[Real Way]

I'm a 29 year old female and I was wondering if any of you other women have this problem.

I read an article a few weeks ago in the Prevention magazine that states women take a lot longer to turn on then men. The reason why is because are minds are constantly going and thinking of what needs to happen or get done. The magazine states that if you are a women that feel like this that you have to force yourself to have sex and your body will eventually catch up with your mind. After reading this article it really spoke out to me because that is exactly how I feel. I'm always thinking of what needs to get done and I always want to make sure that I get enough rest for the upcoming day.

But, that's not all. I also have horrible self image of myself. I don't like the way I look naked so I don't want other people (being my boyfriend) to see me naked, so I like the lights turned off or dim and the blankets over us so I know his face is concentrating on mine.

I also don't have a need to want to have sex. I love it when we are in that moment (once my mind is finally concentrated on it). But, I don't have the urge to want more of it. I'm always thinking of other stuff that I could be doing with my time.

It also is painful when I have sex. I'm lucky if we are able to have sex twice a week. I have really bad cramping afterwards that lasts a couple of days. My boyfriend saw a glimpse of the pain when he went to deep and I screamed and tears were pouring down my face.

I'm not sure if any of this is due to my head injury I had a about 4 years ago or what.
Needless to say our relationship is suffering due to this. We don't have sex often either due to pain or me not being in the mood. Can anyone help?

[caterpillar79]

Do you have any other medical condition? Do you exercise? Do you eat healthy? How's your head injury - do you still see the doctor or take any medicine for it?

I do sometimes feel preoccupied with a lot of things such that I cannot get turned on or I don't feel like I want to have sex. Sometimes, I don't feel attractive or sexy enough that I succumb to emotional eating.

Here are the things I need to know if you've done already:

1. Healthy diet
2. Regular exercise
3. Rest
4. Sufficient amount of water

In addition to that, I wonder if you have had your hormones checked? Do you have frequent headaches? Are you frequently stressed?

I am beginning to think it's more of self-image issue and that's why you don't feel like having sex when the occasion arises - is that the case? If the sex is painful, do you use any lubricants? Are you dry or lubricate enough?

I tend to gather more info before I respond, especially in your case, I need more input so I can weigh all the factors before anything else.

[Nholland]

I totally agree with the magazine about forcing it at first, I could probably go without sex all month if I stopped having it and got lazy. But sex, like alcohol and carbs and drugs, triggers the pleasure center of your brain that wants more the more it gets. So just make yourself at first and hopefully pretty soon you'll start to crave more and more. About the pain, when my boyfriend and I were first dating and only having sex once a week it felt like the first time every time and I'd always be sore, but once we started having it more regularly my body got used to it I guess and It doesn't hurt anymore. And lastly, men love nakedness, I guarantee hes not thinking about ur flaws. But maybe u can use fishnet stallings If you hate your thighs or a sexy waist cinched corsette if u hate ur stomach, then you'll feel better and he'll love it.

[Real Way]

Am I The Only One? Continued

At Caterpiller 79. Beside having a clubfoot and splenic flexure syndrome I do not have any other medical conditions. The effects of my head injury left me with constant vertigo and the sensation that I'm hungry is no longer there. So I have to force myself to eat or else I will go about the day without eating. I believe the pituitary gland controls that. I'm not sure what center of the brain controls the pleasure area.

Yes, I'm a very healthy person. I am 5'7'' and weight 130lbs. With my profession I have to be health conscious. Exercise per say I get enough of it at work so when I am home I make sure my body is resting for the upcoming days and that I am stretching to help my muscles heal.

At Nholland. I will give it a try. I like the idea of the fishnets and or corset. That way my insecure areas are hidden but I'm still pleasing him. As far as doing it more we have tried it and it hurts too much where we had to stop. It's not that I am dry it's the fact that its a lot of pressure and with my anatomy I am tipped back instead being tipped forward so a lot of my pain is radiated into my back and with my job I use my back constantly so more pain in an area where I have a lot of pain already just doesn't cut it.

[caterpillar79]

Can you use a customized cushion to aid you when making love? You can order it online. As with your tummy, is it flabby? Does it have any stretch marks or scars? What are you insecure about in particular? Your weight in relation to your height is within the healthy range, so what's wrong? (No offense meant)

[Real Way]

Continued

At Caterpillar79. What would the cushion help with? Are you talking about like a wedge? No stomach is not flabby and no scars. Thighs and butt is where I carry most of my weights. I have adipose tissue and cellulite there. Also my breast are only a 32 A. I've always been insecure about those areas.