[tkammers]

I need to vent on this issue. My boyfriend (55) and I (53) have been together for 9 years. We have not had sex now for probably 2 months. I asked him why and he never answers me. What really ****ed me off was the other day I had to have a minor surgery done at the hospital. My guy came home while I was having the procedure done. Well needless to say the next day I checked the computer and he was home looking at porn while I was at the hospital. I am really upset by this but whenever I bring up him looking at porn he shrugs it off as if it was nothing.

[Guest]

It is nothing....men are visual beings....we can't help it....it is better for you trying to understand this that fight it...sometimes porn gets us going and you benefit from it...if he is not having sex with you, you need to talk to him why?....there must be something is turning off from you....when the heart or the mind are upset with the one you love, you don't feel toot arouse thinking of them....communicate with him in a manner that he understand how this affects you.....put your heart on the table, but don't blame the porno....try to see if there are anything porn that you may like....remember, at 50s men don't have the same sex drive, you need to stimulate the mind and heart of a man....don't get too upset over this....the more you don't understand that everyone needs to be remind them how much they are loved....and you have to remind them in a way they recieve the message...and sometimes comes with sharing certain things....watching porn for him is private, wouldn't you like to be part of his life and be part of his privates fantasies?

Woman tend to think they are in the right to tell a men how they should behave when you have no idea how we feel and how we experience the world around us.....both of you should read about woman ad man sexual needs to start understanding what you are going through today.....good luck

[Hopeless Dork]

It is nothing....men are visual beings....we can't help it....it is better for you trying to understand this that fight it...sometimes porn gets us going and you benefit from it...

Benefit, seriously? What you see as a perk many women would find increddibly insulting. I mean I guess men are wired differently in that they don't care if the woman having sex with them is remotely attracted to them so long as she spreads her legs and accepts him, who cares if she finds him repulsive? See women , most, don't operate that way, most want to feel wanted and desired and to know that your guy is presenting his boner to you because he spent the afternoon at the juggly jugs website does not exactly feel like a reward... it feels like he's trying to use you.

I have no interest in being a blow up doll for my man's erections that he obtains from porno... thats no benefit to ME. Being who he is wanting and who he is aroused by is what turns me on. Fine, you want to get worked up with porn, go head, but you should not then seek to reap the rewards of pleasure a living breathing partner provides. Sorry to me, thats just plain insulting. If a man wants to have sex with hiscomputer, phone, tv screen and his hand , he can have at it... If he wants to be teased and pleased by someone in the flesh, he should be respectful enough to seperate the two.

For the OP. He likely isnt looking at the porn just to look, he's likely getting his sexual needs met from it, which is why his sex drive for sex with you likely isn't there. Talk to him about missing him sexually.. don't attack the porn, because its HIM and his (probable) choice to masturbate his natural urges away that is keeping your intimacy away... porn/no porn... that would still be the issue so focus on the meat of the problem and that is.. letting him know what you need/want from him sexually and seeing if he cares enough to focus on what it would take to make you happy and not just himself.

[spurzzz]

Here, here! I am a bloke and I agree with the above post ^^

I never understand why a bloke would turn to porn when he has a ready available partner in the other room.
- People really love to escape REALITY it seems?

[jns]

I also agree with HD.

[Charleena]

You have every right to be frustrated and upset with him. You were in the hospital and instead of taking care of you, he was busy watching fake porn? That's pretty low, I hate to say.

I don't think any guy has any reason to watch porn when he's married. That's a sign of major immaturity and he should take care of his little addiction before it hurts your relationship more.