex, role playing, BDSM, etc. Have you tried exploring other areas. Also, he may have insecuries that are preventing him from opening enjoying sex with you. Talk it though.

[monoliths&dimentions]

We have talked about it a lot, The answer I always just keep getting is I'm busy or I'm not in the mood right now. Which sucks cause I can tell you I am a decent looking lady with a nice body so I'm just not sure why he's not interested. I'm not sure he's into role playing or BDSM, I am interested in trying it though I bought rope, nipple clamps, candles, wrist restraints..tons of toys but still I get NOTHING out of him. It sucks cause I really wanna try out all that stuff I bought instead of it just sitting in a drawer.