[Fathersam]

My girlfriend and I have been together for over four years, and are trying to have sex now. I am worried about our first time hurting her. I just want to know if there is anything we can do to lessen the pain because she is really into it when i finger her, but if i use more than one finger, she says that it hurts. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[cdext41]

my first time was extremely painful, i dont think i ever felt that much pain before in my life. i cried and wanted him to stop so bad but knew that i wanted to have sex with him and it would get better after a few times.

aside from the obvious of using lube, i find that when my boyfriend talks to me, tells me he loves me/im beautiful/etc. i relax a lot more and get less tense. if im tense and he's still entering me its more painful than when i relax.

[DreamP346]

Not all first experiences are painful, but may be for many girls. Talk about it, and like cdext41 said, keep telling her how you feel. Stop to make sure she is OK and not justing waiting for it to be over. Be prepared to stop and quit for the day. Spend lots of time with forplay - finger, oral, etc. 20 minutes is a minimum. A women's body takes longer to get aroused than a man's. She may be mentally ready, but her body may not. Its possible that the first few times will be painful. Just stop and try again later or another day. Eventually it won't hurt. Make sure you are prepared with birth control so that is not on your mind. Read some books about sex and pleasure (not just the boring reproductive aspect of sex). I highly recommend Guide to Getting It On.

[Fathersam]

Thanks for the advice guys. I may look into that guide to getting it on.