[juley]

is there an average number that is out there, on what the average number of sexual partners for women are now, particually in there mid-late 20s.
I'm pressure by my friends that the number of sexual partners are hurting my odd of when I do find some that I would like to settle down with that the number of people I have slept with will be a factor? I love sex and find it great with whom ever I am with, and say that whomever I find will know that.

[Guest]

I see where your friends are coming from. Some people get turned off when they hear about a person's sexual past and they sometimes think that they won't be able to settle down because of it.

Maybe you'll be lucky and find someone who doesn't care much for your past and just sees you. Maybe they'll see you as a sex fiend and want nothing to do with you. -shrugs- If you're ready to settle down calming down with the sex would be a very smart decision. ^_^

[Irelandlover]

Research shows that the more partners you have before marriage the less likely you are to have one long term successful relationship. Not that you never will, just that it is not so likely to settle down for the rest of your life in a loving long marriage.

Also men and women for that matter can be put off by the fact that someone has had loads of partners. I for one find it a turn off.

[soldatka]

You don't have to tell anyone the number if you don't want to. I would suggest ignoring your friends, continuing to enjoy your life (as long as you are protecting your health too!) and maintaining a dignified and mysterious silence about the number of notches on your bedpost. Anyone who rejects you because you've had more totty than them...well they're not really thinking about what is important in a relationship, in my view.

[funlovinglady]

I have had quite a few lovers in my time and my partner knows my number and I know his but you know what, it does'nt worry us one bit and my husband actually liked the fact I was experienced.

If the person loves you it should'nt matter.

[Davey]

Big time turn off. That's plays a role in why women see men in they "that's all they want cliché. But you dun understand, no1 wants to settle with a rolling stone. They wana feel special to some extent, not jus another guy you slept with, and decided to come back. What's the difference between me and the hordes of other guys? That I was actually foolish enough to not call a cab. And men gossip jus as much as women. O that girl, yea she's a freak. Chance of relationship null, but sex that's another thing. Every1 is getting it free why should I commit right? So do what you do, enjoy life, but keep in mind the consequences of you're actions

[Uneeklyme]

The only real problem I see is the more sexual partners the higher the risk of an STI or similar. As far as the number, if you are being safe, I never really understood why anyone would really need to know that information. All they need to know is I am not a virgin and wouldnt pretend to be and I am STD free. If they are comparing themselves or wondering about my other partners and how they performed or were they better or what they did or who they were or how experienced I am...its their own insecurity IMO. Not that I would lie if I was asked but I would tell them to be very sure that is something they absolutely had to know and if they pushed it I make sure they understand I will not tolerate judgement, critisizm or fits from them especially with it being information they could have lived without.

[Davey]

yea, but if your not tryna tell that could be embarassment or regret. That's a 2 way street. Every1s views are different. If they care about it than it's not meant to be, but you choosing not to tell could make it worst. Every1 wants some1 to love them for them, but don't wanna com clean. By like I said, if hey care that much, it is what it is. I myself think you shouldn't have more than 15-25 sexual partners in your lifetime, but that's is me. I'm serial monogomus, an old fashioned I guess, and think how much you give it up says alot about yourself and your stock sir a solid relationship. U can't have ur cake and eat it too, screw every1 if you want, but dun be suprised when you decide that clocks batteries are getting low if no one is in a rush to marry a girl who probably boned half their friends and family

[damd]

I think there are some valid points here. I have to believe that there are some primal influences where a male wants to control who the female is mating with. Of course I believe there is a double standard where it is totally acceptable for a man to have many partners but for a woman not. Again, the primal instinct.

But why would you disclose how many people you have slept with? If you are affraid it is going to have a negative reprocussion then keep it to yourself.

[confusedguy3657]

Honestly, I'm dealing with an issue similar to this right now. Dated an incredible woman for almost 2 years, until last Dec., when I caught her essentially having an emotional affair. I told her I'd be willing to work things out if she'd be honest, but she kept insisting that she "needed time" -- so I ask that she leave me alone, stop calling, texting, emailing, etc - which she never did. Over the next four months she continues to call, text, etc, and we start talking about trying the relationship again, until I find out that the whole time we were apart, she was sleeping with guys, like, lots of guys (not at once). I slept with one person - and I've only slept with 5 in 10 years. I still don't know the real number (she's too ashamed/afraid to tell me). We have finally talked through much of it, and are considering giving it another shot, she has made tremendous efforts to be more open with me about things, etc. But the number still eats away at me, and the fact that I can't fully believe the number she said I think may be what makes it tought thought. But honestly, it just matters to some people very much as Davey stated earlier and some others couldn't care less.