[Guest]

Tell the guy to take a hike!

If he doesn't respect you enough to support you, is he really "husband material?"

Whatever people want to do in bed is up to them, as long as they BOTH agree. If one doesn't want to do something then the other should respect them enough to drop it.

It's pretty obvious that he doesn't completely respect you. If he did, this would be a non-issue.

[LilahX]

I'm in a relationship where 3somes and 4somes are just a part of our lives and have been for many years so I feel qualified to comment here.
If you do eventually decide it's something you absolutely can't do then it's to be hoped he will honour your decision and look for somethiing else to hot things up in the bedroom. BUT from meeting many many attached guys in the swinging scene I know firsthand that many do go looking for what they want anyway. I don't wish to scare you, or advise you to say 'yes' just to please him, but just be aware of what happens out there.

My best suggestion is twofold - firstly have a really good think about why the idea freaks you out so much. In my lifestyle including others for sex works b/c we have confidence in our relationship and our feelings for each other. WE know it's just sex with the other, but it's love with us and the other people are not seen as any sort of threat. As hard as it may be to understand, seeing each other with someone else is a huge turn on and ups the intimacy we share with each other. If you can achiee this mindset then there's a whole lot of fun to be had.

My second piece of advice is to talk, a lot, to your guy. You both need to be honest with each other and not judge the other person's feelings. Listen and learn about each other and hopefully you will come to a satisfactory outcome with this issue.

Oh, a third suggestion - when this topic comes up next, put it to your guy that IF you were to agree to this adventure that you'd expect reciprocal rights - a threesome with a guy. Even if it's not something you want, or have thought about, it's good to see how your man will react and whether he has double standards when it comes to sexual fantasies

Good luck with all this.

[DreamP346]

Have you asked him how he would feel if the situtation were reversed--you were the one without experience and wanted to go out and screw a few guys to even out your sexual partner numbers. That may make him think.

I am in a situation where my partner is a lot more experienced than I am and I wish I had meet him a few years after I had experimented to my heart's content. But I love him too much to ask to do those things since he is not into it. If you truely love somebody, you would never guilt them into doing things that make them uncomfortable. We all come for different backgrounds and experiences. What if its stuff like unprotected sex, drugs, one-night stands while intoxicated, things that are dangerous. Would it be acceptable to go do those things just because your partner did them before you hooked up! Sounds like this guy is not ready to settle down yet. Maybe you should ask about slowing down the relationship and seeing over people. See how that goes.

[Chas]

Because he knows you are bi, maybe it's just thought of you with another women that really turns him on. My wife is bi, and she often verbally shares her fantasies of being with another woman when I am going down on her (which brings her to orgasm quite quickly). If that is the case, you could agree to the threesome provided that you get to pick the other woman and that the focus of the sex is on you, not him screwing her.

[vvip]

im bi and once a year me my bestie and my fiance have wine and a good time... i trust her and she trusts us... ive always had an attraction to her even tho she isnt bi but she has a great time... the first time we did it it ended up with my hooking up with her and taking off her pants and fingering her whilst drunk my partner joined in and he did me more than her and was more focused and aroused by the women doing stuff to each other... not just ing another women... it stops this year because she has found a lover lol but just gotta find someone else which im finding difficult cause i know it cant be a friend like her but trust is a major key to the other women mabey sit down with drinks and discuss what you want out of it then go back to yyour partner and discuss what you want out of it with him